A plate man

Are you like me worried about the growth of some pubs and restaurants forgetting what a plate looks like? If you dine at a trendy gourmet burger chain, a gastropub or an independent bistro, there is a high risk of your food being served on something else entirely.

This trend from trendy restaurateurs and chefs think they are making some arty food statement but really, they are making an idiot of themselves. I thought flat slate plates and wooden boards were a step to far but today I offer to you dog bowl. No Pedigree Chum on offer, the £4.29 meal consists of a 'mound' of sausages, smoky bacon, chips and baked beans and from the picture looks like dog food all plopped in a dog bowl.

Even this morning I was watching BBC Breakfast where they were interviewing Prue Leith from the TV show Great British Menu who are going to celebrate the Women's Institute’s 100th anniversary with chefs from across the country be pitted against each other for the chance to cook at a banquet. They showed a scene for the upcoming series where one of the chefs used a mini garden bench to display his food.

If I sat down for a meal and someone brought it out on a shovel or a bed of flowers I would send it straight back to the kitchen with the simple message to put it on a plate.

What to do about Calais

Watching the news about the migrants at Calais storming the Channel tunnel it would seem some got through and you can bet they were straight on their mobiles to tell their mates who didn’t make it.

There in itself is a good enough reason to hang around in the jungle, the migrant’s camp outside Calais because maybe next time it could be them. That is why so many are persistent. It reminds me of prisoners of war making a ‘home run’ and all the prisoners cheering their success and you can bet news that some made it through brought the same response in the jungle.

Politicians like to talk doing little but make speeches and promises. Prime Minister Cameron said he would sort out the immigration problems back in 2010 in failed whatever the plan. What are politicians do while all this is happening …. Most are on their 8-weeks holidays and out of the office.

The Prime Minister is out of the country talking fences while The Home Secretary announced £7m in funding to bolster security but that could be the money for what the PM announced. France is blaming Eurostar at the Channel tunnel for cutting back on security staff leaving police resources stretched. In addition, they stating it was easier to work in the UK’s illegal black jobs market than anywhere in Europe.

UKIP are jumping up and down about sending in the army, which I couldn’t see the French government being happy with, foreign troops on French soil. The right-wing press are shouting from the rooftops blaming the French but forgetting if the French were to kick British border staff out of Calais it would make it worse. It puzzles me why people are allowed to walk around Europe without papers or any identity.

What to do with those who want in but doing it the naughty way – slam the border shut tighter than the Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne pockets. If you think about the cost of legal immigration and the cost to the economy higher more border staff and search every lorry and car because it one gets through it will never stop. For those who employ illegal migrants they should be hit hard in the pocket and hit them doubly harder the next time if they do it again.

I can’t see this going away anytime soon maybe we should have been in favour of identity cards when they were suggested. It seems all the migrants know the rules about how to get into Britain. So what to do! Like I mentioned earlier in this post shut the border tight and not just in Calais all ports of entry. Stop allowing people into the country without passports and only consider people with them for entry. Have a root and branch policy to hunt down illegal migrants already in the country and put a time limit on people from the European Union to come in and look for work.

Tesco - Steak Pie

After reviewing four pies in my ‘Rate my Pie’ posts I knew eventually I would hit a right donkey, ok compared to the others, this one is the Tesco Steak Pie.

 

Out of the oven the top of the pie coloured well and crisped up a bit, which was a good point but looking pretty doesn’t make a pie. It was definitely a plate pie if you were to try picking it up it would have broken up in your hand. Before my eyes, the pie seemed to deflate as the filling put pressure on the side as if it wanted to burst out.

 

On cutting the pie in half the filling just oozed out over the plate but on the upside I could see a fair amount of steak pieces for a lower cost pie. The steak was very tender often these cheaper pies suffer from poor quality meat although the steak was a bit chewy. The gravy was very runny and it tested ok and nothing to write home about to be honest I had a better one of these pies before. It is something I expect from mass produced pies.

 

The slightly soggy bottom to the pie was also expected with the policy to have the thinnest of pastry. Even without the tray, the pastry still is wafer thin. It is no good just concentrating on the filling without giving the same thought to the pastry. In the end, I couldn’t see me kicking down the door of Tesco’s to get my hands on another anytime soon.

 

Rate this Pie 5

Classic TV – Another Sunday and sweet F.A. (1972)

The reason I waffle on so much about YouTube sometimes you unearth a little gem and today I hit gold. My find reminded me of the fun times watching park football and the characters a game of football could attract including yours truly.

 

Eric Armistead (played by David Swift) is a Sunday league association football referee one of the most unthankful of jobs in football. How many times have you stood around the dressing room waiting for them to open and along comes the ref renowned for booking players for the fine money.

 

In the opening scene, we hear him being henpecked by his wife and unable to clear two young lads fighting in his gateway and after failing to clear them gives them a count of five but stretches it to six in `the end he jumps over the garden wall. What hope does he have of controlling the players of Co-op Albion and Parker Street Depot?

 

What a desperate bunch of typical Sunday League players in the 1970s grabbing a quick fag before the kick off not much has change there anyway. Pot bellies and in recovery from the night before and everyone believing, they were Georgie Best not so much the beautiful game. However, Mr Armistead genuinely believes that he can use his peaceful philosophy of life to tame the wilder excesses of the players. Mr Armistead giving the two-team captains a pre-match pep talk

Mr. Armistead: Good morning. A few pearls of wisdom from one who knows. What we're now about to witness is called a football match - not the beginning of World War III, not the destruction of the human race - a football match. In it, each of the teams will attempt to score more goals than the other...
Albion Captain: [glaring at Parker Street captain] what are you looking at?
Parker Street Captain: [glaring back] not much.
Mr. Armistead: ...That will be done by kicking the ball in the net, as opposed to kicking other people in the crotch.
Albion Captain: Right.
Parker Street Captain: Great.
Albion Captain: Thanks.
Parker Street Captain: Shall we start - or are we gonna stand here and freeze to death?
Mr. Armistead: If I see a good clean exhibition of football skill, you won't know I'm here. If, on the other hand, and acting according to the new gospel of Lytham St Anne's, there's any foul tackles, shirt-pulling, swearing at me, dropping dead with St Vitus's Dance because some other player accidentally looks at you, out comes my little book and in it goes the name. Arguing with the referee will naturally not be tolerated.
Albion Captain: Who the bloody hell's arguing?
Mr. Armistead: Are you trying to get yourself into the Guinness Book of Records - the only player to be sent off before the game's even started?
Parker Street Captain: [mutters] Like a bloody tape recorder.
Mr. Armistead: Did you speak?
Parker Street Captain: No, I was yawning.
Mr. Armistead: Now may the best team win.
Albion Captain: Why?

The game is ugly and violent as Armistead, is driven to exasperation by the players. They niggle him throughout the game but he is no angel as he misses a handball while checking out two of the player’s girlfriends. During a melee between two players, Armistead was ready to send them off but the two captains tell them not to give him their names. At the same time some local kids are breaking into the changing rooms as the older boy said, “if there is £3 just take £1 the same with loose change” and when asked why he replied, “because then they are not sure it is missing”.

Half time 0-0.

 

More of the same lots of huffing, puffing, and missed chances in the second half. When a penalty is awarded the player taking it was tripped up and after a retake misses anyway. After the wall doesn’t move back the required 10-yards for a free kick Armistead proceeds to abandon the game but was goaded to restart the match.

 

Who hadn’t seen a blatant offside and the linesman keep the flag down because this is park football and the linesman is normally someone from either team well at least in this the goal was disallowed. After being stuck into by one of the players Armistead told him if it wasn’t for the war, he could have made it Accrington Stanley. After a few moments, he charges up the pitch, connects with a beautiful cross, and heads the ball into the back of the net. After celebrating, he points to the kick off spot while everyone looks on dumfounded.

 

As one team prepare for kick off the others argue until they are blue in the face that the goal shouldn’t count. Pointing out in the rulebook Law 9 paragraph B, in which said if the ball hit the ref in play and goes in then it is a goal. He stated he didn’t deliberately score the goal it was a rebound off his head. After watching the action replay, he knew what he was doing alright.

Full time 1-0

The football action is interspersed with other characters an embittered park keeper who hates marking out the pitches and would rather be working with flowers. Two mature ladies walking the dog discussing world politics and the situation between Russia and China. Girlfriends with little real interest in the game but feel they have to show some support. One of the goalkeepers is dumped and on the line, the management bark out orders that are mostly ignored.

Click here to watch

To Russia with Wales?

Well the World Cup 2018 draw threw up an interesting group for Wales and they will face the Republic of Ireland, plus Austria, Serbia, Moldova and Georgia in Group D. I would thing the Welsh management and fans would be happy with this group.

Now that is over manager Chris Coleman and the players need to get back in the mind set of gaining qualification for next seasons Euro Championship. Wales maybe top of their Euro 2016 group with four games left and have a three-point lead but they still need points to be sure of qualifying.

I must admit even I’m getting excited about the future of Welsh international football having for years been nonplussed about them. Let me explain myself. I have always supported them in every game but my true love lies in club football, in particular Cardiff City as I enjoy the cut and thrust of league football more.

It’s nothing to do with disappointment with their lack of success in qualifying for anything since 1958, a long time ago. Being a Cardiff fan I have had over the years received plenty of that disappointment following them.

Labour leadership battle

Runners and Riders

It has been a while since I did politics on here and being the Labour party are shooting themselves in the foot daily I thought it was time to throw in my 10 penneth worth.

I am a strange bed fellow for the Labour Party as I am no fan of the unions I strongly believe in one member one vote not some bloke waving a card around with a million votes. Has for lefties! I believe in the centre ground so in today’s Labour Party that makes me a Blairite.

 

I am greatly interested in the leaders’ battle and have watched those I can with Jeremy Corbyn looking to have all the momentum. Everyone except for Corbyn supporters are suggesting the party will head into the abyss under his leadership. I would tend to agree with their statements even with 5 years to the next election.

 

There are a few of Corbyn’s policies that I like the renationalisation of the railways is one of my favourites although it will be costly and some of his welfare plans. They would be popular but the bad stuff outweighs the good. They the left seem to be looking toward the utopia that is Scotland for nourishment after the SNP wiped Labour out because they offered a left-wing alternative to austerity. There were many other issues floating around in Scotland including the talk of a Labour/SNP coalition and the media and press love-in with Nicola Sturgeon even negative reporting worked for her.

 

I like the idea of taxing the rich but a fair amount would be 50% not the stupid talk of 75%. Scrap the bomb, scrap the royals are standard left of party policies that will always be sprouted and another two policies I do not follow.

 

As of the other three, they are suffering because of up swell of support for Corbyn whose supporters seem to outnumber the others at most of these Labour leadership hustings. Andy Burnham according to a recent poll is in a distant second with the ladies Yvette Cooper and Liz Kendall bringing up the rear. So who will be getting my vote? My centre position should have me in the Kendell camp and unless something drastic happens to vitalise her campaign my vote is going elsewhere.

 

I believe that if the Labour Party is a progressive party then it is about time we had a woman leader so I will be voting for Yvette Cooper. We have gone left before and lost, we took the centre ground a won but some of those in the party would have rather we lost, all lead by man so it’s time to break the mould. I have been very impress with Harriet Harman who is temporary leader of the party I wish she had decided to run for the leadership.

Sunday Crush - Shirley Eaton - Bond Girl

When it comes to my ever-growing crushes on actresses, I have no ability to stay loyal. I just bounce around from one after another being so fickle and sexist but hey, that’s how I am made. Today’s unhealthy memory came courtesy of the film ‘Around the World under the Sea’ that threw up the delectable Shirley Eaton.

She caught my eye playing Jill Masterton a character in Goldfinger and the memory of her laid out across the bed painted head to toe in gold paint, a nasty way to die but a great memory for the male of the species and me. That one scene gained her the recognition as one of the top remembered Bond girls up there with the like of Honor Blackman, who played famed Bond Girl Pussy Galore in the same film.

Shirley was born in England but as that Nordic blonde look and was strikingly beautiful with a stunning face and physique who wasn’t shy about showing off her remarkable athletic body. She starred on British TV, stage and film and after Bond Hollywood beckoned and Shirley immediately won a number of female leads in melodrama, crime yarns, and rugged adventures playing mainly the love interest.

She started her career playing minor parts in such classic British comedies as Doctor in the House (1954) and quickly rose to co-star status in films like Three Men in a Boat (1956), The Naked Truth (1957) and Doctor at Large (1957), has well as a number of Carry on films.

She when into self-imposed retirement at the end of the 1960’s to look after her family.

My favourite musically year 1979

I have written a lot about my music on here because I love it, most anyway. I recently read a blog where the writer considered 1971 to be the best-ever year for his taste in music and albums he enjoyed.

My annus mirabilis was 1979 and at the grand old age of 19 years-old I got it and found a tribe to follow and embrace the music. Some might think 19 was pretty old to make that discovery but I always liked a variety of different music growing up. As I maintained earlier, it was the only time I followed the herd, which opened a vast array of new music to me.

 

Coming late into tribe mentality I still had a berth of music tastes as I remember listing to the radio on a Sunday afternoon before the charts show playing what’s called today easy listening to some crazy stuff today. From Nat King Cole singing "When I Fall in Love" in the early days to Evanescence and “Bring Me to Life”  about as heavy has my music taste reach on my favourites list.

 

There were probably others I could have added to the list below but these are the standout albums in my book. I have written plenty about 2Tone, and The Specials and the nutty boys of Madness but the others were just as important to my musical education.

 

Squeeze were part of the British new wave scene happening around the time and Cool for Cats was the group’s second album, released in 1979. The album was a hit in the UK and included a number of tracks on the album that stood out "Cool for Cats",  "Up the Junction"  and a particular favourite "It's Not Cricket". Reggatta de Blanc was also released in 1979 and a favourite reaching No. 1 in the charts for the Police. It was also their second studio album and featured the band's first two UK No. 1 hits: "Message in a Bottle" and "Walking on the Moon". As with every album, there is always a track that defines your listening experience and with this album in was "The Bed's too big without you".

 

I had been a long-time admirer of reggae back then and still am today. Where I lived back then helped because it was hard to miss. It was even beginning to chart but I could honesty say I had no idea who Linton Kwesi Johnson until I heard him on the radio. It must have been John Peel who introduced us it’s was the place to listen for new upcoming sounds. I quickly went to Spillers (the oldest record shop in the world) to dig out a copy of Forces of Victory and loved It with "It Noh Funny" my favourite track.

Steel Pulse are a roots reggae band, out of Handsworth area of Birmingham, England. I had previously bought their debut album Handsworth Revolution so I was well equated with them thanks to the aforementioned John Peel radio show. David Hinds (lead vocals, guitar) voice is mesmerising and tat it’s brillent best for Biko's Kindred Lament and the equalling thought provoking Uncle George

• The Specials – The Specials
• Reggatta de Blanc – The Police
• One Step Beyond – Madness
• Forces of Victory – Linton Kwesi Johnson
• Cool for Cats – Squeeze
• Tribute to the Martyrs – Steel Pulse

Victoria Park Pie Company - Minced Beef Pie

After the Lamb and mint pie last week it’s back to basics with a minced beef pie from the Victoria Park Pie Company. I did ask the wife to buy a steak pie but hey, in one ear and out of the other but she remember to buy a cold pie saving a few pence.

A warm-up in the oven for around 25 minutes on a medium setting then onto a plate to cool off a bit. No foil tray, which was a godsend a throw back to when they were part of the Clarks Pie family before they moved in a different direction. It looked very much like the fore mentioned pie, minus the trademark "CLARPIE" stamped into the pastry at the bottom of the pie we now a piece of paper on the top (see picture). Do you eat it? I don’t, I pick it off.

Minced beef pies can suffer from a bad reputation in the pie world as a pie made from inferior meats, a lesser pie as a result, possibly even called the poor man’s pie. This pie was well above your normal minced beef pie helped by the firm pastry and the meat was lovely and tender, with a flavoursome gravy. The pie was full from top to bottom with filling a mix of minced meat, potato, and onion and was very tasty. It was a pleaser to eat.

I would rate a mincemeat pie as higher as their steak pie, and I rate is higher than some steak pies I recently eaten.

Rate this Pie 9.90

Death of the Boozer

My Local

Is there such a thing as a proper boozer/pub these days because I see many pubs are up for sale with a few being turned into themed pubs or worse still, flats/housing?

A good boozer was a friendly and unpretentious place presided over by a smiling, ruddy-faced landlord with half a tub of Brylcreem (1960s throwback) in his hair or some hard as nails landlady who took no shit. The only food on offer was a packet of crisps, pork scratchings, a bag of peanuts slowly revealing a dolly bird and a jar of pickled eggs. You could happily sit there with your mates talking crap while listening to others talking bollocks around there table. We all had a local then and went into town on a Friday or Saturday to strut your stuff.

Where I grew up in Cardiff, we had boozers on nearly every street corner. I lived in the Cardiff Docks area now all poshed up under the name Cardiff Bay and in the small area I lived in, we had two pubs both now housing. The Packet pub is the last boozer left surrounded by new upscale gastropubs but even there we can see an upgrade with real food on the menu.

The proper boozer have all but gone and I have watched many a good watering hole go to the big boozer in the sky. Those replaced return in either two forms a gastropubs where food and ambience is the name of the game with drink a secondary thought or the cheap and tacky chain brand like Wetherspoons and others. We are now besieged by hordes of ghastly chain bars of satellite television, blaring music, and lairy customers.

If you find a proper boozer, you should treasure it. Some of the most pleasurable nights of my life were spent in pubs. In a touch to modernisation with jukeboxes and a Fruit Machines/One Arm Bandit, I could live with them but somehow todays pubs/boozers just don’t feel right. Your local today is more likely to be the off-licence or an aisle in your supermarket.

Funny thing is I don’t frequent a boozer these days. My pub of choice is a gastropub where food and ambience is all important and you can have a pint or a coffee.

Down the Chippy

The whiff of nostalgia coming off this photo is as strong as the smell of grease and vinegar probably in the air when it was taken.

That lovely little chip shop was glowing with the sounds of Greek music, fun, and food that filled you up and in the winter warmed you. Propping our bikes outside we would pile in and we would be treated to some Greek dancing to go with the music it was always a fun queue. A bag of chips, beautiful and freshly chipped out the back then cooked to perfection. On the side if you had the money for me would be a fishcake or sausage batter.

Wrapped in newspaper with lashings of salt and vinegar so hot you could barely hold them let alone eat them. The smokers would be skint after spending the last of their money on a loosie so they were snapping around like a bunch of seals looking for a feed. The true British takeaway although today not so popular but I can understand why. There is competition everywhere for the cash in your pocket and the ‘chippy’ is no longer as special has it once was.

I remember taking my kids to Burger King and the like buying them a burger and fries and they would be gone in 50 seconds. They would be concerned for Daddy not having anything to eat until I walked them down to chippy lane to get my feed of real chips, not fries. My kid’s still hungry would beg like dew-eyed puppies looking to quell their hunger after they 50 seconds meal.

I have fond memories of going down the chippy, as a kid growing up be it Jimmy’s, Mario’s or that one at the top of Adelaide Street whose name I forget. Be it a full family meal, chips with the mates or noshing down on a bag of scrumps left over batter that had been deep-fried, the cheapest thing you could buy they were all good memories.

Most of today’s chippy’s can be compared to an old-fashioned corner shop and a superstore. You can buy everything under the sun while the other you can get the basics.

Victoria Park Pie Company - Lamb and Mint Pie

I have decided that Wednesday will now be official declared Pie Day.

I am a traditionalist when it comes to my pies I like what I like with steak, minced beef, or meat and potato the fillings of choice while others I tend to leave by the wayside. However, today I will break my virginity, take a step into the unknown, and eat a pie not usually on my menu.

Today I am reviewing a Lamb and Mint pie from the Victoria Park Pie Company not much of a step into the unknown but little steps. The filling in cased within the normal Clarks Pie pastry, which I love by the way. The Victoria Park Pie Company is an offshoot of the Clarks Pie family after the two shops split.

Seeing has is pie was coming home it was much more sensible to save some pennies and buy a cold pie and reheat in preheated oven at 190°C, gas mark 5 for 25-30 minutes. Having a fan oven I popped it in on 180°C.

There was plenty of lamb in the pie and it tasted of good quality, in nice big meaty chunks filling the inside of the pie. The big surprise was the mint gravy. I said earlier how my pie taste were pretty bland nothing exotic so this was a bit new for yours truly. As it happens, I love minty gravy so I felt right at home.

It was hard to fault the pie minus the CLARPIE on the bottom of the pie meaning – it’s not a genuine Clarkies but I would not throw it out of bed. Coming up next Wednesday, I will be reviewing the minced beef pie, from the same shop.

Rate is Pie 9.99%

Watched 'Shed of the Year' last night

The winning shed

Caught shed of the Year last night on Channel 4. Programmes like these are always on my must watch list I just love ordinary people building stuff from sheds, boats and houses I think I am a frustrated builder of something at heart.

 

More than 2,500 creations from amateur ‘sheddies’ entered to win Channel 4’s ‘Amazing Spaces Shed of the Year’ hoping to win the £1,000 top prize.

 

We once had a shed it was nothing like these some guy came along and through it up in an hour and I proceeded to fill it with junk. I could only wish to have sat back and let my mind create something to be proud of but a shed was a shed back then for the majority.

 

Sheds are back in favour as extra space be it for the kids, a hobby space, office space or just a place to chill out you can get something made to your taste. From a basic shed, we are all familiar with to a mega shed or bespoke built. All the shed’s on ‘Shed of the Year’ where self-build projects that in some case were years in the making.

 

The winner was Walter Micklethwait who created Inshriach Distillery all from a run-down bird shed using mostly recycled items. His shed was split into four defined sections with a shop, ladies waiting room, saloon and the gin distillery in a Wild West-themed gin joint it was good but not my favourite.

 

My favourite

That accolade goes to the Owl House owned by Tracy Caroline Lewis I just loved it and it was wheelchair friendly a plus with my wife also wheelchair dependent. Overlooking coastal sand dunes made entirely from cob, recycled plywood, collected recycled glass bottles, and even has a grass living roof used for relaxing in. It was beautiful and I was jealous.

 

Both the aforementioned shed’s received three votes each from the six members of the panel so it was down to the public votes each had received on winning their individual categories. The Owl House losing by over 300 votes was a disappointment but good luck to the winner and I hope his year as winner will be interesting.

Best 7" single ever

Thirty four years ago today The Specials hit number one and for three weeks with the song 'Ghost Town' possibly the greatest 7” single of all time, in my book anyway with the release of Ghost Town, A-side and a B-side consisting of ‘Why’ and ‘Friday Night, Saturday Morning’. Yes, this might still be the finest 7” package in pop history.

 

Warnings of urban decay, unemployment, and violence, all which could be seen daily on our TVs in our newspapers and around us every day it hit the mood of the time. Not just in Coventry but all over the UK inner cities. At a time of similar hopelessness, towns in England suffered from serious riots across many major cities. They were perceived as race riots between communities but the real target was the police especially within the black community where there was a growing distrust of the police and authority. The four main riots that occurred were the Brixton riot in London, the Handsworth riots in Birmingham, the Chapeltown riot in Leeds and the Toxteth riots in Liverpool .

 

Both ‘Why’ and ‘Friday Night, Saturday Morning’ could have been standalone A-side singles.

 

‘Why’ is a simple yet profound anti-racism song that should be heard far more often with its simple message to live together?

 

'Friday Night Saturday Morning' equally castigates the pathetic standards of youth culture, delivered in Terry Hall's deadpan, uber-sarcastic style, 'Wish I had lipstick on my shirt, instead of piss-stains on my shoes.' We've all been there more times than we would like to say.

Welsh Cup route to the Final

The Welsh Cup Qualifying First Round draw was completed the other day and like with the FA Cup, which I have already written about I like to follow a team/route to the Final.

One big change for this coming season is the competition now has sponsorship having secured a record two-year deal with the sports fashion retailer JD according to the Football Association of Wales (FAW). From this season, it will be the JD Welsh Cup.

Stephen White of JD said, “We’ve been the official retail partner of the FAW for the past two years and this new sponsorship underpins our support of Welsh football and ongoing commitment to the FAW”.

Jonathan Ford, FAW chief executive, said, “We are delighted to announce this record sponsorship deal with JD. We already have an excellent partnership and this deal further strengthens our relationship. We look forward to the next couple of years.”

I was never a real fan of the competition when my team Cardiff City competed but for the odd away game and final. I could never understand why because I have always love cup games like the FA Cup and League Cup but I was never fired up with the Welsh Cup.

So which team to follow is my decision? There are around 200 clubs entering next season’s tournament regionalised in to groups in the early rounds, North-West, North–East, Central, South-West, South–East and finally South–Central. As a rule I have picked a team from the South–Central region because it was local to me and last season started with Cardiff base team Splott Albion ending up with losing finalist Newtown.

Looking down the list were some interesting names and the only reason I nowhere many of the clubs are is thanks to the Welsh Cup. Like Mynydd Llandegai FC, which needed a google search? I have one rule when playing this game that the first game must be a home fixture and picked Brecon Corries who face a visit from Penrhiwfe.

Devil Girl from Mars - Film Review

This British sci-fi film ‘Devil Girl from Mars’ 1954 was done on the cheap and that is why I like it because I am a sucker for naff films. In America, this film would be in the B-movie gene in the UK these types of films would just a low-budget movie quickly turned around for a speedy cinema release.

After a war between the sexes’ on Mars, the female of the species manages to shoot themselves in the foot by turning what men were left sexually impudent owing to the shame of the defeat. So what do you do? You look enviously towards planet Earth and sends someone to the aforementioned planet to kidnap a virile man for breeding and testing purposes.

Martian Nyah (Patricia Laffan) is sent to Earth accompanied by the daftest robot built for a movie even for the 1950s to begin her search. Nyah is dressed in what looks like dominatrix -type gear, black PVC cape, mini-skirt, and boots, looks like she stepped out of a 1950s fetish magazine.

The plan was to land her spaceship close to London but misses her original target after some damage to her spaceship entering Earth's atmosphere and then colliding with an aircraft. She ends up landing in Scotland so there goes the gene pool. She didn’t have to go far on landing in her search for a man has she was within spitting distance of a village pub.

In the pub, you find the normal film bar flies you never see in a real pub well maybe in some. A husband nagged to death and back by his wife who would surely enjoy a relaxing trip to Mars just to get away from her. A London fashion model who turns up hoping to escape her married boyfriend who turns up as well, and there is a murderer freshly escaped from prison after killing his wife. There just happens to be some guy from the ministry an appointed expert on meteors and an assortment of locals.

Much of the film unfolds in the bar where Nyah occasionally enters, makes threats, then leaves so the residents can contemplate her words. It becomes clear that the local Scotsmen aren't the least bit interested in going with her to Mars, and the local women aren't about to give them up without a fight. She kidnaps the barkeeper’s young grandson, and then turns her robot loose to vaporize everything in sight.

A plan is hatched to get him back but that would mean someone would have to sacrifice himself. The murderer puts himself forward, volunteers, surrendering to Nyah who is happy to have her sample of male humanity. The craft is soon on route to Mars but after take-off, he successfully sabotages Nyah's flying saucer comes crashing to the ground.

They came in two, four, or six

I was caned a number of times at Primary School, and most of the time given for the right reason because I was a naughty boy except once which I will reminisce about later. Most of my friends had the stick at one time or another, back in the late 1960s and 1970s it was part of our education.

It is funny but I can remember the two times I received six-of-the-best and can remember the reasons and one other time but that was only for four. The cane was despatched by the headmaster and his deputy, Mr Walsh (Lardy), Mr Fin (Finny) respectively one of whom seemed to enjoy it more, and that was Mr Fin.

Lardy did is duty and I got the feeling it was a task he didn’t enjoy even at my tender age compared with Finny. I would rather six off Lardy then four or two off Finny as his caning sessions were always the most painful after the deed. His favourite weapon of choice, which I can remember to this day, a bamboo cane frayed at the whacking end making every whack feel like three or four. If you were to move or so much as flinch, it could be seen as a negative reaction and could lead to a retake.

Lardy was our Mr Chips beloved by everyone and with the respect of our parents, many of whom he had taught. I didn’t jump into the shallow end with my first caning as I received the magic six first time out thanks to Miss O'Reilly. I asked her how to spell ‘foghorn’ and next thing I know she was ordering me out of the class. I needed a stiff upper lip because the caning venue was to take place in front of Lardy’s class. He held my wrist as the caning begun – one, two, three, four, five, and the final sixth quick and sharp all on the one hand and I just stood there with my lips quivering I saved the crying until I return to class.

I never knew why I was caned but over the years I reckon she thought I said ‘Fu** O**’ but I was around nine-years-old with no knowledge of such a word in 1969. Even when I grew up with it still festering on my mind, I never had the bottle to ask her in case she sent me out of the room.

My last and final six was for the little ditty ‘Hitler he only as one ball’ told to me which I then spread around, a little bit. The next thing I knew I was standing in Lardy’s office with my arm out stretched about to receive six-of-the-best. That was my last year in Primary School the same term Lardy knocked on the door before the start of the year for permission to carry on caning which Mum and Dad were in full support.

The worst caning I got in school was from Finny when I was on the end of his fury. The beginning began with a group of friends deciding the church would make a good playground and ended up being lined-up against the wall and given a bollocking. It was out of school when we ‘desecrated’ the church but school and church being a Catholic were closely entwined. That day it was four but with the aforementioned frayed cane, it felt well into double figures. I do remember it stinging really bad and the quick, whip-like swoosh sound the cane made but I didn’t cry or maybe I did.

When I said desecrating the church, we were playing, running about not making blood sacrifices or a bit of devil worshiping but we might have well been going on the reaction of Finny. His face was bright red, blood vessels fit to burst shouting inches from my face covering me with spit. Still he was a good teacher.

Beyond the back yard

The kids next door are out again well the sun is out but you want see them beyond their garden/backyard because that is their world.

Our playground growing up was our streets, park and around the river but could always want more fun things to do. So on hearing that across the river they were getting an adventure playground it caught our attention. This was in the early 1970s and we had a bit of them and us thing with those across the river.

A group of us decided to have some fun and made our way over the bridge for some playtime. The volunteers were happy to see us anyway, we were soon setting about building a den, and there was no shortage of materials. We found some space and laboured through the afternoon building a den. The currency was nails if someone had something you needed you would barter for it also some enterprising youth invested in old car tyres and came up with a business idea.

It was so simple really, he made a small maze with the tyres just big enough to crawl through, covered it with boards, and for a few nails you would crawl through in the dark while is mates and him would either jump up and down on the boards or bash them with sticks to scare you.

Even when there was an adult/volunteers present we still made the rules, and there was no shadowy organization called “Health and Safety” dedicated to ruining children’s fun like these days. We could jump, climb, and play with hammers and no safety gear in sight.

After an afternoon of play, we headed home for something to eat after locking up our den. On returning the volunteers had gone and so had our den, remember them and us, well someone had burnt it to the ground.

Quorn FC my FA Cup starting point

Nice to see the draw for the Extra preliminary round of the 2015-16 FA Cup made so I can tick off another one of my football traditions.

I have a number of them (traditions) but this one is to follow from a far one team from the earliest round of the FA Cup switching to the winner until the final in May. They will be at least 14 matches away from the final at Wembley and the players of the team I pick will be sitting in the pub watching the game rather than playing in the final.

Which team to pick? Last season didn’t pan out for me ending up on the losing side but hey, it’s just a bit of fun for a football nerdy like me.

• Extra Preliminary Round - Dunkirk FC

• Preliminary Round – Shepshed Dynamo FC

• First Round Qualifying – Sheffield FC

• Second Round Qualifying – Warrington Town

• Third Round Qualifying – Warrington Town

• Fourth Round Qualifying – Warrington Town

• First Round Proper – Warrington Town

• Second Round Proper – Gateshead FC

• Third Round – West Brom

• Fourth Round – West Brom

• Fifth Round West Brom

• Sixth Round – West Brom

• Semi-Final – Aston Villa

• Final – Aston Villa

I perused the list looking for the team with the stupidest name a favourite of mine or one that jumped out at me and there would a few contenders Jarrow Roofing Boldon CA, AFC Wulfrunians and FC Romania who last season coursed a bit of a media scramble.

In the end, I chose Quorn FC who on picking I had no idea who they were or where they played, I just hope they weren’t some veggie team. In the old days, I would never know anything about them but we are lucky today we have the internet. I quickly found out they were based in the village of Quorn, near Loughborough, Leicestershire, currently playing in the Midland League Premier Division. They were formally known has Quorn Methodists F.C., changing its name in 1952.

If Quorn beat Oadby Town in the opening round, they will face a trip to Harborough Town or Shirebrook Town in the Preliminary round. >>>> Full Draw

Peter’s Pies - Cornbeef Pie

I am not the world’s biggest fan of the Peter’s Pies range although their Steak Pie is the best of a mediocre bunch in the pie section. I rate their Cornbeef pastie highly along with their plain Sausage Roll.

However, during a store promotion, the display caught my eye and I was drawn towards Peter’s Cornbeef Pie. I love a Cornbeef Pie since I was a youngster and low and behold, I dropped one into our shopping trolley.

I was thinking was it just the filling of a Cornbeef pastie pushed into a pie case. The letdown is the pastry, which is my problem with all Peter’s Pies. I like my pies to be firmer and these pies just do not cut the mustard with me. To help firm up this pie I tried reheating it in the oven, discarded the foil tray. The pie came out of the oven soggy with no firmness, and when I tried to pick it up it easily broke up always a disappointment in a pie for me. Definitely, a plate pie so out came a fork.

As for the filling of the pie was lovely which I was expecting seeing I like the pasties but a bit chunkier maybe. It was a tad short on content there was plenty of room for some more. There was a campaign to make the Cornbeef pasty the national dish of Wales however, the same couldn’t be said of the pie.

Rate this Pie 6/10 (5.9 for the filling)