My door is not for opening -

I really do hate f***ing hate Halloween and tonight the drawbridge will be up and my door shut to trick or treaters. Has a kid I didn’t mind throwing the odd egg and flour at my mates and that was about it I have always been a Bonfire Night person.

It is so Americanised now, kids looking for handouts but they won’t do a bit of penny for the guy these days. They are both begging in my book but I prefer to give to someone who goes old school going penny for the guy. Knocking my door threating something nasty if you don’t hand over something with a parent hanging around in the background is not for me.

The last time I was trick or treated was while I was in the shop around the corner in the queue some little girl caught me but that won’t happen again. I will make sure I do the shopping early. The weather here sounds Halloween friendly, which is annoying. I will be out later laying a minefield and throwing in some barbwire has a backup. I would like a moat with crocodile’s.

We will be running silent and in the dark tonight, hoping it will be enough to keep them off our door. We have been lucky over the last few years with no trick or treat activity outside our front door, result.

Swimming/Football - Memories

Seeing has I was up this morning way before the dawn chorus I was thinking today was going to be another long day for me as I yawned. A morning trip to the butchers and a day of TV was about all I had to look forward to and oh yes finishing off the book ‘Cardiff City Rebranded’ I have been reading.

Football had always been a massive part of my growing up not playing as such, more watching. I never liked the idea of joining a team but don’t get me wrong I played tons with my mates over the park in the street or down the lane. If it wasn’t football, I enjoyed swimming be it in the River Taff (summer time) or one of the pools in Cardiff.

Thinking back to when I was a teenager if I wasn’t watching my mates playing football and I had the money or could climb over the wall I would be down Ninian Park in the afternoon watching Cardiff City. I went with dad a lot it was a father and son thing we both loved football we had our place on the terrace where we always stood. Most fans had their spot and you would see the same faces even if you were free to wander the terrace. I looked forward to a sausage roll and a good game of football.

If it was a Saturday and Cardiff where playing away it maybe the Empire Pool or the smaller and less grand Guildford Crescent swimming pool even with its three pools, still it was my favourite and where in infant school I learnt to swim. Running down the street to get the bus into town with your swimming trunks wrapped in a towel after being forced by your mother to have a wash down so you are not ordered to have a wash before getting into the pool. Probably with a clean pair of underpants on. Moms are like that even though they are not there just the thought of their little darling being anything but 100% would give them hives.

With the Empire Pool, being all most next to the bus station it was regularly packed but the advantage over Guilford there was a cafeteria and you could sit and have something to eat while watching the fun in the pool. After you can sit outside in the seats and partake of some girl watching. While at Guilford, it was a bag of chips on the way home.

When I left school Cardiff City, become a major Saturday thing as I now had a bit more money even if it was dole money - I started to travel to away games. That would be a day out traveling to some town in England for 90 minutes of ecstasy or pain depending on the final score. You sometimes felt like an invading army but that was the beginning of the real naughty times off the pitch. It got to the point I would rather go to away games than go to Ninian Park.

Than one day, you meet that girl and wedding bells in the distant become louder and louder until you are standing in front of a vicar holding a bible. Times are a changing and Saturday becomes shopping until an agreement can be made about your Saturday afternoons at least. Then one day some keys are handed to you meaning you have a council house and god is a bluebird its minutes away from Ninian Park.

Butter on the outside but what's in the middle?

There can surely be no more essential a piece of kitchen equipment than the trusty Breville toasted sandwich maker. With its reassuringly British-sounding name and promise of hot comfort food, it has over the years carved its own little niche in the cupboards of kitchens everywhere. Do you think the Queen as a few in her kitchens?

My problem with it is the size of the toasties! Do the Breville Company really need to attempt to cut the toasties in half it rarely works? The two halves ‘pockets’ are tiny in the end ok for a snack but not a filling meal unless you eat like a sparrow. Why they don’t just seal the edges around the whole piece of bread is beyond me.

Thinking about the variety of toastie fillings it seems to be dominated by cheese and whatever as an option. My favourite is baked beans and bacon with a dollop of brown sauce I do recommend this also bacon and sliced tomatoes is a real treat. Some people do use crap fillings though! I remember reading someone using left over Christmas dinner in a toasted sandwich with a side order of gravy ... yuck. My youngest son is always making them and his way is simple. He just opens the fridge door, looks to see what’s there, and just chucks whatever into the Breville, which is not a pretty sight.

A number of years ago I did made an upgrade to a Panini maker but it was just not the same. I like the fact with the Breville you could seal the goodness of your ingredients in those lovely pockets. I am still griping about how small they are though.

I found this recipe on the internet I would like to share for an egg toastie which I plan to add to be menu soon as.

All you need to do is the following:

• Put the sandwich maker on to warm up (please note: it must be a sandwich toaster that seals the edges such as the Breville)
• Take Your pieces of bread and spread one side of each piece with butter - thinly
• Place a piece of bread into the toaster butter side down (ie touching the hot plate)
• Take a spoon and press the bread into the triangular cavities of the toaster to make little dishes or hollows

For the next part you have to be quick to prevent the egg running out (because those hollows you made don't really stay down but they do help)

• Crack an egg into the bread using the edge of the egg shell break the yolk in half and get half of it in each half of the sandwich
• Add a little salt and lots of pepper (if you like pepper as much as me)
• Put your other piece of bread on top (butter side up) and close your machine. The butter makes the outside lovely and crispy
• Cook the sandwich for about 3-4 minutes (or longer if you want a harder yolk).

The egg expands to fill the sandwich and, believe me, they taste delicious hot or cold. They will be very hot at first so you could cut them in half to cool them down.

Must see TV - Week beginning 28/10/2016 - My Choice

There was only one highlight of the week and that was the returning, ‘The Walking Dead’. Wow! And what a return – as I was expecting one but ended with two. Rick is a broken man by the end but I expect him to return to himself over the coming weeks. But it is what is going to be so interesting in the coming weeks watching Rick and his plans. It was a controversy opening with the media jumping on the violent. I must say I was shocked. It was brutal, long drawn out but nothing to complain about.

Saturday BBC2 – Harder They Come 10:30pm

Reggae legend Jimmy Cliff stars as Ivan Martin, an aspiring young singer who leaves his rural village for the capital city of Kingston, Jamaica hoping to make a name for himself. Robbed of his money and possessions his first day in town, he finds work with a self-righteous, bullying preacher and an unscrupulous music mogul who exploits naïve hopefuls. In desperation the simple country boy turns outlaw, at war with both the police and his rivals in the ganja trade.

This gritty, ground breaking film brought reggae music to the international stage, made Jimmy Cliff a star worldwide, and was a hit with me.

Sunday Discovery Channel – Alaska: The Last Frontier 8pm

Documents the Kilcher family who live off the grid outside of Homer, Alaska for generations. During the short summer, they have to plant crops and see to their farm, animals’, and repair and upgrade their homesteads. Hunting and fishing is a big part of the summer to stock up for the cold winter months. This season is reputed to be the hardest even for the families as the changing weather brings problems after problems.

Monday BBC1 – The Moonstone 2:15pm

These afternoon dramas have thrown up a number of gems to watch on the BBC. This time we are presented with a period crime mystery to keep us entertained that will be played out over five consecutive days. An adaptation of a Wilkie Collins’ detective novel with John Thomson playing the lead role Sergeant Cuff. He his tasked with the job of recovering the – the ‘moonstone’ which carries’ a curse.

Tuesday BBC2 – Arctic Live 8pm

Over three nights the BBC will be taking viewers to the Arctic with (crush alert) Kate Humber one of the three presenters along with Gordon Buchanan and Simon Reeve. This ambitious live show will chart life in the Arctic. Kate is in Alaska following offshore oil money while Simon reports on plans in Greenland for a huge uranium mine. Gordon is in Churchill, Canada, with the polar bears and the sea ice retreats.

Wednesday BBC4 – Television’s Opening Night: How the Box was Born 9pm

There are no recordings of the official opening broadcast on British television and this programme tries to recreate it. The cameras will be rebuilt with the advice of Paul Reveley (104) who worked with John Logie Baird the father on British TV in the 1930s. There will also be a performance of the first broadcast plus other information of the night.

Thursday Sky Cinema Premiere – Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension

Still reeling from the death of their young daughter, Ryan and Emily move their remaining daughter and their Uncle Mike from New York City to Palo Alto, California, where Ryan has a new job designing video games. As the family settles into their new home, they soon realize that something isn't quite right, and that someone or something intends to use their grief for sinister purposes.

Friday Sky 1 – Hooten & the Lady 9pm

A television series that follows the story of two-treasures hunter thrown together one American Ulysses Hooten (Michael Landes) and the British Lady Alex Lindo-Parker (Ophelia Lovibond). Travelling across the world together, these two initially unwilling partners search for the world's greatest mysteries. From the Amazon rainforest for Percy Fawcett's long-lost camp, to hunting across Siberia for the 51st Faberge egg, the two explore the world of the mythical and legendary.

Seventies Sex Comedy - Confessions of a Window Cleaner

Sex comedy or more broadly sexual comedy is a genre at was very popular during the sixties, seventies, and eighties. There is nothing wrong in principle with a sex comedy. In the theatre there are plays like No Sex Please, We're British a comedy farce with sexual overtones.

Sex comedies existed in Britain because the censorship laws banned the continental style hard-core porn films that left nothing to the imagination where here in this country it left you the lot. Often-low budget with the two most famous examples were the ‘Adventures” and “Confessions” series starring Robin Askwith in the latter.

The hero would be a cheeky chappie in the above films with shaggy hair, monkey grin, and brightly coloured nylon underpants. Women could not resist him mostly bored married women, thus allowing for countless romps. He would have a girlfriend that he would be desperate to be faithful with but with so much on offer, he be like a kid in a sweetie shop.

The sex would involve a lot of puff and gurning while performing press-ups over the semi-naked body of his latest conquest. After a couple of minutes, this energetic congress would be interrupted by a returning husband, boyfriend or parent leading to a mad dash to find somewhere to hide or he would go out the window.

One of the few interesting things about sex films of the 1970s is the opportunity to spot the stars of British comedy. They keep their decency and self-respect by keeping their clothes on sometimes, mostly keep away from anything too sexual. I looked at the cast of ‘Confessions of a Window Cleaner’, which you can see below.

Robin Askwith.... Last seen in Coronation Street and numerous other TV roles

Antony Booth.... Famous for his role in Till Death Us Do Part.

Bill Maynard.... Oh No, It's Selwyn Froggitt!

Dandy Nichols.... Till Death Us Do Part.

Sheila White.... She played Messalina in the BBCs I, Claudius (TV series)

Linda Hayden.... A regular on British TV

John Le Mesurier.... Dad’s Army

Many saw working in these kind of films as just a job. Major Hollywood star Richard Burton for instants who is on record he made films he normally wouldn’t touch for the wage packet. Others paying the rent with bit parts are actors such as Irene Handl and Alfie Bass.

This type of films were rather popular and would have a late evening showing before multi-cinemas with the ‘Confessions of a Window Cleaner’ perhaps the best known and most successful British sex film" of the era, and was the top-grossing British film of 1974.

Films that scared me - I like a Horror film

I like a good horror film but they don’t scare me. I might jump at a sudden scene like in Salem's Lot (1979) starring David Soul, when the vampire visits someone in prison and just pops up on the screen. I jumped but was not scared.

I watched The Exorcist with a pinch of salt, scared me no way, phooey. I was only shocked by the potty mouth of 13-year-old Linda Blair. I remember my first horror film if you can call it horror it was called, ‘Them’ an American black-and-white film about the A-bomb creating giant ants that was in the early seventies.

I have watched maybe 150 or more good ones and loads of crap as well but they are a very few that really gave me a fright, terrified yours truly, unlikely. It is more the subject matter that mostly affected me. With Halloween around the corner, I was of a mind to revisit them and test myself.

The Descent (2005)

Confined spaces is a problem for me even in films so a caving trip that goes horribly wrong is my nightmare. This film is about a group of female adrenaline junkies who checkout an uncharted cave system when a rock fall leaves them trapped deep inside the cave.

They set about looking for another way out but they are unaware they are been stalked by its inhabitants, a vicious breed of hungry flesh-eaters. They put up a strong fight but one by one, they succumbed to their fate or did they all.

American Mary (2012)

Funny how I can watch someone having an operation with no problem but a film with body mutilation and I watch behind my hands. Medical student named Mary who is growing increasingly broke and disenchanted with medical school and the established doctors she once idolized.

The allure of easy money sends a desperate Mary through the messy world of underground surgeries, which leaves more marks on her than the so-called freakish clientele.

She is also raped at a party by one of her lecturers and Gets her revenge in a particular nasty and gruesome way.

The Medusa Touch (1978)

Not a bloody film, but when I left the cinema I was shaking. In the film a French detective on temporary assignment with Scotland Yard, investigates an attack on writer John Morlar who is hit over the head by an unknown intruder and in a coma. In a series of flashbacks, the story of Morlar is revealed while he talks with psychiatrist, Dr. Zonfield.

Morlar has the ability to think horrible thoughts and make them come true and when Zonfield is doubtful, he makes a plane crash into a high-raised building. Slowly, the detective begins to connect the strange things that are happening in the world to Morlar with the help of Zonfield. He gets the final clue he needs from Morlar past. Zonfield goes to the hospital to kill Morlar but he kills her by making her jump through the window. Morlar then turns his mind on a London cathedral, where the Queen is scheduled to make an appearance -- but Morlar is thinking about the cathedral, and it is crumbling fast.

It was not a complete film but one character within it that gave me my biggest fright, yes, I was a total scaredy cat, and it gave me nightmares. When I was round 10-years-old I when to see Jason and the Argonauts (1963) in the local cinema.

It was not the fight scene towards the end of the film where Jason and his men battle the skeletons, but the gigantic statue of Talos. I dreamt he was astride the River Taff and looked right into my bedroom window and as brave has Jason I gave Talos a hefty punch but forgetting in was asleep and the window, smash.

I will probably have a dream about my friend Talos tonight if I have a good night sleep. It will likely surround that night but luckily, I don’t sleep by the window.

Clarks Pie Shop - Sausage Roll - Tasty

Should have been two

Well finding out the Clarks Pie Shop are now selling ‘Sausage Rolls’ was a complete surprise so I dispatched dad to pick some up this morning on his way up to my house. He lives in Grangetown not far from the shop, which really is handy and makes Tuesday Clarks Pie Day.

I love a sausage roll.

I maybe a pie man but I can never pass up the chances of a sausage roll or pastie you can see where I am going here as I have an addiction. Not so much these days as I have cut back in the hope of weight loss but I have Tuesdays.

Sausage rolls are one of those foods you can’t help but love. Normally filled with minced pork and herbs wrapped in pastry and baked to golden, flaky perfection. It’s also one of those foods no one knows much about, origins-wise—and nor do they really care, if they’re in the presence of fresh-from-the-oven sausage rolls. But it’s safe to say that these meaty snacks have been consumed in the U.K. at home, in pubs, during parties, and as appetizers for some years now.

The Clarks Sausage Roll.

Two for a £1 that is good value. One problem, I was looking forward to them when my youngest son sat down eating something. It looked like a sausage roll to me so I quickly laid claimed to the last remaining one. So what to make of my new treat. I decided to heat it up first in the oven over the microwave, which ruins pies and such things turning them to soggy jelly.

The reason for the two was I was going to try one hot and the other cold and I am greedy. I have to say it was very tasty and different the pastry was firm not flaky like most sausage rolls making the crumb count low. The filling was also tasty and like the pastry firm with a chewy texture, leaving me pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed it and welcome this new member to the Clarks Pie family.

The Walking Dead - ***Spoiler Alert*** - TV Review

It was a long wait since the sixth season cliffhanger of ‘The Walking Dead’ with Rick and his crew waiting on their fate at the hands of the new super villain Negan. I recently purchase NowTV because my TV provider Virgin doesn’t have Sky Atlantic in their line up and it’s getting harder to access these shows on iffy internet streams I normally use. I was up early and after catching up with Westworld, I remembered The Walking Dead had just finished so watched it on catch-up.

The seventh season premiere episode crackled with menace thanks to Negan and his bat as he walked up and down the line of Rick and his chums. The rumour mill was that Glenn was going to get his head stoved in but we were made to wait and wait until Negan stopped in front of Abraham. He took what was coming like a man but his head took a real pommelling. It was messy.

Negan’s bat covered with barbed wire was now soaked in blood and it looked like he hadn’t finish as he continue to walk the line. Smash! It was Glenn’s turn. The rest of the group looked on in horror still in shock of the death of Abraham and now Glenn they were beside themselves.

He (Negan) then takes Rick for a drive mainly to impress his superiority over Rick playing mind games putting doubt into his head leaving him looking a shell of his old self. When he returns to the group Negan, still playing mind games tells Rick to chop, his sons arm off, nasty, He didn’t but for how long before he will be using threats to Rick and his group again. With Negan now the alpha male Rick and the rest head back to the Alexandria community to wait on Negan’s arrival for his tribute.

Those scenes were upsetting and extremely graphic, foremost because of how drawn out they were. Negan's purpose was to wring any vestige of resistance out of the group's leader, Rick who defiantly told him in the wake of those murders, "I am gonna kill you." By the end, having threatened Rick's son and the other survivors, Negan announced, "You are mine”, laying the groundwork for what amounts to a life in servitude.

The producers certainly got the casting right, which seems especially vital having just sacrificed two such significant characters with Negan brings a mix of charisma and absolute ruthlessness to the role.

Nevertheless, it’s most admirable qualities have increasingly been overshadowed by its more distasteful ones -- not merely in demonstrating just how brutal humanity can be, but by toying with its audience, dangling plot twists the way somebody plays with a kitten.

So when Negan informed a broken Rick, "Things have changed”, he wasn't just talking about life within this post-apocalyptic world. Because while Negan's presence as what amounts to the new sheriff in town has once again altered the show's dynamics.

Must see TV - Week beginning 21/10/2016 - My Choice

Some interesting TV shows to watch this upcoming week the highlight being the return of ‘The Walking Dead’ and the final of ‘Bake off’. The highlight of the last 7 days for me was Gold Rush on the Discovery Channel. I love a bit of gold hunting, this is one of the best in that gene, and this year in particular looks very interesting.

One of the three groups look to be going to have a torrid time which could see them break up putting friendships on the line.

Saturday BBC3 - Class (Online)

Another Doctor Who spinoff starring Katherine Kelly as Quill, a grumpy physics teacher at a Sixth Form College called Coal Hill Academy linked Coal Hill School that has been featured in the main Doctor Who series. Her class of exceptional students find their lessons interrupted by a shadowy monster, who comes through splits in time and space in search of a mysterious alien in this opening episode.

Doctor Who himself as a cameo and don’t worry Class will be on BBC1 or BBC2 later in the year.

Sunday BBC2 – QI XL 10:35pm

Out with the old Stephen Fry, in with the new as Sandi Toksvig makes her debut as the new host of the show. This is an extended edition. It’s not as if Toksvig doesn’t know what she is letting herself in for having been a regular as a guest. Stephen Fry’s dry humour will be missed but I expect to giggle away has is show isn’t a belly laughing kind of comedy panel show.

Monday Fox – The Walking Dead 9pm

Last time we saw Rick and is crew they were on their knees and some new nasty was about to cave in one of their heads with his barbed-wire-wrapped baseball bat after a wait that seems like an eternity. There has been a lot of speculation about who gets it but tonight we find out. What ever happens we can expect many walkers and infighting among those fighting for survival, I just can’t wait.

Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild 9pm

I enjoy stuff like this people living on the edge. The adventurer journeys to the USA’s frozen Pacific Northwest to live with a British-born woman who has spent more than half her years living in the wilderness. Living this kind of life is a fantasy dream for me.

Wednesday BBC1 – The Great British Bake Off (Final) 8pm

The final and the last time it will be the present team together before the show up sticks to Channel 4. There is rumoured to be two upcoming festive shows and that is it for the BBC. I have to say I have a favourite in the final who I picked before the show started, Candice. Yes, I picked her because she was a looker but she turned out to be able to bake. Also in the final is Jane and Andrew and the viewing figures should go through the roof.

Thursday Film4 – Sin City: A Dame to Kill For 10pm

This film weaves together two of Miller’s classic tales – ‘Just another Saturday Night’ and ‘A Dame to Kill For’ along with new stories including the never published ‘The Long, Bad Night.’ The second visit to the infamous city is part prequel and part sequel, wrapping around the original 2005 film. Once again, we see the town’s most hard-boiled citizens cross paths with some of its more reviled inhabitants.

There are a few familiar characters returning, including Jessica Alba as stripper Nancy Callahan, Mickey Rourke as Marv, called ‘Conan in a trench coat’ by Miller, Rosario Dawson as prostitute Gail and Bruce Willis as avenging cop John Hartigan. They are joined by Sin City newbies including Eva Green as the ‘Dame’ Ava Lord, coin-flippin’ Johnny played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Josh Brolin playing Dwight McCarthy, the same character as Clive Owen played in the original, only this time with a face lift - hey it’s a Frank Miller world!

Friday Film4 - Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead 10:50pm

Zombies invade the Australian Outback in this brain-splattered, Mad Max-meets-the-undead thrill ride. When an apocalyptic event turns everyone around him-including his wife and daughter-into marauding zombies, everyman mechanic Barry arms himself to the teeth, soups up his car, and hits the road in order to rescue his sister from a deranged, disco-dancing mad doctor.

Bursting with high-octane car chases, crazy-cool homemade weaponry, and enough blood-and-guts gore to satisfy hardcore horror fans, it should be fun.

Football Pies - The Ultimate Pie Trek

Rarely am I jealous of anyone well maybe someone who has a big lottery win but today reading the story of a football fan traveling around visiting every ground trying there pies struck a chord with me. Yes, the pangs of jealousy are high.

I have read the book 92 Pies by Tom Dickinson who also undertook the same task but completed the journey in one season. Fulham fan Jonny Smith, 25, began is quest in August 2013 as a bit of fun be for it become an obsession and is still munching his way around the football stadiums of the Premiership/EFL. He is 50 grounds/pies in so far on the 92 grounds, which if the EFL expands will rise to 100.

There is a blog

Despite visiting some of the biggest and probably best football arenas, such as Old Trafford, Anfield, and The Emirates, there pies are not among his favourites his best pie can be found at Bristol City’s Ashton Gate with only two pies from the Premiership in the top ten Sunderland and Crystal Palace. The Cardiff City Clarks Pie is currently fifth in his top ten while his worst can be found a Carrow Road, home to Norwich whose joint owner is TV cook Delia Smith but I doubt she makes the pies.

Speaking to the press, he said, “What started off as a bit of a hobby has spiralled and now it’s my lifelong goal to find the best. What I’m looking for in a pie is a crispy top and juicy filling.
“It must be nice and hot to warm you on a cold football day, and I want it for a reasonable price and from a local butcher.”

When I use to travel myself to away games way back in the sands of time most of the grounds would have the same pies from one of the big pie manufacturers like Peters Pies. While up north the pies where meat and potato and scotch pies. Clubs seem to have wised up about pies at football because many clubs now will stock local pies from local butchers or bakeries.

Yes, this is a true wish of mine a pie trek around football grounds and would be on my bucket list but it will never happen so I will have to read about others living out my dream.

See No Evil 2 - Film Review

After watching The Neon Demon movie, I spied a link to another film, which I had not seen, and could have been the horror slasher kind of movie I was craving. Having not seen the first one I was coming into this with fresh eyes.

See No Evil 2 is a below average slasher film starting right where the first one ended. The killer Jacob Goodnight (Glen "Kane" Jacobs) is supposedly dead and transferred to the city morgue. At the same time, there is a group of friends and co-workers throwing a birthday party for one of the morgue medical examiners called Amy (Danielle Harris). The resurrected killer is soon hunting her, her friends, and colleagues in the building. Mayhem and bloodshed ensue.

While this film shows promise in the beginning it soon slows down and gets boring after a while. There is some attempt at character development in the beginning but it is clichéd and doesn't go beyond the main characters. There is the co-worker Seth (Kaj Erik Eriksen) who is secretly in love with Amy. There is her brother Will (Greyston Holt) who is critical of her job and over protective. There are her friends who you know are there only to increase the body count and of course with a morgue at hand a couple of the partygoers where bound to have sex after giving the supposedly dead Jacob a thrill.

Strange that in The Neon Demon there was a lesbian sex scene between the makeup artist and a dead body in a morgue.

Whilst this is usual fare in slashers, here you can almost predict who is going to be killed off next, so it takes away a lot of the suspense out of the film. The lighting provided a very eerie environment throughout the entire film. See No Evil 2 is an ok horror movie but not the slasher movie I was hoping for so the search goes on.

The Neon Demon - Film Review

When I found the film, I was hoping for a horror slasher type movie set in the beauty industry but it isn't a full-fledged horror until the end. The Neon Demon is more of a psychological horror thriller that explores concepts about standards of beauty, narcissism, envy, and jealousy. It was the film or watching soaps with wifey … ear plugs in laptop on.

The story is very simple. It follows Jesse, played by Elle Fanning, 16-year-old orphan we are led to believe. She leaves small hometown America with dreams of being a fashion model and on the way stumbles into the industry with her agent, telling her she must tell everyone she is 19 years old. She becomes friends with a make-up artist and two very decadent and cynical models. Jesse has a devoted loving boyfriend and lives in a crummy motel owned by Keanu Reeves. He's a cruel and insensitive person.

However’ Keanu's character is the least of Jess's worries because she is a young naive innocent teenager trying to make a career in the cutthroat fashion industry. Moreover, Jesse definitely gets "swallowed up" literary in the monster that is The Neon Demon.

It's a very artsy type of film. Visually stunning and character driven though like it is suppose to be since the topic is how the fashion world is obsessed with the essence of beauty and youth. I thought the story was a little too long and abstract. But definitely creepy especially Jesse's fate at near the end. I felt sorry for her character. Most of the movie is mostly long shots of absolutely beautiful cinematography.

Dole TV - Seventies Nostalgia - Unemployment

Do you remember Dole TV in the seventies it was dead boring. I am thinking of 1977 jobless, most of your friends at work while at the youth job centre the job board was empty. All you had to look forward to was laying on the settee watching TV because back then no one had a tele in their bedroom.

No matter how many job applications you sent off no job offer came back through the letterbox. So all you had was TV where even school programming started to look interesting.

Compared with today Dole TV back then was completely crap when the highlight of the day was Pebble Mill . Remember that live from Birmingham’s Pebble Mill studios a television magazine programme with Bob Langley the afternoon candy for the ladies and Peter Seabrook in the garden. It was a blend of blandness in a magazine/chat show/cabaret mish mash where crooners and comedians lived. They would get schoolchildren in regular doing some dance routine or something.

Turn over to ITV you got House Party, presented by women for women who were all so middle class. A wide range of topics was discussed and various housekeeping items were demonstrated but unlike todays, offering Loose Woman sex was not on the menu.

The mornings were dyer and a reason to stay in bed but if you had to get up and you switched on the TV, you were confronted with – Children School TV, educational programmes. One I particular remember on the BBC was ‘Going to Work’ which that the time I found rather funny. There was also a German news programme god knows why that was on. Although there was the odd gem in among the tat like ‘How We Used to Live’ on ITV.

But for Pebble Mill the BBC lost Dole TV easily with their morning and afternoon diet of school programming and for some reason Pobol y Cwn. While ITV had Paint along with Nancy, bloody Crown Court and I remember the miniseries ‘Sam’. You also got afternoon films and Emmerdale Farm when it was about farming.

There was only two channels to view back then, as I am not counting BBC2, which was really dread viewing. Today Dole TV as a new name Jobseeker's Allowance TV and it so easier with lots of channels, 50” TV screen, interactive with the internet, remote controls, and Jeremy Kyle. The only common thing about now and then is the settee unless there is a TV in the bedroom.

FA Cup - First Round Proper - New Team for me

These early rounds of the FA Cup don’t half come around quickly it only seems like yesterday I was welcoming Lincoln United on board. With the next round, we will see the lower leagues of the Football League entering the draw it is like reaching Wembley for some. There is always a chance of a giant killing.

My team in this round was Lincoln United playing in the Evo-Stik League Northern Premier - First Division South who had a home fixture against Spennymoor Town who play in the Evo-Stik League Northern Premier Division, a league above.

I am afraid my association with Lincoln United was short lived it was Spennymoor Town who booked their spot in the first round (proper) with an ultimately comfortable win. Lincoln will be pocketing just over £17,000 in prize money for any small non-league club a welcome boast to club funds.

There were some big teams in today’s draw, which was live an hour or so on the BBC. The likes of Bolton Wanderers, Portsmouth, and Sheffield United are in the draw all teams any non-league team would love to play. In the draw Spemmymoor were handed an away trip to the team everyone loves to hate MK Dons.

In the draw Ninth-tier Westfields are at home and will face the winners of the replay between York City and Curzon Ashton. "We are delighted we are at home, six home games on bounce now this season," Westfields chief executive Andy Morris told BBC Sport. "I'm quietly confident with a home draw.

"Getting this far is a huge bonus - we have earned enough money so far to get us through this season and keep us going into next season."

This is what the FA Cup is about and what I enjoy about the competition. Teams in the lower end of football where small amounts of money can keep a team that could be on the edge going.

• First Round (Proper) – MK Dons v Spennymoor Town
• Fourth Round Qualifying - Lincoln United 0-3 Spennymoor Town Att 578
• Third Round Qualifying - Lincoln United 3-1 Handsworth Paramore Att 315
• Second Round Qualifying - Handsworth Paramore 2-0 Burscough Att 98
• First Round Qualifying – Squires Gate 2-5 Handsworth Parramore
• Preliminary Round – Squires Gate 3-2 West Didsbury & Chorlton
• Extra Preliminary Round - Maltby Main 2-3 Squires Gate

The Yob - Comic Strip Presents - TV Review

Normally I would never get the plastic out pay to watch something on the internet but I was unable to find The Comic Strip Presents ‘The Yob’, free so had to pay. I vaguely remembered it while watching another Comic Strip Presents offering which was free.

A trendy, pretentious music video director Patrick Church (Keith Allen) is hoping to make the next David Bowie video, but his younger rivals get the job. Having turn down UB40, he now jumps at the chance to direct their upcoming video. At a UB40 concert he enters into what he believes is a toilet but it is not, while in the other cubicle is a nasty football hooligan Steve played by the late Gary Olsen.

In fact, the toilets is a teleportation machine that transfer brain patterns from one to another the scientist and his assistant hoped who have a lab at the back of the concert hall. The machine as worked and slowly their character begin to change.

Top: Patrick with girlfriend
Bottom: Patrick the Yob

Patrick shows signs of changing by mumbling to himself about Arsenal, Allen in real life is a Fulham fan. At the video shoot for the new UB40 single, which by the way is ruddy awful. When cut is shouted the camera man tells Patrick the shot ends on the bass player who is black and he is not happy telling the director to re-shoot with the instruction to “Don’t finish on the sooty” to the shock of everyone in ear shot.

The talking to himself becomes wilder and wilder he now drinks pints of beer instead of spritzers and his girlfriend tells her best friend he has become wild sexually. At the after show party for the UB40 video he (Patrick) takes a dislike to a black guy he believes is flirting with his girlfriend and pops open a bottle of champagne in his face. When he retreats to the toilet his girlfriend’s friend follows him to make sure he is ok but is girlfriend finds them shagging.

She goes around to his flat the next morning and walks in on him shagging some bird called Linda. She goes to pack but find all her clothes have been changed to tarty stuff she would never wear. Patrick now does a full on ‘American Werewolf in London’ transformation into the Yob and walking down the street chanting, “You’re going to get your head kicked in” as he disappears down the street. That the same time the scientist and his assistant pull up.

They explain what as happen to Patrick on the way to see Steve who was now on full Patrick mode much to the upset of his mum. Steve understands what happen to Patrick and you get the feeling he is happy with the new him. Later down the local pub a full on fancy dress competition with Steve’s step dad turning up as a ‘Black Hitler’. Steve wins the fancy dress competition just then Patrick arrives walks up to Steve and nuts him and all hell breaks out in the pub.

Steve and Patrick are pulled away, taken back to the lab in hope of reversing the process but the assistant comes up with the idea to merge the two into one. With all this going on the lab cat is chasing a fly, and yes you know what’s going to happen the fly is going to end up in the third chamber. When the door opened, standing in front of the assistant and Patrick’s girlfriend is an Adonis of a man but for the fact, his lower half was that of a ginger cat, tail as well. Great viewing on a Sunday afternoon of boredom.

The Heroes - Nostalgia TV

With no football this afternoon after Cardiff played last night, I was in need for something to watch before ‘Final Score’ so the search began. A reference to Jason Donovan got me thinking about some war film that I enjoyed watching so to google I went.

It turned out to be a made for TV series ‘The Heroes’
Its 1943 and a group of Australian and British Commandos are assembled to attack the port of Singapore. The plan is to use a captured Japanese fishing boat to sail from Australia has close as possible to Singapore before transferring to canoes for the remainder of the attack on Singapore harbour.

The first attempt was scuppered when the fishing boat breaks down, forcing them to return to port for repairs before they could attempt the long and hazardous journey to their target.
They set of again this time the trip is uneventful but for some issues with the tide in the Lombok Straight. Within striking distance, the commandos take to their canoes to attack the harbour while the boat hides among the islands to pick them up on their return. They plan to use limpet mines to destroy as much Japanese shipping as possible. The sunk seven ships in total with a number damaged.

After making their escape they island hopped hiding from the Japanese to reach the rendezvous with the fishing boat initially missing the pickup. They were eventually picked up making their way back to Australia. The return trip was uneventful but for a near encounter with a Japanese warship. They got away with the attack with the Japanese have no idea how the attack was carried out lead to repercussion for the local population.

The attack was named Operation Jaywick was followed by Operation Rimau. Three ships were sunk, but the participants, were killed or captured and executed.

It was a pity that I could not find a version of the made for TV mini-series. In the end, I had to settle for the 90-minute film release. The film is a brilliantly produced film, fairly close to the book and in my opinion just as good, which is a rare thing to be honest.

Must see TV - Week beginning 15/10/2016 - My Choice

Another fair week of TV plenty to watch and catch up with across all my channels which will soon increase but more of that again. My highlight of the week was the double bill end of ‘Gold Divers’ were gold was hard to come by meaning trouble for some.

Diving under the ice looks crazy to me for the amount of gold they find but they will be back with their dredges soon as the ice disappears.

Saturday Sky Cinema Premiere – In the Heart of the Sea 8pm

In the winter of 1820, the New England whaling ship Essex was assaulted by something no one could believe: a whale of mammoth size and will, and an almost human sense of vengeance. The real-life maritime disaster would inspire Herman Melville's Moby-Dick. But that told only half the story. "In the Heart of the Sea" reveals the encounter's harrowing aftermath, as the ship's surviving crew is pushed to their limits and forced to do the unthinkable to stay alive. Braving storms, starvation, panic, and despair, the men will call into question their deepest beliefs, from the value of their lives to the morality of their trade, as their captain searches for direction on the open sea and his first mate still seeks to bring the great whale down.

Sunday Channel 4 – The Crystal Maze Celebrity Special for Stand up to Cancer 9pm

I loved The Crystal Maze from its first airing on Channel 4 in 1990 to its end in 1995. A team of contestants tackle a series of ingenious games and fiendish challenges in a giant fantasy world, with the aim of collecting as many crystals as possible in this game show. This is a celebrity special for ‘Stand up to Cancer’ week on the channel.

Monday BBC 1 – Surviving Aberfan 9pm

Get the handkerchief ready because you are going to have your heartstrings pulled as we look back 50 years to the Aberfan Disaster. I was only six at the time and have vague memories of news reports and that there was a mass for those who had died. What makes this unforgettable is the loss of so many young children, 116 children, and 28 adults when a build-up of water in the accumulated rock and shale, above a school suddenly started to slide downhill in the form of slurry.

Tuesday Discovery Channel – Gold Rush 9pm

If there is something guaranteed to catch my attention its programmes about finding gold, digging up, and selling gold and for me Gold Rush is the daddy of this kind of this reality/factual programming. We follow the fortunes of three groups of miners. Young Parker Schnabel in his early 20s took over the Big Nugget mine from his grandfather, John Schnabel, who decided to step down. He died before the beginning of the new series. Todd Hoffman with a group of friends and family have had an eventful journey on Gold Rush chasing gold from Alaska to South America. Tony Beets and family have refurbished an old 75-year-old Gold Dredge to help in there search for gold.

Wednesday Syfy Channel – The Exorcist 9pm

I have been waiting for this to hit the screens although I have seen this opening episode thanks to an iffy internet stream. I have to say it left me wanting more but I decided to hang on for its UK airing. I think most have seen the film, which was ground breaking stuff at the time, but we will have to wait and see with this TV series.

Thursday Channel 4 – Tattoo Fixers: For Stand up to Cancer

Again, the Stand up to Cancer campaign caught my eye with is semi-celebrity special of Tattoo Fixers. I am not a big fan of tattoos in fact I don’t like them especially people who don’t know when enough is enough. Why I like Tattoo Fixers, to watch the idiots who get drunk and get an embarrassing tat on holiday a lot of the time in Magaluf.

Friday Channel 4 – Gogglebox: Celebrity Special for Stand up to Cancer

Another offering from Channel 4’s Stand up to Cancer a celebrity Gogglebox special. Famous faces join the regular TV critics. We are all critics I thing that is why the shows format works and throw in interesting characters and we have a fun hour of TV.

City v the Wurzels - Warnock era - Come on City

International football over until next month and tonight Cardiff City resume their battle to climb up the league table. The visitors to the Cardiff City stadium today are Bristol City, for this Sevenside Derby with the game live on Sky Sports.

There will be some new faces in the dugout with new boss Neil Warnock his assistant Kevin Blackwell with Ronnie Jepson first team coach. During the international break, our new boss did not give the grass a chance to grow under his feet bringing in four new faces wasting no time strengthening his squad.

The Bluebirds have made Kieran Richardson their fourth signing of the Neil Warnock era and along with Marouane Chamakh have signed short-term deals until January. I would expect that if they were successful during their stay with the club, the deal would be extended. Also joining the squad is Junior Hoilett and Sol Bamba who both arrived in South Wales looking for new starts.

It is unclear if any will be involved in tonight’s game. Will any start the game or be on the bench?

Reports in the press and social media are suggesting the biggest attendance of the season even with the game being televised. It shows a belief in boss Warnock can turn the season around. The Bristol City wurzels fans will be parking up their tractors in numbers at the CCS with all visitors tickets sold (2,000) will attend.

Form wise Bristol City have won their last four games and are currently 5th in the league table while Cardiff have just won a single game in the last four and we know where we are in the table. A win would lift Cardiff out of the relegation zone pending on other results over the weekend and get the fans excited for football again. City will not have to wait long for their next game on Wednesday we are home again with the visitors Sheffield Wednesday coming to South Wales.

The Flashing Blade - Nostalgia TV

Back in the early 70 Saturday mornings would consist of The Virginian and one of my favourites ‘The Flashing Blade’ pure boys adventure stuff. It was a French television serial dubbed into English but still popular and not the only programme of its kind remember White Horses, Robinson Crusoe (what haunting music!), Belle and Sebastien and the scary of The Singing Ringing Tree all imports from around Europe.

Has well as Saturdays they also had runouts during school holidays went the BBC worked out there was an audience for children to be entertained.

The plot revolves around some war between France and Spain with the French besieged garrison town of Casal the Spanish want but with rumour of a possible truce, they are desperate to capture the strategically important fortification before it happens.

Step up our hero and his sidekick, Francois, the Chevalier de Recci, and his servant Guillot with the hope of the besieged French in there hands. General Thoiras, orders Francois and Gullot to break through Spanish lines to get word of the attack to the French Army. The pair, with their superior swordplay and horsemanship, embark on a daring mission evading capture, enemy spies and pursuing soldiers to deliver their message with Don Alonso out to stop them.

Love interest is provided when Recci falls in love with a high born lady, Isabelle de Sospel along the way. The series ends with the Chevalier bringing news of the peace conference's decision to the Spanish Forces surrounding the castle.

Must see TV - Week beginning 07/10/2016 - My Choice

Looking over next weeks must see TV there are a number of interesting shows to peruse. My highlight from last week was a catch up of ITV‘s Victoria. Not my kind of thing so I avoided it but one bored afternoon I decided to watch the first episode and was hooked and found myself watching the back catalogue.

I am looking forward to the final of this series on Sunday with a Christmas special rumoured and second series already commissioned.

Saturday BBC1 – Strictly Come Dancing 6:45pm

I like a bit of dancing on a Saturday only if it is on the TV I have two left feet and sadly, I can tell you the last time I was on the dance floor and not just walking across it, 1985 at Upstairs Downstairs, my wedding night do.

Still trying to get use to not seeing Ola Jordan my goddess of the dance floor who left the show. I have my favourite but my wife believes I just pick the sexiest female well I have not disappointed her with model Daisy Lowe my pick this year. It much of the same old same old but I like it because it is clean Saturday night family fan.

Sunday Channel 4 – Speed with Guy Martin 8pm

Motorcycle racer and mechanic Guy Martin undertakes a series of speed-based challenges, exploring the boundaries of physics and learning about the science of speed.

Tonight he will try to break the motorcycle land speed record that currently stands 376mph, aiming to reach 400mph. He plans to ride a unique twin-engine jet-propelled bike across Bonneville Salt Flats in Nevada famous for land speed record attempts.

Monday - Sky Cinema Premiere - The 5th Wave 8pm

Four waves of increasingly deadly alien attacks have left most of Earth decimated. Against a backdrop of fear and distrust, Cassie (Chloë Grace Moretz) is on the run, desperately trying to save her younger brother. As she prepares for the inevitable and lethal 5th wave, Cassie teams up with a young man who may become her final hope - if she can only trust him

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Sounds an interesting one of my favourite types of films aliens invading my beloved earth and it is always helpful to pick up ideas for when they arrive.

Tuesday Pick TV – Z Nation 10pm

The start of a new series of this zombie feast not on a Walking Dead level but still I enjoyed its first outing

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A zombie virus has gutted the United States of America and the rest of the world a team must transport the only known survivor of the plague after being bitten from New York to California, where the last functioning viral lab waits for his blood.

He can control the zombies, which comes in handy. That the end of the last series they reached California only for the Chinese to make appearance, drum roll, what happens next?

Wednesday Sky Cinema Select – The Survivalist 10:30pm

In a kill-or-be-killed world where starvation is rife and strangers are always dangerous, The Survivalist lives off the grid, and by his wits. When a starving woman and her teenage daughter discover his forest refuge, his loneliness drives him to overcome his suspicion and strike a bargain with them in return for bed and board. But as desire becomes stronger than necessity, the exchange becomes an uneasy, ongoing arrangement, which threatens not only his carefully constructed world but also his life.

Thursday Discovery Channel – Deadliest Catch: Dungeon Cove 9pm

This is a spinoff from the ‘Deadliest Catch’ one of the Discovery Channel’s most successful show. The new show explores the lives of Dungeness crab fishermen and their families in and around Newport, Oregon. Set in one of the last remaining fishing towns along the edge of the Oregon coast, heading north to British Columbia – an area that has earned the dubious distinction of being crowned Graveyard of the Pacific. That is owing to the unpredictable weather conditions, coastal features, and currents that have caused a large number of shipwrecks over the years.

Friday Sky Sports 1 – Cardiff City v Bristol City 7pm

Championship football is back after the international break and tonight we are hoping to see a new look Cardiff City. It will be Cardiff City’s new manager Neil Warnock’s first game in charge and what a game the Sevenside Derby.

The games are always be fought with passion and hopeful there will be a good home crowd backing of the new boss. The away end will be full.

One for the iPlayer due to over commitments

Friday BBC4 – The Story of Skinhead 9pm