My Porch .... A Memory

When I was a kid, we had a porch and it was like a little den to me. The porch had a plain red tiled floor, tiled with a mix of brightly colour tiles either side to about half way up the wall. The walls above the tiles was old and tired looking with peeling paint but it was still a cool place.

I remember sitting on the doorstep watching the rainfall, or the birds feeding on some stale bread I’d threw out onto the road. Sometimes I would sneak some fresh bread just so I could sit and watch the birds keeping it secret from mum who would be none too happy I was wasting bread. On a sunny day, it was a cool place to sit if there was no direct sunlight shining through the doorway as the tiles would feel cold.

There would be empty milk bottles piling up ready for the early morning arrival of the milkman to take them away. It was known for me to smash the odd bottle and I would be sure to tell mum it was an accident. In the morning, the milk would be there in the porch and hopefully the birds had got to ready for breakfast and I would normally have Weetabix with milk and hot water.

My mum would wash the porch and if it were wet, you would have to jump over it with a run and jump like Lynn (the leap) Davies when he won the Olympic gold medal in Tokyo in 1964. I like to sit there and make dad clamber over me. He would smile in his baggy blue works overalls, always baggy has he was the slightest of dads but with a beautiful heart. Over would go a steel toe boot followed by the other one carefully missing my young head.

Friends would gather in my little porch to chat, plan, and just hangout. Once my porch conspired to get me four of the best, (the cane) when a little ditty was laid at my door. The song ‘Hitler he’s only got one ball’ was attributed to me when in fact it was told to me while sitting in my poach. It was taken into the schoolyard where upon the blame for bring the song into school was put around my neck hence four of the best. By the away, I was about 8/9 years-old.

Porches on the whole have disappeared now behind outer doors or some tacky plastic extension, which is a real shame.

TV review … My Granny the Escort

My granny the escort - Beverley, 64

I sat back last night to watch Channel Fours latest dip into the sex trade ‘My Granny the Escort’ with a tad bit of pervy interest. I have no sex hang-ups or problems with prostitution/escorting each to their own in my book, but why watch if you feel uneasy about the subject, you can guarantee the channel received complains.

I know one person lapping it up Iain Duncan Smith, Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, who not content with sending the long-term unemployed out to work to earn their benefits, would surely be rubbing his hands having come up with a new idea to reduce the countries pension’s problems. An army of granny hookers taking the strain off the countries pension bill.

It was a full on programme and the old dears were happy to revealing their stories of sex for money, which is completely legal by the way if you work alone. Surprisingly the three mature escorts/older women featured in the programme work with their families’ knowledge with various degrees of support. They all said they were happy in the work and like sex, which is the bog standard reply for most sex workers who choose that line of work. I think I believe them, these three anyway.

Their clients are men of all ages, sometimes as young as 20, but what is the motivation behind some men’s desire to have sex with older women? Although I said earlier, I was ok with prostitution there is a dark side to this trade, which needs to be stamped out namely sex slavery. It has long be known that woman and children have slipped into the UK only to find themselves sold into the sex industry by sex traffickers. The woman in this programme were all independent escorts working for themselves.

My Granny the Escorts is a frank, intimate and revealing portrait of three of woman who choose to sell sex from hotel rooms and their homes – and all completely legally. As well as topping up their pensions, all of these women seem to be enjoying themselves in their chosen and often new profession, but the film also questions how such a lifestyle can co-exist with their family lives and their roles as mothers and grandparents.

It was quite funny that the interviewee had to wait in the kitchen while Beverley, 64, nipped upstairs to have sex with a client to sounds of a squeaky bed. She looked happy in her skin and when asked if her encounter was enjoyable she smiled and said it was ‘nice really’. Beverley charges £50 for half hour and £90 for a full hour for a home calls while ‘out calls’ tend to cost more plus expenses. Her previous life before escorting could be found in a single suitcase and she has little contact with her children.

Sheila Vogel-Coupe, 85, is the grandmother of an X Factor finalist, Katie Waissel. She was outed as a sex worker during the show where upon it became a big news story in the tabloid press. She still has some contact with a few of her family members. Before her recent operation, she was seeing up to 10 men a week in what was described as ‘posh hotels’ location and is eager to get back into action. She charges £250 an hour, £2500 a week at her most active having only entered the business four year ago. She was happy to show the filmmaker a CD of her on the job that one of her clients filmed. Of the three, she was the hardest to watch with her looking so frail every bit the granny you would expect.

Sophie, 57, who had recently moved to an isolated rural community to work full time, wore a mask throughout but I would think there was enough clues for an eagle eyed neighbour to find out her line of work if they didn’t know. When she hit 50 and has she put it, ticked the box on a number of adventures like flying planes and taking up sword fighting the other thing she wanted to tick was sex so she became an escort.Her phone was constantly ring and business with very brisk some much so she has no time to change out of her work clothes.

The saddest sight must have been the clients/punters in the programme both made me feel they could connect with younger woman and they were more or likely have mummy issues.

Third striker signed by Solskjear

New Signing

The Bluebirds manager is moving fast in securing transfer targets ahead of next season by signing Reading striker Adam Le Fondre on a three year contract.

That means Cardiff City have now secured the services of three new strikers putting a doubt on last season’s failing strike force.

 According to reports, Fondre was a target of City boss Ole Gunnar Solskjear in January but a deadline day bid, was rejected. The 27-year-old striker could be surplus to requirements at the Madejski Stadium due to the uncertainty over the ownership of the club, However last season he still managed to score 15 league goals.

There were a number of other clubs interested in the striker but Cardiff stole a march on the rest jumping in quickly with an offer. An undisclosed fee was offered for the 27 year old, which was accepted leaving the Bluebirds open to talks to the striker, who had another year left on his contract with our Championship rivals.

The lifelong Manchester United fan, 27, is Solskjer's fourth summer signing and moments after completing the deal today, said: “It’s such a great opportunity for me to come here to Cardiff City and play for a boyhood hero of mine in Ole Gunnar Solskjær, it was a move I just couldn’t say no to.

“I’m delighted to be working with Ole and I can’t wait to get started. Scoring is what I’m about, I’ve often got into double figures during my career, although looking back at last season it’s one I really wanted to score more in personally.

“They are the high standards I set myself and now the aim is to do that with Cardiff City.”

The Manchester United connection

New Cardiff striker

Cardiff City boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer as made another deal to bring another unwanted Manchester United player to Cardiff with the arrival of Italian striker Federico Macheda.

Out of contract with the Premiership club, he is available on a free transfer on a three-year deal. It will be the second striker Solskjear has signed in under a week. Rumours kicked off over the weekend but it is official now after the player passed a medical. Macheda broke on the scene at Old Trafford 2008, scoring on is debut after coming on late into the second half and making his first start for United a few games later.

He failed to hold a first-team spot leading to loan deals in the UK and Europe. In 2011, he joined Sampdoria, followed by spells at QPR (2012), VFB Stuttgart (2013), Doncaster twice (2013/14) and last season Doncaster and Birmingham shared the striker his most successful season for goals scored, 13 in 33 games, ten of which he scored for Birmingham.

The 22-year-old strike is looking to relaunch his career with Cardiff who jumped in quickly secure his services. Macheda said on the club's official website: "It's a massive opportunity for me and it is with thanks to [manager] Ole Gunnar Solskjaer that I am here.

"He played a big part of my decision and I'm really looking forward to starting this season."

The quintessential soap hater

Timber

I hate the soap opera of today. I found a description which some’s it up for me ‘A drama, typically performed as a serial on daytime television, early evening or radio, characterised by stock characters and situations, sentimentality, and melodrama’. I do like some soap, the stuff you wash with.

Okay, I realise its TV and fictional, but there should be some element of reality! Do the writers think the viewing public are morons? Well many fans of this kind of TV are! I exclude my soap-loving wife from that statement about morons.

I do not even regard soaps as entertainment either. Well in my house, it leads to lots of arguments mainly with me taking the lead, which would be real entertainment for you because I can go off on one. I once banned a soap opera from our TV because I was so pissed-off. That was the now defunct Channel 4 soap Brookside. What I thought was a stupid story line, sent me off leading to the ban for a reason I have long forgotten. If it were possible, I would do the same with the bloody lot.

Tonight Tina (Coronation Street) is pushed to her death. However, her death will linger on for a number of episodes as they do in soap opera-land. In the soap opera murder league of the main three soaps, Coronation Street are lagging behind Emmerdale and EastEnders who got their murders in first.

No surprise about the winner

Happy or not we have a winner

Woke up this morning to a scary new Europe with the rise of the far right. In the UK, it was a night for UKIP in the European election with the main line parties blaming it down to a protest vote, but I’m not sure.

 

In the end, I voted Labour even though they were not giving me what I wanted a route out of Europe, but with the rise of UKIP it must be something they as a party must look into. The so called 'the people's army’ a popular saying of UKIP leader Nigel Farage has conjured up the biggest political earthquake in donkeys years, possibly ever.

 

The only good thing about tonight is the destruction of the sell-out party the Liberal Democrats who are trailing in fifth in Euro poll. It will mean little in the long run UKIP win there can’t do much in the European parliament like put the UK out. However, they can make a nuisance of themselves now being the largest UK party in the parliament.

 

Results in my area, Cardiff - Labour 24,999, UKIP 18,370, Tories 15,297, Greens 5,939, Liberal Democrats 5,454.

I suppose the general election next year will show how much UKIP have become a threat to the two main parties in British politics. I discard any thoughts on the Liberals being anything but a run of the mill player in next year’s election. Pundits and political analysers won’t have long to wait for a parliamentary election test with the Newark by-election next week, could UKIP get its first MP?

In the last general election UKIP at Newark, they only received 3.8% of the vote.

Solskjaer signs midfielder

Welcome

Cardiff City boss Ole Gunner Solskjaer is not letting the grass grow under foot making his second signing in as many days.

Cardiff have signed Austrian midfielder Guido Burgstaller for an undisclosed fee from Rapid Vienna. The 25-year-old Austrian international midfielder as signed a three-year deal on completion of this medical. Commenting on the deal Burgstaller said:

“My decision to join Cardiff City was never in question when the club first contacted me, it has always been a dream for me to play in this country. 

“I’ve followed Cardiff in the Premier League last season and I’m very proud and honoured to be given the chance to wear the Cardiff City jersey. I’m a big admirer of the passion of the fans here.”

Bellamy retires

Good luck to Craig Bellamy who has announced his retirement after a 17-year football career.

 

The announcement was expected so no great surprise amid reports that Cardiff City manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer was hoping he would commit to another season. He sighted the physical demands as the major reason for his retirement. The 34-year-old, will now spent the next year or so finishing off his coaching badges and spending his time visiting club to watch and learn.

"It's been on my mind to finish playing for the last couple of years, but this time I've had to make a decision. I've had to listen to my body," said Bellamy.  

"Usually, whenever I went into a new season I set myself a specific challenge. For last couple of years, that challenge was just to be able to get out there on the pitch and be able to play. 

"The time has come to stand aside and say enough."

Along with the offer of another season at the Cardiff City stadium, he received a number of offers from English clubs, as well as Europe and the MLS in the states.

 

Bellamy has played league football for Norwich, Coventry, Newcastle, Celtic, Blackburn, Liverpool, West Ham Manchester City, and Cardiff City plus loan spells with two of the clubs he went on to sign for Celtic and Cardiff City. Internationally he played for Wales under 21’s, the full national team, and Great Britain in the (London) Olympic Games.

New striker for Cardiff City

Cardiff City have made their first summer signing ahead of their return to the Championship with the signing of striker Javi Guerra from Real Valladolid.

The 32-year-old striker during his time with the Spanish club has stats of 72 goals in 149 appearances over a four-year spell, a healthy return so hopefully he can bring that goal scoring form to Cardiff City. It must be said that last season Cardiff’s strikers were a bit goal shy seeing main striker Frazier Campbell score a mere six league goals with midfielder Jordon Mutch top scorer with only seven.

 

Speaking on his arrival Guerra said,

"I am very thankful for the warm welcome I have received here at Cardiff City and am very excited for my new challenge in Wales.
"Hopefully I can keep up the level that I have been playing at in Spain for the last few seasons and that it will be a successful time for me in Cardiff, with both the club and the supporters."

Luxury sailing on Cardiff Bay

While down Cardiff Bay, I was admiring a rather attractive luxury motor yacht parked at the opposite landing dock thinking what millionaire was in town.

 

Therefore, I was shocked to be told it was for hire! It is a lottery dream for some people and would need a sizeable win to buy, but hired, it could be a dream for filled for an hour or so. It went straight on my bucket list after some research on the internet.

 

According to their website, you can hire this bit of rich and famous lifestyle for £300 for an hour and a half cruising round Cardiff Bay with up to twelve passengers. There are many other option with trips out of the bay onto the Bristol Channel available has you create your own package.

WEBSITE

Up and down the River Taff with Memories

Here come my ride

It is not so much a spur of the moment kind of thing as it’s been on my list of things to do for a while, get out of the house Peter, knocking off something off my bucket list and throwing in a visit to an old friend.

Most people who know me know I am very much a home bird happy to be shut away indoors. So today, I took the bus down to Cardiff Bay, deciding it was time to ride the waterbus and cross it off my bucket list. It was a fine day to mess about on the river with the sun out in force.

Arriving at the dock, I thought my luck was in as it looked like I would have the boat nearly all to myself. Then unexpected a horde of Spanish young people appeared and more a less filled the boat so my peaceful trip along the river Taff just took a major turn for the worst. It’s been many a year since I was on the river Taff, back in the late 70s when I was the proud owner of a two man rubber dingy not exactly a speedboat but fun anyway.

Home base

 I was going to buy a return ticket but owing to the youth on board, I made the decision to get off at Bute Park and wait for the next boat. It was the only thing to do. On the way up the Taff I noted that the Clarence Embankment water stop was close I was hoping to disembark there on the way back to visit a friend who live just around the corner.

It was lovely in Bute Park so I walked along the riverbank and found a bench and sat watching the ducks feed. The ducklings were funny as they snapped their beaks furiously at the water flies. When the boat returned thank god it was next to empty and there were only a few people boarding making the return trip to Mermaid Quay, which made for a much better journey back. Once back on dry land, I sat back and watched the beautiful day pass me by while partaking of a ham sandwich.

Now time to pop in on my old mate Gillian via a long walk down memory lane. A lot has changed on my old stomping ground of Rat Island but still I was looking through the eyes of my youth. The streets look much the same but old workshops are now flats and town house with all the brown land now covered in housing. It was a pleasure to be in Gillian’s company we reminisced about our childhood and our families, just a joyful time. It was actually the first time I had been in a house on Pomeroy Street since my family moved on mass from number 4 in the early 80’s and it felt so familiar. Has I walked to the bus stop I looked across to where my old home once stood and gave a bit of a sigh. I was seriously happy there even in my dark days.

Give me a real sandwich ... no mayo

Not my kind of sandwich

While digging around the internet you can come across the strangest of ideas that people come up with to try selling them to you and me. Cans are popular for crazy ideas, for putting something in them other than what you are expecting.

Sandwich in a Can is one of those ideas, yes in a can, an American idea, which I hope will stay on the American side of the pond. The can contains a hot dog sized bun, reputed to be made from a special military developed formulation that allows it to stay sweet, soft, and fresh for over a year. Will that be something we see on the shelves of our supermarkets one day soon, bread that could stay fresh for a year? Food for the poor while the rich shop at artisan bakeries for fresh daily bread. Also in the can is individual packets of peanut butter and jelly along with a little sweet for dessert.

All I can think is why would anyone buy or let alone eat one of these just how desperate would you have to be to contemplate eating a sandwich from a can. It will be very unlikely I will ever taste one even if they were on sale in the UK I did a quick google search and found a review below,

If you’ve had a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, it should be pretty easy to imagine eating a Candwich: Just envision that sandwich, but made using a hot-dog bun that’s been sitting out for a couple hours. The bread is the real problem here: It’s soft but not moist, with a chemically induced freshness that makes it seem stale when it isn’t. It disintegrates easily, which means lots of bread crumbs mixed in with your smooth PB&J mélange. The ratio of bread to filling is also off, resulting in a lot of subpar bread and not enough ooey-gooey filling. It’s not a bad sandwich, per se, but when dealing with a sandwich as idiot-proof as the PB&J, any flaws seem much more glaring.

It doesn’t sound inviting even if you were fancying giving it a go.

Riverside Market - Shop Local

Riverside Sunday market 10am until 2pm

It was a beautiful Sunday morning so we decided to take a wander down to Riverside Market on the banks of the River Taff.

It’s on my bucket list and seeing it is under a mile from my house it’s about time, we became acquainted. The market has been running since November 1998, building steadily until today with three other markets across Cardiff.

It was a bit small then I expected to be but interesting anyway. The goal of the market is local food, sold directly by producers in your neighbourhood, without it costing the earth! It was an interesting array of stalls and friendly owners. I myself being limited with my food tastes, meaning boring, but likes looking at food could see what was on offer looked scrumptious and inviting. Much is homemade, the cakes, bread and other things I particularly liked the meat stalls and there were a few but the cost of some things was eye watering.

However, you are paying for the providence of the meat, quality, and traceability with people will to pay for that. We walked away with some carrot cake and some homemade pear drink both of which will be consumed by the wife while I had a walk. There was a fair crowd milling round but not too busy to bother the wife in her wheelchair as she could easily get close to the stalls.