My Porch .... A Memory

When I was a kid, we had a porch and it was like a little den to me. The porch had a plain red tiled floor, tiled with a mix of brightly colour tiles either side to about half way up the wall. The walls above the tiles was old and tired looking with peeling paint but it was still a cool place.

I remember sitting on the doorstep watching the rainfall, or the birds feeding on some stale bread I’d threw out onto the road. Sometimes I would sneak some fresh bread just so I could sit and watch the birds keeping it secret from mum who would be none too happy I was wasting bread. On a sunny day, it was a cool place to sit if there was no direct sunlight shining through the doorway as the tiles would feel cold.

There would be empty milk bottles piling up ready for the early morning arrival of the milkman to take them away. It was known for me to smash the odd bottle and I would be sure to tell mum it was an accident. In the morning, the milk would be there in the porch and hopefully the birds had got to ready for breakfast and I would normally have Weetabix with milk and hot water.

My mum would wash the porch and if it were wet, you would have to jump over it with a run and jump like Lynn (the leap) Davies when he won the Olympic gold medal in Tokyo in 1964. I like to sit there and make dad clamber over me. He would smile in his baggy blue works overalls, always baggy has he was the slightest of dads but with a beautiful heart. Over would go a steel toe boot followed by the other one carefully missing my young head.

Friends would gather in my little porch to chat, plan, and just hangout. Once my porch conspired to get me four of the best, (the cane) when a little ditty was laid at my door. The song ‘Hitler he’s only got one ball’ was attributed to me when in fact it was told to me while sitting in my poach. It was taken into the schoolyard where upon the blame for bring the song into school was put around my neck hence four of the best. By the away, I was about 8/9 years-old.

Porches on the whole have disappeared now behind outer doors or some tacky plastic extension, which is a real shame.

TV review … My Granny the Escort

My granny the escort - Beverley, 64

I sat back last night to watch Channel Fours latest dip into the sex trade ‘My Granny the Escort’ with a tad bit of pervy interest. I have no sex hang-ups or problems with prostitution/escorting each to their own in my book, but why watch if you feel uneasy about the subject, you can guarantee the channel received complains.

I know one person lapping it up Iain Duncan Smith, Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, who not content with sending the long-term unemployed out to work to earn their benefits, would surely be rubbing his hands having come up with a new idea to reduce the countries pension’s problems. An army of granny hookers taking the strain off the countries pension bill.

It was a full on programme and the old dears were happy to revealing their stories of sex for money, which is completely legal by the way if you work alone. Surprisingly the three mature escorts/older women featured in the programme work with their families’ knowledge with various degrees of support. They all said they were happy in the work and like sex, which is the bog standard reply for most sex workers who choose that line of work. I think I believe them, these three anyway.

Their clients are men of all ages, sometimes as young as 20, but what is the motivation behind some men’s desire to have sex with older women? Although I said earlier, I was ok with prostitution there is a dark side to this trade, which needs to be stamped out namely sex slavery. It has long be known that woman and children have slipped into the UK only to find themselves sold into the sex industry by sex traffickers. The woman in this programme were all independent escorts working for themselves.

My Granny the Escorts is a frank, intimate and revealing portrait of three of woman who choose to sell sex from hotel rooms and their homes – and all completely legally. As well as topping up their pensions, all of these women seem to be enjoying themselves in their chosen and often new profession, but the film also questions how such a lifestyle can co-exist with their family lives and their roles as mothers and grandparents.

It was quite funny that the interviewee had to wait in the kitchen while Beverley, 64, nipped upstairs to have sex with a client to sounds of a squeaky bed. She looked happy in her skin and when asked if her encounter was enjoyable she smiled and said it was ‘nice really’. Beverley charges £50 for half hour and £90 for a full hour for a home calls while ‘out calls’ tend to cost more plus expenses. Her previous life before escorting could be found in a single suitcase and she has little contact with her children.

Sheila Vogel-Coupe, 85, is the grandmother of an X Factor finalist, Katie Waissel. She was outed as a sex worker during the show where upon it became a big news story in the tabloid press. She still has some contact with a few of her family members. Before her recent operation, she was seeing up to 10 men a week in what was described as ‘posh hotels’ location and is eager to get back into action. She charges £250 an hour, £2500 a week at her most active having only entered the business four year ago. She was happy to show the filmmaker a CD of her on the job that one of her clients filmed. Of the three, she was the hardest to watch with her looking so frail every bit the granny you would expect.

Sophie, 57, who had recently moved to an isolated rural community to work full time, wore a mask throughout but I would think there was enough clues for an eagle eyed neighbour to find out her line of work if they didn’t know. When she hit 50 and has she put it, ticked the box on a number of adventures like flying planes and taking up sword fighting the other thing she wanted to tick was sex so she became an escort.Her phone was constantly ring and business with very brisk some much so she has no time to change out of her work clothes.

The saddest sight must have been the clients/punters in the programme both made me feel they could connect with younger woman and they were more or likely have mummy issues.

Third striker signed by Solskjear

New Signing

The Bluebirds manager is moving fast in securing transfer targets ahead of next season by signing Reading striker Adam Le Fondre on a three year contract.

That means Cardiff City have now secured the services of three new strikers putting a doubt on last season’s failing strike force.

 According to reports, Fondre was a target of City boss Ole Gunnar Solskjear in January but a deadline day bid, was rejected. The 27-year-old striker could be surplus to requirements at the Madejski Stadium due to the uncertainty over the ownership of the club, However last season he still managed to score 15 league goals.

There were a number of other clubs interested in the striker but Cardiff stole a march on the rest jumping in quickly with an offer. An undisclosed fee was offered for the 27 year old, which was accepted leaving the Bluebirds open to talks to the striker, who had another year left on his contract with our Championship rivals.

The lifelong Manchester United fan, 27, is Solskjer's fourth summer signing and moments after completing the deal today, said: “It’s such a great opportunity for me to come here to Cardiff City and play for a boyhood hero of mine in Ole Gunnar Solskjær, it was a move I just couldn’t say no to.

“I’m delighted to be working with Ole and I can’t wait to get started. Scoring is what I’m about, I’ve often got into double figures during my career, although looking back at last season it’s one I really wanted to score more in personally.

“They are the high standards I set myself and now the aim is to do that with Cardiff City.”

The Manchester United connection

New Cardiff striker

Cardiff City boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer as made another deal to bring another unwanted Manchester United player to Cardiff with the arrival of Italian striker Federico Macheda.

Out of contract with the Premiership club, he is available on a free transfer on a three-year deal. It will be the second striker Solskjear has signed in under a week. Rumours kicked off over the weekend but it is official now after the player passed a medical. Macheda broke on the scene at Old Trafford 2008, scoring on is debut after coming on late into the second half and making his first start for United a few games later.

He failed to hold a first-team spot leading to loan deals in the UK and Europe. In 2011, he joined Sampdoria, followed by spells at QPR (2012), VFB Stuttgart (2013), Doncaster twice (2013/14) and last season Doncaster and Birmingham shared the striker his most successful season for goals scored, 13 in 33 games, ten of which he scored for Birmingham.

The 22-year-old strike is looking to relaunch his career with Cardiff who jumped in quickly secure his services. Macheda said on the club's official website: "It's a massive opportunity for me and it is with thanks to [manager] Ole Gunnar Solskjaer that I am here.

"He played a big part of my decision and I'm really looking forward to starting this season."

The quintessential soap hater

Timber

I hate the soap opera of today. I found a description which some’s it up for me ‘A drama, typically performed as a serial on daytime television, early evening or radio, characterised by stock characters and situations, sentimentality, and melodrama’. I do like some soap, the stuff you wash with.

Okay, I realise its TV and fictional, but there should be some element of reality! Do the writers think the viewing public are morons? Well many fans of this kind of TV are! I exclude my soap-loving wife from that statement about morons.

I do not even regard soaps as entertainment either. Well in my house, it leads to lots of arguments mainly with me taking the lead, which would be real entertainment for you because I can go off on one. I once banned a soap opera from our TV because I was so pissed-off. That was the now defunct Channel 4 soap Brookside. What I thought was a stupid story line, sent me off leading to the ban for a reason I have long forgotten. If it were possible, I would do the same with the bloody lot.

Tonight Tina (Coronation Street) is pushed to her death. However, her death will linger on for a number of episodes as they do in soap opera-land. In the soap opera murder league of the main three soaps, Coronation Street are lagging behind Emmerdale and EastEnders who got their murders in first.

No surprise about the winner

Happy or not we have a winner

Woke up this morning to a scary new Europe with the rise of the far right. In the UK, it was a night for UKIP in the European election with the main line parties blaming it down to a protest vote, but I’m not sure.

 

In the end, I voted Labour even though they were not giving me what I wanted a route out of Europe, but with the rise of UKIP it must be something they as a party must look into. The so called 'the people's army’ a popular saying of UKIP leader Nigel Farage has conjured up the biggest political earthquake in donkeys years, possibly ever.

 

The only good thing about tonight is the destruction of the sell-out party the Liberal Democrats who are trailing in fifth in Euro poll. It will mean little in the long run UKIP win there can’t do much in the European parliament like put the UK out. However, they can make a nuisance of themselves now being the largest UK party in the parliament.

 

Results in my area, Cardiff - Labour 24,999, UKIP 18,370, Tories 15,297, Greens 5,939, Liberal Democrats 5,454.

I suppose the general election next year will show how much UKIP have become a threat to the two main parties in British politics. I discard any thoughts on the Liberals being anything but a run of the mill player in next year’s election. Pundits and political analysers won’t have long to wait for a parliamentary election test with the Newark by-election next week, could UKIP get its first MP?

In the last general election UKIP at Newark, they only received 3.8% of the vote.

Solskjaer signs midfielder

Welcome

Cardiff City boss Ole Gunner Solskjaer is not letting the grass grow under foot making his second signing in as many days.

Cardiff have signed Austrian midfielder Guido Burgstaller for an undisclosed fee from Rapid Vienna. The 25-year-old Austrian international midfielder as signed a three-year deal on completion of this medical. Commenting on the deal Burgstaller said:

“My decision to join Cardiff City was never in question when the club first contacted me, it has always been a dream for me to play in this country. 

“I’ve followed Cardiff in the Premier League last season and I’m very proud and honoured to be given the chance to wear the Cardiff City jersey. I’m a big admirer of the passion of the fans here.”

Bellamy retires

Good luck to Craig Bellamy who has announced his retirement after a 17-year football career.

 

The announcement was expected so no great surprise amid reports that Cardiff City manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer was hoping he would commit to another season. He sighted the physical demands as the major reason for his retirement. The 34-year-old, will now spent the next year or so finishing off his coaching badges and spending his time visiting club to watch and learn.

"It's been on my mind to finish playing for the last couple of years, but this time I've had to make a decision. I've had to listen to my body," said Bellamy.  

"Usually, whenever I went into a new season I set myself a specific challenge. For last couple of years, that challenge was just to be able to get out there on the pitch and be able to play. 

"The time has come to stand aside and say enough."

Along with the offer of another season at the Cardiff City stadium, he received a number of offers from English clubs, as well as Europe and the MLS in the states.

 

Bellamy has played league football for Norwich, Coventry, Newcastle, Celtic, Blackburn, Liverpool, West Ham Manchester City, and Cardiff City plus loan spells with two of the clubs he went on to sign for Celtic and Cardiff City. Internationally he played for Wales under 21’s, the full national team, and Great Britain in the (London) Olympic Games.

New striker for Cardiff City

Cardiff City have made their first summer signing ahead of their return to the Championship with the signing of striker Javi Guerra from Real Valladolid.

The 32-year-old striker during his time with the Spanish club has stats of 72 goals in 149 appearances over a four-year spell, a healthy return so hopefully he can bring that goal scoring form to Cardiff City. It must be said that last season Cardiff’s strikers were a bit goal shy seeing main striker Frazier Campbell score a mere six league goals with midfielder Jordon Mutch top scorer with only seven.

 

Speaking on his arrival Guerra said,

"I am very thankful for the warm welcome I have received here at Cardiff City and am very excited for my new challenge in Wales.
"Hopefully I can keep up the level that I have been playing at in Spain for the last few seasons and that it will be a successful time for me in Cardiff, with both the club and the supporters."

Luxury sailing on Cardiff Bay

While down Cardiff Bay, I was admiring a rather attractive luxury motor yacht parked at the opposite landing dock thinking what millionaire was in town.

 

Therefore, I was shocked to be told it was for hire! It is a lottery dream for some people and would need a sizeable win to buy, but hired, it could be a dream for filled for an hour or so. It went straight on my bucket list after some research on the internet.

 

According to their website, you can hire this bit of rich and famous lifestyle for £300 for an hour and a half cruising round Cardiff Bay with up to twelve passengers. There are many other option with trips out of the bay onto the Bristol Channel available has you create your own package.

WEBSITE

Up and down the River Taff with Memories

Here come my ride

It is not so much a spur of the moment kind of thing as it’s been on my list of things to do for a while, get out of the house Peter, knocking off something off my bucket list and throwing in a visit to an old friend.

Most people who know me know I am very much a home bird happy to be shut away indoors. So today, I took the bus down to Cardiff Bay, deciding it was time to ride the waterbus and cross it off my bucket list. It was a fine day to mess about on the river with the sun out in force.

Arriving at the dock, I thought my luck was in as it looked like I would have the boat nearly all to myself. Then unexpected a horde of Spanish young people appeared and more a less filled the boat so my peaceful trip along the river Taff just took a major turn for the worst. It’s been many a year since I was on the river Taff, back in the late 70s when I was the proud owner of a two man rubber dingy not exactly a speedboat but fun anyway.

Home base

 I was going to buy a return ticket but owing to the youth on board, I made the decision to get off at Bute Park and wait for the next boat. It was the only thing to do. On the way up the Taff I noted that the Clarence Embankment water stop was close I was hoping to disembark there on the way back to visit a friend who live just around the corner.

It was lovely in Bute Park so I walked along the riverbank and found a bench and sat watching the ducks feed. The ducklings were funny as they snapped their beaks furiously at the water flies. When the boat returned thank god it was next to empty and there were only a few people boarding making the return trip to Mermaid Quay, which made for a much better journey back. Once back on dry land, I sat back and watched the beautiful day pass me by while partaking of a ham sandwich.

Now time to pop in on my old mate Gillian via a long walk down memory lane. A lot has changed on my old stomping ground of Rat Island but still I was looking through the eyes of my youth. The streets look much the same but old workshops are now flats and town house with all the brown land now covered in housing. It was a pleasure to be in Gillian’s company we reminisced about our childhood and our families, just a joyful time. It was actually the first time I had been in a house on Pomeroy Street since my family moved on mass from number 4 in the early 80’s and it felt so familiar. Has I walked to the bus stop I looked across to where my old home once stood and gave a bit of a sigh. I was seriously happy there even in my dark days.

Give me a real sandwich ... no mayo

Not my kind of sandwich

While digging around the internet you can come across the strangest of ideas that people come up with to try selling them to you and me. Cans are popular for crazy ideas, for putting something in them other than what you are expecting.

Sandwich in a Can is one of those ideas, yes in a can, an American idea, which I hope will stay on the American side of the pond. The can contains a hot dog sized bun, reputed to be made from a special military developed formulation that allows it to stay sweet, soft, and fresh for over a year. Will that be something we see on the shelves of our supermarkets one day soon, bread that could stay fresh for a year? Food for the poor while the rich shop at artisan bakeries for fresh daily bread. Also in the can is individual packets of peanut butter and jelly along with a little sweet for dessert.

All I can think is why would anyone buy or let alone eat one of these just how desperate would you have to be to contemplate eating a sandwich from a can. It will be very unlikely I will ever taste one even if they were on sale in the UK I did a quick google search and found a review below,

If you’ve had a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, it should be pretty easy to imagine eating a Candwich: Just envision that sandwich, but made using a hot-dog bun that’s been sitting out for a couple hours. The bread is the real problem here: It’s soft but not moist, with a chemically induced freshness that makes it seem stale when it isn’t. It disintegrates easily, which means lots of bread crumbs mixed in with your smooth PB&J mélange. The ratio of bread to filling is also off, resulting in a lot of subpar bread and not enough ooey-gooey filling. It’s not a bad sandwich, per se, but when dealing with a sandwich as idiot-proof as the PB&J, any flaws seem much more glaring.

It doesn’t sound inviting even if you were fancying giving it a go.

Riverside Market - Shop Local

Riverside Sunday market 10am until 2pm

It was a beautiful Sunday morning so we decided to take a wander down to Riverside Market on the banks of the River Taff.

It’s on my bucket list and seeing it is under a mile from my house it’s about time, we became acquainted. The market has been running since November 1998, building steadily until today with three other markets across Cardiff.

It was a bit small then I expected to be but interesting anyway. The goal of the market is local food, sold directly by producers in your neighbourhood, without it costing the earth! It was an interesting array of stalls and friendly owners. I myself being limited with my food tastes, meaning boring, but likes looking at food could see what was on offer looked scrumptious and inviting. Much is homemade, the cakes, bread and other things I particularly liked the meat stalls and there were a few but the cost of some things was eye watering.

However, you are paying for the providence of the meat, quality, and traceability with people will to pay for that. We walked away with some carrot cake and some homemade pear drink both of which will be consumed by the wife while I had a walk. There was a fair crowd milling round but not too busy to bother the wife in her wheelchair as she could easily get close to the stalls.

No mayo, please

Why do shop bought sandwiches have mayo instead of butter or margarine?

Trying to find a shop bought sandwich without mayo these days is a nightmare, the non-mayo sandwich has become a bit of a rarity. In supermarkets there is just the odd one line, normally ham and if you are lucky a chicken sarnie option.

Who made mayo the new margarine/butter? I can remember a time when a mayo in a sandwich was as rare as a dodo and they are extinct. However, unlikely the dodo the mayo sandwich is every much here. In some boardroom, somewhere a decision was made to make my life hell and turn me into a hunter for my favourite lunchtime snack. It must be down to price with a 10ltr tub of mayo, £12.99, a lot cheaper than margarine and butter so you can see how the moneymen and buyers were thinking of the profit line.

I am pretty safe in my hometown but if I were to go abroad, say the next town or city I would be stumped and probably in a land of mayo sarnies.

If mayo was so popular, why do the non-mayo sandwiches sell out so quickly? Tesco for instants today all the non-mayo sold out but there were acres of the mayo ones left most of which can be picked up for less than half price before the shop closes later today.

As for outside the big stores in the likes of Greggs and other chain bakeries mayo is king. Everywhere you look you can see the stuff oozing out from all kinds of sandwiches and baguettes and god behold if you ask if they have any without you get the look that makes you feel like a mass murderer. If you ask if you can make up one they will happily say ok until you say no mayo and all of sudden the whole atmosphere changes. It now becomes a chore and nine times out of ten, there is no margarine.

Moreover, what has happened to corner shops? The ones around by me are all mayo, no choice. If I don’t have the makings for a sandwich at home, I am now stuck.

In Cardiff thank god for Brutons the bakers, a bastion for the non-mayo sandwich fan with a good choice offer and willing to make one if they sold out. In addition, Cardiff market is another place at welcomes the mayo haters with an abundance of sandwiches to choose from and fillings. There are small sandwich shops that make you up a sarnie and will offer you the option of either and any other spread they may have.

My TV guilty pleasure

I enjoy watching TV and watch a lot. When I was a kid the radio was always on in the background in our house and today it’s the same with the television. I may not be watching it as I type this but Gold Rush is on so you could say I am semi watching it, cherry picking what interests me as I write.

I like so many random shows, a real diverse bunch, covering many different subject’s with the only criteria being I must feel entertained. Nevertheless, there are shows that my friends would think I would never watch but secretly I would. Normally I am all blood and guts, zombie and vampire so these three examples sound way off my radar.

Sunday entertainment

Countryfile, yes there is nothing better than spending an hour on a Sunday evening in the company of the country loving folk. Danny Dyer, known for years as a "hardman" actor, has admitted he is also a fan of Countryfile and we are not alone with the BBC show attracting healthy viewing figures for years. I am that old I can remember when it was broadcast on a Sunday afternoon.

I don’t know why I like the show because I’m not a fan of farm animals and never wanted to be a farmer, it’s beyond me. Maybe the countryside itself attracts my interest and stories about rural living. I would like to live in a village but it would need a pub, shop/post office, a takeaway, a good transport link and most important … top notch broadband.

I watch this in a darkened room with the door locked

I am a sucker for reality shows and wait for it …. a closet fan of the Real Housewives franchise. Yes I am out but not proud but the pure voyeurism is ruddy addictive.

Looking into the wealthy lives of these housewives, as they shop, get boob jobs, other plastic surgery, gossip, fight and live lavishly with their joke families were the husbands are treated as banks. They are all worried about losing their life styles than their husbands and have laws on standby just in case.

Never happen again

The internet is awash with old stuff from my childhood that today would not be suffered lightly by the PC brigade. Like Love thy Neighbour deem politically incorrect and a guilty pleasure now. For those who never her of the sitcom it dates back to 1972 until the late 70s.

The two main characters is socialist Eddie Booth is outraged to discover that his new neighbour, Bill Reynolds, is black, and a Tory. The racially motivated antagonism between them was stretched out into eight series and a feature film, while their wives struggled to create harmony.

You won't see this repeated on TV in this day and age

Voting Dilemma

My postal vote for the up-coming European elections in a few weeks has arrived and it’s given me a bit of a dilemma. Ever since this country joined the European Union in 1973, I have never fully accepted the whole European Union thing. I suppose back in 73 it was strange for a 13-year-old to have an interest in politics but I did. I enjoyed such programmes as Panorama and Week in Week Out giving me a strong interest in politics and social justice for the people of this country.

The only way I knew who mum and dad were voting for was by the poster in the window, we never talked politics in the house, nor with my friends whose only interest was in the free balloons and stickers election time. I knew I was a Socialist and the Labour party was my home but always had moderate views, which I still hold today.

However, on some highly motivated subjects I can be more right wing than Genghis Khan, which are hard to come to terms with being a socialist sometimes.

I think you can tell where this is going! As no party is giving me what I want but UKIP, yes UKIP who are offering a straight pull out option. So technically my only options with my strong beliefs is to vote UKIP to leave the European Union. It’s the best way to register a vote to show the main parties to wake up and listen, a protest vote. I always vote and see it as my duty as a British citizen, if you don’t then you have no right to complain about Government or local government plans if you don’t agree with them.

I could spoil my vote but I don’t see the point. It you don’t vote your vote is still counted as it is believed you are content with the status-quo. The Tories have a wishy-washy option to offer a referendum, which they may or may not call for and anyway I could never put my mark against a Tory.

The dilemma is can I vote for UKIP on this vote only and still feel clean. There are eleven parties to choose from in my area but most are from either the far right or left and I put UKIP in the far right side of the fence.

Update … I have made my mark, my vote is ready to post, and in the end, I decided not to vote UKIP but Labour it was really a last minute thing. I still want out of Europe but will have to wait for a simply yes or no vote if there is ever one.

To late but three points would be nice

Cardiff City play Chelsea this Sunday the last Premier League game for how long who knows, but a return is needed sooner rather than later. It would be nice to end the season a win an especially at Cardiff City stadium they for been few and far between this season.

The first home game of the season was a fantastic opening win over champions elect Manchester City 3-2, a bit of a false dawn in reality seeing how the season panned out for the Bluebirds. Chelsea season end on a bit of a downer but nowhere is critical has the Bluebirds.

While Cardiff wave goodbye to the Premier League the Londoners can bask in their disappointment of finishing third, possibly second if they win Sunday and Liverpool lose, what a disappointing season for them. Its Premiership and Champions League football for them next season while we can only dream of a quick promotion.

The pundits and other fans didn’t like the Chelsea way but look where they will finish. I can only wish we could have parked a couple of buses a few times maybe we could have survived. However, without the ability to score enough goals it would have been for nothing. The other downer about the fixture is the potential for trouble with reports local police will be out in force Saturday night and Sunday before and after the game. Hopefully the game will go ahead without any trouble.

Eurovision ... Love it or Hate it

Hooray, the Eurovision Song Contest is back on our screens with the cheesy songs, tacky outfits, outrageous performers, and as for some of the dance routines ‘can you be serious’, but I love it .

 

I'm not a fan of the semi-finals part of the progress but they are needed because there are just too many countries to have them all on the main night. It would be a big deal in our house growing up, still with me today. Maybe the wife’s interest will be sparked a little but there will be absolutely no interest from my boys, so no party night here unless I fork out for a family takeaway, not happening.

 

As a youngster, we would sit around as a family watching the TV ready to pick our winner after hearing the songs, no previews back then. My patriotic leanings meant I would always be in the corner of the UK no matter the song but always have a reserve just in case. You couldn’t always depend on a British competitor. It was the same with beauty contest like Miss UK or Miss World before the feminist and PC brigade high profile campaign to rid TV of this cattle market as they called it. However, as a family we enjoyed both of the final nights

 

Our Molly

I have not checked out the songs for this year show having decided to go old school to hear them for the first time on the night. I have heard the UK entrant song, and from reports has been well received by the people in the know and it shows in the betting odds now third favourite to win. That is until the voting kicks in Saturday and the old comrades packed comes into play. In recent years, a succession of well-established UK acts have failed to set the Eurovision scoreboard alight. Therefore, this time they are throwing in a complete unknown to the majority of the British public, Molly Smitten-Downes. The singer is currently third favourite to win on Saturday with her power balled Children of the Universe.

 

If the music is not to your taste then the comedy show that is the voting will get you going, hopping mad more likely and generating a lot of heated discussion.

 

Rumour has it Australia could be entering the competition in 2015. Can it still be the Eurovision Song Contest? The organisers invited an Australian singer Jessica Mauboy to sing at the semi-final interval, the first time the honour had been given to a country outside Europe. The whole Eurovision thing is highly popular in Australia pulling in a large TV audience.

 

Every year there is something controversial ahead of the final broadcast, it could be countries or some singer/group this year there is a bit of both. With Russia parked on the border with the Ukraine and war on the cards, the normal eastern bloc voting packed could be broken. These two regularly give each other high marks and have both reached the final, should be interesting. Maybe Ukraine will give Russia ’12 points’ hoping it will reduce tensions between the two. Could Russia be the new UK? After the Iraqi war, there seemed to be a major drop in support from other countries who would normally give votes to the UK. Since the year of the war in 2003, the votes for the UK have somewhat disappeared. That year the UK entrant, Jemini failed to register a single vote.

The bearded one

 

This years most talked about competitor is Austria’s entry, Conchita Wurst, see photo for why. Drag/Cross-dressing is nothing new to Eurovision or particularly controversial has a transsexual singer from Israel won the competition in 1998. I have to say the beard I find a bit off putting but hey, it’s nothing to do with me. Although some groups have called for the performance to be censored one Russian politician, Vitaly Milonov described Eurovision as a ‘Europe-wide gay parade’.

 

The whole show kicks off tomorrow at 8pm with a finishing time of 11:25pm but I normally runs over a bit. Graham Norton will be on hand to keep us company with his trademark dry humour and his observations.

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Comic memory

Saw a news report this morning about comics that got my memory juices overflowing which is no means feat these days, as my youth seems to be more important to me than ever before.

Desperate Dan

I was a big fan of most boys own comics the like of The Valiant, The Victor and others, anything surrounding war got my attention. However, mum put an order with the local shop for two comics more suitable for a young mind. I got the Beezer and the Topper while my brother got the Beano and Danny. I never knew why we had which one but that’s the way it was but we were always willing to share.

I lucked out with my comics the Beano and Dandy had some of my favourite characters, in the Danny was Desperate Dan one of my all-time favourites. I never had a cow pie well I suppose I have but never with two horns sticking out of the pie and a tail dangling out of the side. The Beano was stacked with ionic characters that I like such as Dennis the Menace, Minnie the Minx, The Bash Street Kids, Roger the Dodger, Billy Whizz and General Jumbo who I fantasised about being has a kid.

General Peter in my dreams

Alfie (Jumbo) Johnson, age 13, oh how I dreamt of being him and a general of a whole miniature army. It was not just any old army, I had many tiny soldiers but his were remote controlled, they could shoot tiny bullets and he also controlled ships and aircraft along with soldiers and vehicles such as tanks.

He controlled his troops with a wrist-mounted radio control panel and when we were in Woolworths (advertised has the shop that sold everything) I would always keep an eye out for one of the wrist controls maybe that is what I needed for my soldiers. The innocents of a childhood in the days of wind-up toys. I would also need a professor like Jumbo. He would make the models and new upgrades and like Jumbo, I would be the scourge of local small-time crooks and bullies.

Relegation … Been there got the T-shirt

The face of relegation

Honestly, I am not shocked with relegation I always knew it was on the cards but I wish it wasn’t.

It’s tough on teams coming up from the Championship into the Premier League has records from previous seasons show most will find themselves rooted in the bottom half of the League table. Of the three teams promoted last season only Cardiff are returning to the Championship after going up as champions. Hull and Crystal Palace live to fight another season with the big boys but chances are they will be struggling along with todays promoted teams next season.

Cardiff City fans haven’t had to stomach the heartache of relegation since the 1999/2000 season. There was a few similarities with that season and this, two managers, Frank Burrows/Billy Ayre back then. In addition, there was a shocking inability to score goals back then with Jason Bowen, top scorer with 12-league goals while this season Jordon Mutch is leading the league goal tally with a meagre seven with a game to go.

We were just not good enough this time and it’s not worth throwing blame about its time to suck it up and think about next season. We will be red next season unless we get a new owner who can understand football, its fans, and history. The best protest is to wear blue and boycott the red merchandise letting Tan feel the pain in the balance book. Fans will be thinking what if, Malky stayed, if we beat them, got a point there, but that’s all history now the future is next season and what we need to concentrate on. Will Tan up sticks and leave us in a financial mess? Do I care! no really with or without in Cardiff will always live on.

Could be one of the more interesting in summers. We could see some major changes to the present squad as the wage bill could come into play with the club looking to reduce it.

We collect £26million in parachute payment but not a patch on the £60million+ in TV rights, the club collected this season. What kind of transfer fund will be made available to Solskjaer who is expected to be manager for the first game back in the Championship? With promotion, by no means guaranteed next season Cardiff are in for a tough campaign along with Fulham and Norwich likely to be third candidates.

The bookies and football pundits are likely to make the three favourites to go straight back up to the premiership but its not that easy.

Norton v Carr and Ross

Just seen an ad for Graham Norton Show tonight and can’t wait it looks fun. It must be the best talk show on TV compared with the competition.

He always seems to have the better guests like tonight he has Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, and Michael Fassbender the stars of the new X-Man film. The music might be weak this week with the UK hopeful for the Eurovision Song Contest but still an ace line-up.

The Friday night competition from channel Fours Chatty Man with Alan Carr I by book the most annoying chat show presenter in the UK. Is normal line up on the coach is Z listers and TV reality stars, if you can call them stars.

His show tonight consist of Paloma Faith, who chats and sings Only Love Can Hurt Like This, chef Heston Blumenthal and comedians: Frank Skinner and Cardinal Burns whoever the hell he is or what. Anyway, I don’t do religion. Jonathan Ross and his ITV show normally gets Norton’s leftovers and he was better on the BBC anyway.

I no which one I will be viewing today.

Last chance saloon for the Bluebirds

Cardiff City fans make another trip to the North East to visit Sunderland’s neighbours and rivals Newcastle. Travelling fans can have a bit of a lie in with a more respectable kick-off time of 3pm compared with mid-day last weekend.

 

It’s not impossible for Cardiff to escape relegation if they beat Newcastle tomorrow and Chelsea the following weekend at the Cardiff City stadium. Six points would see Cardiff safe. Even three points could work if Sunderland and Norwich were to lose their final games. It all depends on other results going our way making it not a happy place for any fan to be.

 

The current form of both teams (last six games) shows Cardiff have managed 5 points compared to Newcastle who have failed to register a single point.

 

A good omen for this critical clash for the Welshman while Newcastle bask in mid-table security. They might be safe for another season in the Premier League but the fans are not happy with the owner and manager, sounds familiar but for the manager bit. They, the fans, plan to protest during the game tomorrow with a mass walkout on the 60th minute while Cardiff fans are expected to hold their ongoing protest on the 19:27 minute with the ‘We will always be BLUE’ chant. Be interested to see if it happens, with the walkout.

 

That is the politics out of the way so what about team news. Well there has been no reported problems leaving Cardiff boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer plenty of options. Of course that doesn’t include the Spaniard Juan Cala who was charged with improper conduct by the FA following the red card that he received at Sunderland. It would seem that relegation or not Solskjaer would be the manager of the Bluebirds next season.

 

Meanwhile at Newcastle manager Alan Pardew will have striker Luuk de Jong available for the Cardiff clash.

Porn for Trees

Classy

A story I came across today in the press gave me a chuckle. The article was regarding Pornhub, for those who don’t know what it is; it’s a pornography internet-streaming site.

In America, ‘Arbor Day’ is a national holiday that I have never heard of before. After some quick research, it showed it was a day that encourages people to plant and care for trees. The stunt from Pornhub, entitled “Pornhub Gives America Wood” is announcing that it will plant a new tree for every 100 videos viewed has been running since April 25th and has produced more than 13,000 trees. 13,000!

It only seems fair Pornhub have come up with this initiative seeing has the site is responsible for the decimation of a great number of trees with the amount of tissue paper used by their clientele.

In a statement they said, "This Arbor Day Pornhub will do what it does best and give America some serious wood by donating 1 tree for ever 100 videos viewed in our Big Dick category. The more videos that are viewed, the more trees we will plant!”