I wasn’t going to write on the subject of Celebrity Island but the comic value of the celebrities was just too much to ignore and the first inmate left the Island. It took up from last week with no food, fire or shelter but plenty of squabbling.
The opening of yesterday’s episode it was night and they were standing about in the pouring rain freezing their asses off, moaning. I commented to the wife the kids from ‘The Secret Life of 4, 5, and 6 Year Olds’ could do better than this shower. They could had fire, food, and luxury accommodation within 24hours.
The lack of ‘mans red fire’ and the lack of ability of making it was the main topic of conversation and in the end Bear sent in his survival unit who held the islanders hands leading them towards fire. Cheating I would call it what a bunch of spoilsports. So did U.S actor R. J. Mitte, from Breaking Bad. R. J., who has cerebral palsy, was looking for the experience so he decided to leave the island before leaving he had made a number of shelters to keep the islanders somewhat dry. That least he tapped out on principle.
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| Kill, kill, kill |
He left taking the opportunity to blast his fellow celebs, claiming they'd get "eaten" in a real survival situation.
On a food hunt eventually something was found and the trio of celebrity hunters were stunned to find some pineapples on the ground and excitedly took them back to camp. I was immediately suspicious of these supermarket quality pineapples. I was surprised they didn’t find a tin of custard. Soon caveman Iwan had a chance to show is metal when the ladies collecting water came across a caiman crocodile having a nap in the clouded water.
When the messenger with the news returned to camp Iwan stomps forward, “I heard someone say a caiman. Is it true? Let’s fucking get it. I have to do this is why I came to the island for, I need a knife.” That the water source Iwan now in full hunter warrior drafted in Ryan as his caiman hunting sidekick set about getting dinner it’s been nine days since the islanders had a square meal. They were jumping around and finally pulled the meal out of the water and dispatched it.
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| Shazia looking unwell |
While killing the caiman the blood lust of those present were baying for blood. It was ugly and Ofcom received 11 complaints this morning probably for Iwan and Ryan more than the killing. Twitter was not happy with the killing and not just vegetarians nor were animal rights organization PETA.
As it was gutted and cooked, it left one islander in rather awkward dilemma for vegetarian Shazia Mirza to eat the meat or … Well she did and commentating it tasted like pork.
The idiots had still not sat down to appoint themselves a leader. Gold-medallist runner Iwan Thomas looks to be running the show along with a few lieutenants.
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