Boobs - in or out?

This will be possibly the most controversial blog ever posted by yours truly. It is a question I have been mulling over for a while which came to a head the other day. In or out and I am talking about breasts. Are you happy to wear a bra or not?

I am not the biggest fan in the world of Big Brother but I do watch from time to time and on Friday between programmes, I caught some of the eviction night tomfoolery. I happened to see new housemate Harry Amelia enter the BB house and was seriously impressed with what she was wearing so much so I may have shouted out a ‘cor’ which didn’t go down well with the wife.

Her impressive cleavage didn’t go unnoticed wearing a form-fitting baby blue latex dress on social media platforms. Later on seeing her boob’s unfeckled, I was a tad disappointed and I can see why some ladies say a bit of up lift can be good. I suppose size does matter the bigger they are the more some woman want to control them. I asked the wife who is sizeable would she prefer a smaller set she nearly snapped my hand off with the speed of her reply yes please.

However, I am and have always been a fan of ladies wearing a bra and that goes way back to when I was a youngster, around 12/13 years old. I know why but I am not going to say but it did have a lasting effect on me. Sorry for been a sexist pig but I like what I like, and it was never a relationship breaker.

I remember back in my school days girls would be eager to move up from those first bras (training bras) has flat chested girls were often teased and soon has they started to grow more teasing. A typical catch twenty-two situation. Back then, it was a case of you had what you had with the only really help tissues and padded bras while today skies the limit with the help of a plastic surgeon.

One of my friends calls them a boob harness (bras) and asked why I don’t plop my man boobs in a bra seeing as I am so interested in them.

Musical fuddy-duddy

I want one

Regular readers of my blog will know that music has always been an important part of my life. Although I make an effort to keep up with current music trends, my kind of music doesn’t fit into popular music of today. It’s resigned to a niche market.

I increasingly find myself digging back into the archives for something to listen to but luckily, there is still stuff to find. I have become some kind of old fuddy-duddy stuck in the past and my memories. My music has always brought me pleasure unlike one of my other passions football, which has given me plenty of heartache over the years.

Music is like a comfort blanket for me something to cling to and bookmark my memories and past events. I maybe have a wide taste in music by it always comes back to one gene ‘Two Tone’ it is the lynch pin to all the branches of my musical tree.

In the picture, you can see what I would regard as my ultimate goal. A two-tone jukebox and with it crammed packed with the Specials, Madness etc. How often could I listen to this stuff, daily in my case and I kind of do just this morning I gave myself a blast of the Specials ‘You're Wondering Now’ before going shopping.

I don’t have any vinyl these days nor CDs or a cash of music on an iPod the internet is my window to music I enjoy seeing original videos. There was a time I would probably no most of the top 20 in the singles chart but now I don’t think I could come up with any.

So, what do I like now currently in and about the charts Florence and the Machines are interesting me but not enough to run out and buy the album those days have long gone. The Strypes are a band that excites me in this world of naff music from crap boy bands like ‘One Shit’ its good to see a group of lads just being a band.

Another thing have you noticed that the Jukebox is disappearing from pubs. With big screen and wall-to-wall football and other sporting events, they seem to have been pushed out of the door with the screens and piped music taking over. The joys of walking into a pub and perusing a jukeboxes library of content have long gone in some pubs.

FA Cup final day --- Villa for me

I loved the FA Cup final ever since I can remember and today I will be switching on to the BBC coverage as I have always done. Maybe love is a bit too strong, but I still think it is the best competition in the world.

No matter which team you supported it was the biggest football day bar none unlike now where the bigger clubs treat the game as second fiddle to Champions League or Premiership survival. When I was a kid the competition was steeped in history and magic with some of my earliest memories of watching football on TV were FA Cup finals. Live football was rare not like today with wall-to-wall football.

Back then the technology was poor the cameras were massive and something like broadcasting from the team bus was an amazing feat. The whole build-up to the game was exciting; the stories of success, failure and my team Cardiff City would always get a mention because they were the only club to take the FA Cup out of England.

From the early rounds, I was hooked and I loved viewing the results because there were teams I had never heard of before. I liked It’s a Knockout and remembering they did a show one before the game with fans of both teams. It may have be short lived but it helped make the day. Before kick-off the street would empty, it would be like a ghost town, it was family time around the TV in our house even football-hating mum would even watch.

There was a pattern to my day with our house a BBC one. On the BBC, you would have all the normal stuff like ‘Meet the Players’ and ‘Road to Wembley’ and the aforementioned ‘It’s a Cup Final Knockout’. ITV would be the same and checking out the schedule for 1972 (Arsenal v Leeds final) they were showing things like, ‘My Dads Wembley’, ‘Cup Final Wrestling’, and the ‘Comedians’. I was 12 years old then and a sponge for all things football.

One final that sticks in my mine was the Chelsea v Leeds United (1969/1970) the final was famous for the hostility between both sets of players. They both had their hard men with the likes of ‘Chopper Harris’ for Chelsea and Leeds had Billy Bremner who was flattened with a "kung Fu" challenge. Harris was detailed to mark Wembley Man of the Match Eddie Gray in the replay but after a series of fouls during the first half effectively immobilised the Scot. Elsewhere, Charlton kneed and head-butted Osgood, Hunter, and Hutchinson traded punches, and goalkeeper Bonetti was injured after being bundled into the net by Jones and limped through the rest of the match with a heavily bandaged knee. The word “bloodbath” was used for the game that saw thirty-five fouls given against Chelsea and 11 against Leeds. If the game was being played today there wouldn’t been anyone left on the pitch.

Every year since I was a teenager I would follow a team from the opening round today and this season with all the war celebration I picked Dunkirk FC. That was way back in August.

• Extra Preliminary Round - Dunkirk FC
• Preliminary Round – Shepshed Dynamo FC
• First Round Qualifying – Sheffield FC
• Second Round Qualifying – Warrington Town
• Third Round Qualifying – Warrington Town
• Fourth Round Qualifying – Warrington Town
• First Round Proper – Warrington Town
• Second Round Proper – Gateshead FC
• Third Round – West Brom
• Fourth Round – West Brom
• Fifth Round West Brom
• Sixth Round – West Brom
• Semi-Final – Aston Villa
• Final – Aston Villa

Not the best runs to the final so that means along with Prince William I will be on the Aston Villa side of the fence for one game only.

TV show from the past - Prospects'

If it’s not politics I blog about it is TV and film so today again via YouTube I fell upon some more TV gold from the past. I have been looking and trying to remember this show for years I just couldn’t place it would have helped if I have got the shows name right.

Out of the blue in my recommended file on my YouTube account, it was there, ‘Prospects’ the TV show I had been hunting for. It must have been because recently I have been searching around comedies and TV shows in that time period. Memories came flooding back it’s strange how that happens and I found myself remembering a lot more than I did before. Next plan is to re-watch them hopefully YouTube could help with that task. If I had the title of the show right in the first place, I may have come across it sooner. Also, if I’d had the channel it was shown on right in the first place that could have helped.

Based around London's Isle of Dogs it followed the exploits of two East End 'lads' Jimmy 'Pincy' Pince played by Gary Olsen and Bill 'Billy' Pearson played by Brian Bovell both unemployed. We see their trials and tribulations of making a living in the black market of cash in hand.

They were surviving during the grim days of Thatcher's Britain in the mid-eighties. It was not an overly hash has the BBC’s ‘Boys of the Black Stuff’ this had a more comical slant, dealt with unemployment, crime, poverty, regeneration, social change and racism.

Pincy and Billy

Pincy and Billy were surviving picking up the 'social/dole' (Government Benefits) while on the side they earned a few quid from the odd dodgy employer. They were also constantly coming up with some air-brained schemes to get rich quick but always failed. The opening scene of episode one was a classic. We see a group of men standing round communal washing lines outside a row of maisonettes and we soon find out why, they are waiting for their dole money. The postman turns up with a police dog handler to hand them out. They were getting to their money before the wife or girlfriend, normal so they can take out their ‘pocket money’ out. I remember myself hanging around the letterbox waiting for my giro to hit the floor and then rushing to the Post Office to cash it.

The show run for only 12 episodes usually centre on Pincey and Billy establishing a business funded with their dole cheques and any cash in hand money they could get together. Most of the plots were driven by Pincy with Billy doing little more than following round as his lackey, voicing only the occasional disapproval. Despite not being a rollicking laugh riot, there's enough humour to give the show a breezy, laddish charm taking the better plots into account, one well worth a visit.

Reality TV - The Raft

I am a scaredy cat adventurer! I would never do anything adventurous but I admire those that can. I suppose I am a kind of camp follower from a distance, a great distance. I’m really fascinated in extreme rowing and often daydream about say rowing around the world so much I have actually planned it in my mind.

Over the years, I have followed the rowing race around the UK and across Atlantic, Pacific Oceans, and that the moment I am following a group of four woman crossing the Pacific. The team plan to row 8,446 miles from America to Australia with a couple of stops during the trip to re-stock and make any repairs. See Website

The reason for this blog is simply that I came across what I thought was a really unusual television show called The Raft’. The reality show is one of the craziest I have come across but although in theory they are not alone in the middle of the ocean, they have a support boat with them. There is a production crewmember/cameraman is on the raft who is not allowed to interact with the contestants. I am not sure if he were on the raft during dinnertime with two starving people, it would be a tad awkward.

The programme broadcasted by National Geographic Channel and I am unsure if it has made its UK debut on the channel I watched via the internet.

The premise of the show is that two pairs of strangers are dumped into the ocean released a hundred miles or more apart in the midst of the mysterious Bermuda Triangle. They then have to clamber into a life raft. They then have six days to try to reach land with their meagre supplies trying to find a way to make a lure and catch a meal.

I watched the first episode and on one raft (yellow), a lobster fisherman and a travel writer faced off an aggressive shark attack and a lack of food and water. They did manage to catch a few tiny fish and that was about it. However, when one of them fell ill they were forced to call in the mothership for a rescue. On the other raft, a scoutmaster and a cruise ship singer had the same kind of problems food wise and they discovered their water pump is missing a crucial valve. With the hunger biting, they made two attempts to salvage debris from the sea. First some coconuts that were uneatable and later a black bag that was full with rubbish but they did make it to landfall.

Interesting as it was they would be no cannibalism has we watched them all roll around in hunger that cameraman must have been looking tasty. Also, I was disappointment there was no mysterious fog leading to a hidden island full of pirates or a gateway to another time or universe.

The Medusa Touch - Film Review

I remember seeing this film at the cinema and it always stuck with me. The film centres on novelist John Morlar played by Richard Burton who is one of my favourite actors.

French detective Brunel (Lino Ventura), who is on secondment to Scotland Yard and assigned to investigate the murder of John Morlar. He discovers the victim is still alive in spite of his severe injuries and is rushed to hospital. With the help of Morlar's journals and Dr. Zonfeld (Lee Remick), a psychiatrist Morlar was seeing, Brunel reconstructs Morlar's past life.

In flashbacks, we see Morlar’s life full of the inexplicable catastrophes and the sudden deaths of people he disliked or who offended him. Burton’s character grew up believing himself to be an individual capable of causing disaster. As a child, he kills his parents and causes his school to burn down. As an adult, he marries but it doesn't work out – his wife ends up hating him and the child she eventually has is a monster. Dr. Zonfeld scoffs at his explanation, that he can make things happen.

To prove his powers Morlar crashes an airliner into a London office tower with his powerful telekinetic abilities. When he threatens a disaster would befall a manned spacecraft again, Dr. Zonfeld is not convinced. However, while watching the problems unfold on the TV she now realises just how powerful Morlar is and rushes to his home, tries to stop him from killing the astronauts in the spacecraft, bashing his skull in with a blunt object.

Richard Burton as John Morlar

Brunel eventually figures out that Zonfeld attempted to kill Morlar, and confronts her. She admits to attempting to murder him but without enough evidence, Brunel does not arrest her right away. Later, Brunel returns to Dr. Zonfeld's office, discovering her body, she had committed suicide, leaving a note where she can't live in a world where Morlar is also, and apologizing to Brunel for leaving the mess for him to deal with.

In the meantime, Brunel discovers Morlar mentioned in one of his journals about a cathedral being built and how he will punish the hypocrisy of those praying there to God but caring nothing about the suffering he inflicts. From his hospital bed, Morlar manages to bring down the cathedral on the "unworthy heads" of a VIP congregation attending the fund raising event for the crumbling building's restoration. Morlar seems able to keep himself alive by sheer willpower. An enraged Brunel runs from the collapsing cathedral to the hospital, where he tries to kill Morlar to end the destruction, Morlar writes on a pad the name of his next target: a nuclear power station.

The Medusa Touch gave Burton’s career a bit of a lift after a number of frankly underwhelming film roles inclueding such films as (Exorcist II: The Heretic). He was forced to take these roles mostly to pay off the debts incurred by his second failed marriage to Liz Taylor and his ongoing battle with the bottle. Burton was temporarily sober for the duration of filming Burton totally owns every scene he is in.

There is also a fine supporting cast of familiar British actors including Michael Horden, Gordon Jackson, and a pre Sherlock Holmes Jeremy Brett. The dialogue is intelligent with plenty of meaty lines for Burton to get his teeth into, the cinematography is beautiful with nice location work, and the editing is crisp.

Awards ceremony with a differences … the AVN’s

Bank Holiday Monday, stuck at home and TV is boring I feel the need to take myself away and find something that would pick me up. I check out my friendly streaming site hoping to find a stream of the ‘Red Nose USA’ show from the other day.

As I went down the list of shows, my eye caught a glimpse of the AVN Award Show on offer. I have blogged some pictures from the event before but I have never watched it and I found myself intrigued enough to check it out.

The AVN’s are the porn industries ‘Oscars’ and I am a sucker for an award show so I sat back to see if I could be entertained. I have watched many red carpets in my time but nothing like this. It looked like any other event I have seen before but the questions were a bit more probing. Dana DeArmond and Karlie Montana were hosting the red carpet and I can’t say I have ever seen any of their work before but there interviewing technique was ok, they did their job. I learn some interesting facts and things about the ‘stars’ walking the red carpet, very interesting really. I don’t think when Meryl Streep is interviewed on the red carpet she had slept with the interviewees.

Danielle Stewart opened the show, again someone else I have never heard of before who I thought was the host of the night, but she was the comedy turn. Some of her jokes were good if close to the knuckle and I later learnt she was a stand-up comedian. I should have known she was not a porn star with such a normal sounding name.

The actual hosts were pornstar Alexis Texas and Tommy Pistol see what I mean about the names. Time to dish out the award and there were a lot of them but only the ‘biggy’s’ were in the hour show. First, out of the trap was the ‘Best Girl/Girl Sex Scene’ and has I watch through the nominees I saw a few names I did recognise but they didn’t win. That accolade when to Gabriella Paltrova & Remy LaCroix from the movie Gabi Gets Girls. Best this best that was to come and endless lines of pretty young things coming on stage to do the normal, thank you mum, dad etc. How happy would their parents be is my question?

I was not interested in the male awards so I fast-forwarded through them.

Sophie Dee

There were a few Brit winners and losers with Samantha Bentley a winner in the Best Sex Scene in a Foreign-Shot Production maybe mummy and daddy would be proud. Someone I do no, in the sense that I know who she is, Welsh porn star Sophie Dee, I blogged her before she missed out on the fans vote for ‘Best Boobs’ but in the world of silicon was always going to be a tough one. A Brit was inducted into the AVN Hall of Fame, Joanna Jet, her stage name, who is a trans woman and a porn actress, model and director.

My curiosity spiked I wondered if there was a British equivalent so I did a google search and there it was ‘The UK Adult Film and Television Awards’. However, it is no longer celebrated due to lack of sponsors and bad planning and promotion in fact the last time the British porn stars partied was back in 2008.

I love Eurovision

Well maybe ‘love’ is a bit strong it’s the voting I really love. Even back in the days when the voting was generally fair and about the music you still have some neighbour love-ins. With the rise of the eastern bloc vote becoming a reality now, everyone seem to vote for a friend or neighbours.

This year there will be a little novelty with the Australians invading on a one off invite. It has gone beyond what we regard as Europe with the end of the cold war. The floodgates opened in the 90s with the eastern bloc on mass looking to join the party, Russia and Albania were just a few, and that was the reason for semi-finals due to the number of countries wanting to join.

It may be a music competition but as a rule not to my taste, a pretty face or wacky dance routine can be a winner for me over a song. We will have 40 turns on show tonight with some of these acts massive in their own countries but outside it is a case of ‘who are they’ and ‘who cares’.

The Russia singer Polina Gagarina is one of the favourites to win and is expected to win the contestant with the most boos. Rumour has it that the organisers of the Eurovision Song Contest are installing "anti-booing" technology for the final after last year’s Russian singers was roundly booed. It must be Russia president Vladimir Putin hell winning the prize of hosting the competition with all the anti-gay ‘propaganda’ spouted by the government and its supporters. Besides being some great entertainment, it’s very popular within the LGBT (Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) community. A part of me hopes they win so the anti-gay issues with in Russia could be highlighted even more.

What about the UK entrant! Well I have heard the song and I kind of like it but it won’t do much when the voting starts. We (Brits) seem to be roundly hated by everyone and we can’t vote for ourselves so I can’t see us getting any twelve points. Even if we could vote for ourselves, I doubt the panel or whatever would give us the top points anyway.

Other bands or artist to look out for is the Finish punk band, Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (PKN) whose members are four middle-aged, mentally handicapped men. The Spanish singer is a WAG (wives and girlfriends) of a sportsman, normally a footballer/soccer player. Singer Edurne Garcia is Manchester United goalkeeper David De Gea's girlfriend and one of the hot favourites to win Eurovision. Some guy from Sweden had been favourites to win Eurovision since day one, but he is no longer a runaway win according to the bookies, he has competition.

Then we had Terry Wogan (Sir) and his tongue in cheek commentary today it is Graham Norton carrying the baton and doing just as well in the job. All told, the BBC are giving over three and a half hours out of their schedule and if you add the Eurovision quiz before the main show four and a half hours in total. A big commitment and the biggest live show on TV not including the likes of Comic Relief, Children in Need, and the royal stuff.

Game of Thrones a rape to far

Not sitting on the fence with this one, I love ‘Game of Thrones’ for me it is a must watch TV experience. In this episode, concluded on Monday with a wedding between the characters Ramsay Bolton (Iwan Rheon) and Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner).There is a growing call to boycott the series after the popular character Sansa was raped on her wedding night.

In a scene that follows, Ramsay sexually assaults Sansa while he forces a third character, Theon (Alfie Allen) who she grew up with to watch. The rape is primarily portrayed through sound and through Theon’s pained face reactions as he stands and watches on the orders of Bolton.

The rape scene in Monday’s episode of “Game of Thrones” was heavily criticised in the press and on social media, pointing out the rape scene between the two was not in the book. In a departure from yet another of George RR Martin’s books, the wedding should have been between someone disguised as Arya Stark, Sansa’s younger sister. If the purest insist the book should be followed, what we would have seen would have been much more disturbing.

In the book, Theon is made to actively participate in the rape and a dog is sexually forced on her at some point. I don’t think we need to go into too much more detail.

Did we need to see the scene? Maybe not because fans of the show would know the wedding night would be no bed of roses with the evil Ramsay Bolton who is on a par with the little sadistic shit Joffrey Baratheon who now resides in hell. It’s not like we were seeing the rape in any detail there have been worst sex scenes in the show and more graphic.

The actress playing Sansa Stark told the media on reading the script, “When I read that scene, I kinda loved it. I love the way Ramsay had Theon watching. It was all so messed up.”

She admitted she was hoping for a kinder new husband for her unfortunate character. "I thought the love interest was going to be like Jaime Lannister or somebody who would take care of me.

"But then I found out it was Ramsay and I'm back at Winterfell. I love the fact she's back home reclaiming what's hers. But at the same time she's being held prisoner in her own home.

"You can't get on his level. He's such a mentalist - there's no way of understanding his motives or his thinking.

"So this season it's also her trying to figure out his intentions and trying to please him.

"I think its going to be the most challenging season for me so far, just because it's so emotional for her"

Album Covers - Artwork

Every now and then, I flip through the racks at a second-hand shop or record shop I’ll come across an album I used to own and wish I still did, often by a band close to my heart. I am often tempted to put my hand in my pocket and make a purchase but nostalgia costs a lot more these days.

The late 70s-early 80s era is a particularly rich era for lavish artwork and interesting album covers. Artwork seemed every bit as important as the music contained inside and while the new music played, you'd pore over every detail of the sleeve, read each word, and study the design until the run-out groove crackled and popped to a stop. Today it’s a CD cover and a magnifying glass or a logo on a down load although some bands are going back to vinyl as the market picks up so we are seeing a return to interesting cover artwork.

There was quite a bit of sexism on some album covers one eye catching cover I remember was ‘Country Life’ by Roxy Music (see picture) as making one hot under the collar in 1974. Back then along with the album cover you could sometimes buy a poster of the artwork but has a fourteen year old there would be no way something like this could end up on my wall.

Being a Cardiff lad, I spent most of my money buying my albums at Spillers Records, which was a fantastic place. The times I’d flicked through the racks of albums looking for a gem I had read about in the musical press you probably could only find there. There would be albums cover and posters over the wall and to me it was better than going to an art gallery. I may have not liked the content of many of the albums but I always appreciated album artwork.

Music is a great form of expression, and so are album covers, the right ones. They over the years have frequently been targeted for censorship like the album I previously mentioned ‘Country Life’, banned in the USA but ok in the UK. It was reissued in America using the photo from the album's back cover, which featured only the trees. Some took it close to the edge while others would push it over the limits. Who would think the Beatles’ in 1966 would run foal of the censors with the infamous “butcher” cover of the album ‘Yesterday and Today’. In retaliation for their US record company putting the album out they submitted a brutal cover image (see picture), in which they appeared in butchers’ smocks covered with raw meat and body parts from baby dolls.

Below are six covers that I like but I could have picked many more and it does help if you enjoy the content of the album. They may not be the most flamboyant of covers. That I leave to the crazy world of Heavy Metal and the likes of ACDC, the only kind of music I don’t like and I mean don’t.

Get down with some Lovers Rock

Many of my Facebook and Twitter followers no my musical tastes are wide and varied. I have mentioned Two Tone and Ska before however I feel it is time to open the door on another musical style close to my heart.

Lovers Rock and there is not a head banger in sight.

Lovers rock is a style of reggae music with strong romantic overtones and content. Basically, it is love songs, which are universal in all kinds of music. However, in the mid-1970s, this new sound began to come out of London with its sound an offshoot of rocksteady that was performed by Jamaican vocal harmony groups like The Maytals. This was a British and Black sound that quickly spared hitting the airways thanks to the likes of John Peel and is late night radio show. He always had is ear to the ground, picking up on the new sounds and helping spreading it around the country.

More laid back and soulful than the seriously heavy roots sounds of reggae based around Jah and Babylon the Black British youth were looking to have something that was theirs. Picking 1976 and looking at the chants, you had the likes of Queen, Showaddywaddy, and Brotherhood of Man topping the chants with ABBA the big band of the year not really me has a follower.

This disgruntled section of society would have more than likely been listening to Ska and Rocksteady at home more than reggae, listening to the music of their parents. Being British born they may have not felt part of the roots and culture Jamaica sound. It would also be easier for the white youth and others to commit to this style of music who were not keyed into the heavy sound of reggae. Both Ska and Rocksteady were products of Jamaica and were popular with British youth, and would lead to the Two Tone explosion. The style had particular appeal amongst women and produced many female singers.

It was generally known as the first indigenous black British pop style with its light, airy productions and lyrics almost exclusively devoted to matters of the heart. The music was soon making waves in the home of reggae Jamaica when the likes of Dennis Brown and Gregory Isaacs returned to Jamaica taking the sound back with them. It wasn't long before the Jamaican's were back having embraced the sound.

There is so much to like about this music, so many great tunes but Janet Kay “Silly Games” covers all I like about this gene of music. She has a beautiful voice leading to the most beautiful Lovers Rock record ever made (that I’ve heard anyway) and was the biggest hit the genre produced, getting to No. 2 in the charts.

British Sandwich Week

Its British sandwich week and I could write about it all day because I love a sarnie. What can be better than the humble sandwich: bread, butter and a filling you like - it must be the people’s favourite lunchtime meal.

My tastes are pretty simple most meats will do me but I’m not too hot on all the fancy fillings. I do prefer white bread but for health reasons I have had to embrace wholemeal/brown bread but from time to time, I slip back over the wall and indulge in white bread. You always get conflicting views on white vs. brown bread. One-day white is good for you the next it isn’t but the nurse at my health practise tells me brown bread is better and maybe it is, but I don’t have to like it.

However, the use of mayonnaise has a spread it’s simply not British. Everywhere I go if I fancy a sarnie I have to check if there is any mayo because I hate the stuff. Even in a plain ham sandwich these days you can find the spread is mayo. Sandwich spread should be either butter or margarine.

I am not counting bacon, sausages or gammon it goes without saying they would be top of any list of my favourite sandwiches. I regard a sandwich as something you throw together quickly opening the fridge door and minutes later it’s on the plate.

Therefore, what sandwich tickles my fancy and floats my boats - top of the tree is the ‘Ham Sandwich’ with the simple filling of tomato. Some good bread and a nice slice of ham with the aforementioned tomatoes is heaven in my book. I prefer butter to margarine but with a nod to my health, I use a light (less fat) butter spread. Not jumping to far from the tree Chicken and Tomato is another favourite with all the requirements as above. Another on my top five hit parade is Boiled Egg and Spam/Chopped Pork with Tomato I am very predictable and boring but I like what I like and you can see I like tomatoes.

My next sandwich is the most exotic in my arsenal tinned Red Salmon and Pickled Onions. Not cheap with a large tin of Red Salmon a fiver so you can bet it is an occasional treat in my household. Mash the salmon and the chopped up onions together placing the mixture between to pieces of fresh bread and eat away.

The return of BB

The Z-listers confessional

Its back to the dread of many including me as it singles the rise of more Z list celebrities looking to scratch their 5 minutes of fame. The return of Big Brother for how many weeks who knows but one thing for sure it will generate many column inches in the press.

Perusing the runners and riders, they would have all been out to shock the researchers in hope of making the show telling many porkies, which they will, denying when the rest of the house watches them later in the show. Some will tell the eager researchers they would be the contestants from hell, others will happily have sex on TV for that 5 seconds of fame. The theme is something to do with time hopefully tonight they walk through the door and be teleported to the end of the show.

The ‘Timebomb series’ will be occupied by 16 wannbes who will fight it out for the prize of winner and cash. One of the contestant has already had a ‘secret’ broken in the press – her dad is a drug smuggler according to the paper (The Daily Star) and we can expect more revelations over the coming weeks on other housemates. Another contestant is worried before going in the house is a Christian model with what she describes has ‘a high sex drive’, is worried her past antics with the male of the species might come back to haunt her so why the hell would you enter the house.

Someone called Jade does not believe in monogamy, which must have got the show makers hot under the collar with the thoughts she may have more than one boyfriend in the house. There is a wannabe Prime Minister and a wannabe Katie Hopkins or Helen Wood, both of whom are detested for one reason or another but did well in the house.

Fans for the show may say they want ‘peace and love’ but really, what the makers, media, and most fans want is nastiness and downright unpleasantness with a bit of control violence thrown into the mix. A bit of will they won’t they sex intrigue also helps with the ratings.

I won’t be watch but I may catch the ‘Bit on the Side’ catch-up show from time to time.

Film Review - What's New Pussycat

YouTube to the rescue during the wife’s two hour of soaps, Emmerdale followed by Coronation St, EastEnders, and a final dollop of Coronation St with a film for me to watch on the Laptop. One I have not seen in a while which is good.

What film could that be? Well it is a title of a Tom Jones song but not "Delilah". It just happens to be one of my favourites, “What's New Pussycat” which is also the title of the film.

The film introduces us to a notorious womanizer, fashion editor Michael James (Peter O'Toole), who women find irresistible. He decides to seek help with his problem his inability to commit to a relationship. He enlists the help of psychiatrist Dr. Fassbinder (Peter Sellers), who doesn’t seem to be without his own problems. Michael tells him he is desperate to remain faithful to his fiancé Carole (Romy Schneider) in a world of beautiful woman. Dr. Fassbinder is infatuated with a patient, Capucine (Renée Lefebvre) who as a secret longing for Mr James herself leading to complications.

Also in the film is Woody Allen as Victor Shakapopulis playing Michael’s friend. He is attracted to Carole, and is concerned he can't attract women, even though he is an "undresser" at a striptease club. With her parents about to visit, she puts Michael on the spot demanding they either marry or break up. He decides on one more dalliance and while visiting Victor at the strip club, he falls for Liz Bien (Paula Prentiss), a beautiful stripper given to casual suicide attempts, but she is only interested in reading her poetry to him.

However, he soon becomes involved with Capucine, whose cold exterior hides a passionate woman. In an attempt to make Michael jealous Carole encourages the hapless Victor. After Michael and Carole spend an enjoyable evening with Carole's parents, they decides at last to marry and settle down.

When Michael books into a quaint hideaway hotel in the French countryside catastrophe happens when all his love interests turn up and just about everybody else. On the way to the hotel a somewhat mad parachutist, Rita (Ursula Andress), lands in Michael’s car, lucky man. With everyone in the hotel it soon becomes like a British farce with a climactic chase in and out of the bedrooms, doors slamming with woman in various stages of undress. There is also a mad go-kart chase before the happy ending marriage.

Its a very funny film, well I liked it anyway.

End of a era for the catalogue

It was sad to read the end of the Littlewoods catalogue is nigh, killed off by the all-encompassing internet. The article said it has been around for 80 years, it must have been in my life for 40 of those years.

I can’t remember when we got our first catalogue I think I was like 13 or something funny thing was back then mum would rather buy a bike at Halfords, pay weekly there, and paid it off before getting your hands on bike. Mum was soon to embrace the use of the catalogue but still prefer dealing with shops.

It was always like Christmas when you open your door and the catalogue was laying on the floor. As a young lad, I would go straight to the back and the toys, well that is a bit of a lie. Somehow, the page would always open on the ladies underwear, strange wasn’t it. As I grew up, I was soon to make use of it (not the underwear) as I got some money in my pocket one of my best purchase was a two-man dinghy. Hours of fun on the River Taff and later it helped with the more expensive items that comes with family life.

The catalogue followed me into marriage and helped with family things until one day we were forced to part company. It was a messy break up that ended up in court but I am glad to say we became friends again. The internet is the new catalogue much easier no having to post your order and wait weeks. Now it’s on the phone or more likely to be on the computer with next day delivery on most items.

That the future for all catalogues really it's also hitting town centres around the country with click and collect getting more and more popular. Soon someone with open a shop where it will only be click and collect.

Cameron takes out three

Like a lumberjack, clearing a forest the election results are causing heads rolling in the losing parties. It is time for the leaders to ‘hit the road jack’ some to the backbenches others into the cold dark world of the European parliament.

First, to fall on the sword was leader of UKIP Nigel Farage who said if he failed to win the seat of South Thanet he would resign. True to his word, and no sooner than the result was known he resigned as leader of UKIP. He will still be a member of the European Parliament and doing is best to drag the UK out of Europe.

Nick Clegg after watching his party massacred did the only thing left to him and resigned as Lib Dem leader. The former Deputy Prime Minister in the coalition admitted his party had suffered a nightmare' in which just eight of their 57 MPs survived. He fared better himself compare to some by regaining is parliamentary seat while every single cabinet member from Mr Clegg's wing of the coalition was dramatically wiped out in the party's worst defeat in its election history, including Danny Alexander and Vince Cable among others.

Finally, Ed Miliband who had to go mainly because of the size of the defeat if it was closer he may have been able to hang on. He goes back to the backbenches with the tag it should have been the other brother and his geek label with plenty of time to think about where it all went wrong. Now the real in fighting starts, which could further rip the heart of the Labour Party with the unions throwing around block votes.

The unions give us Ed while most of the party wanted his brother David who was seen to be to close in his belief to former Prime Minister Tony Blair who had few fans among the unions.

Bad night for Labour

On his way out?

The announcement of the exit poll shocked me and predicted a Conservative win. Better than all the polls leading up to the election. They were on line to be largest party and only 10 short on an overall majority.

The first result picked me up a bit, a win for Labour but the night was staring me in the face it was going to be a blue night. So I made my way to bed planning an early rise.

I should have stayed in bed because the night belonged to the Conservative Party who not only won the night they are also on line to win outright. The polls leading up to election night got it very wrong with the exit poll showing the real feeling of voting Britain. While up in Scotland the polls were spot on with the predicted landslide for the SNP destroying the Labour party in the process who at the time of writing had won a single seat.

In my stomping ground of Wales, we saw the Tories make inroads gaining three seats, one from Labour, and two from Lib Dems. While my local MP Kevin Brennan (Labour) won the seat with a small decrease in his support. All three of the bigger parties lost support in the Cardiff West Parliamentary constituency with the big winner in terms of support were UKIP followed by Plaid Cymru who beat UKIP into third behind Labour and Conservatives.

The blame game is already under way with many Labour representatives pointing the finger at the Tories scaremongering about the Scottish control of a Labour government. I think the collapse of the Lib Dems is more to do with it and a sprinkling of tactical voting on top of Labour failing to win over the voters Scotland comes to mind. Then there is the Ed Miliband factor! He has never been popular with voters and often ridiculed has the wrong brother and without charisma.

What next! Five years of the Tories which doesn’t excite me but the highlight of the night for me was the end of maverick respect leader George Galloway. Hate is a strong word but when it comes to Mr Galloway, I can live with it.

Polls mean nothing now

Seven in the bed only made for one

Based on the polls it looks like no one party will win the Election so what does that mean? It may well turn into a mad house because it may take more than two parties to make a coalition. Everyone in any possible coalition will have their wants list of goodies in particular, money, and lots of it.

A YouGov poll earlier predicted both Labour and the Tories would both tie with 276 seats leaving both 50 seats short. The same poll has the SNP on 51 meaning there is a possibility of the Lab/SNP coalition if the Labour leader Ed Miliband is inclined to progress along those lines. The Lib Dem could be a 23, meaning Tories could struggle to pass the 326 winning line because of the lack of support among the other parties.

Wales will be red again meaning of the four home nations only one will vote in a Labour victory. The Labour party have been the biggest party in wales since 1922.

I am not sure how the whole election is going to play out. If the Tories are the largest party and they cannot form a majority government, does that mean Labour has a go to see if they can? The Tories could try to go it alone but their Queens speech will surely be voted down so would we go back to the polls.

If Labour were the largest party, would they try to go it alone? Ed Miliband said as much recently there would be no deals, but will he stand by his word. We have heard some in the Labour party and their supporters demand a deal. His biggest supporter SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon tells everyone with in ear shot that it his is duty to form a coalition with the SNP.

All will become clear around 11pm tonight when the first of the results start coming in and give the statisticians something real to work from instead of polls. It’s not just about the election to Westminster the are also council seats up for grubs in England.

Polls are open so get out and vote

2010 exit poll

Polling booths are open but I don’t care I’m not voting today because I have already via post, yes I have a postal vote. If you haven’t voted f**k off you don’t have any right to moan about the result.

I am looking forward to the polls closing tonight because since the first time I voted in 1979 I have a bit of a tradition on election night. I stay up until the official winner is announced but last time I hit the sack early due to the fact it was going to be a hung parliament. So I have a decision to make for tonight.

The exit poll in 2010 suggested a hung parliament with the Conservative Party the largest party kind of spoiling my night and by two o’clock, I made my way to bed. It was on the cards there was to be a coalition by then anyway so why stay up.

I predict tonight’s exit poll will announce no party in overall control and Scotland voting SNP with the Tories being the largest party in Westminster. I don’t fancy listening to politicians talking about coalitions and what if. We will have days and days of that political chat to come with the darkened room deals to make.

According to the bookies, the first result in tonight is likely to be Houghton & Sunderland South, which is set to be announced at 11pm followed by the neighbouring constituency of Sunderland Central. My constituency of Cardiff South and Penarth is expected to be announced around 2:30am Friday morning.

I could park myself on the settee with a blanket, stay up, and watch the results come in but it is very unlikely we will know who wins until late tomorrow. So is it worth sitting up with a plate of sandwiches’ and a can or two of pop or go to bed.

No Offence - TV Review

Out of the same stable as Shameless written by Paul Abbott Channel’s 4 new show ‘No Offence’, gave me an almighty belly laugh in the opening minutes and didn’t disappoint.

After a bit of a domestic in a taxi a woman kicks her boyfriend out into the street and then spots a murder suspect. Making known she was a police officer she commandeers the taxi telling the driver to ‘follow at man’. Taking off her heels, she give chase. After a short chase through the streets, the cocky suspect looks round, trips up falling to the ground and a coach drives over his head. She misses out on the promotion she was hoping for due to the above-mentioned head squishing incident.

The humour was funny sometimes barely giving you time to take a breath with the crisp dialogue helping to boot. There are moments that were more serious it is a cop show after all. The cast with the material fed to them were brilliant in both the light and darker moments. Like Shameless, it’s based in Manchester where they work out of the Friday Street station.

One minute you'll be watching a comical scene in which police officers accidently overhear feisty Detective Vivienne Deering on the toilet, and the next you'll be watching a young female victim being dragged from a lake.

Onto the storyline, a possible serial killer targeting young women with Down’s syndrome or who look like they do – takes the drama up another level and you forget about the comedy for a slight second. It's a controversial topic but because it's so cleverly written and constructed (and because of the snippets of comedy) it doesn't feel as heavy as it sounds on paper. They’ve made an hour of riotously enjoyable television and I will be up for the next episode.

Election Tele

Time to plan what I fancy watching Election wise over the next few days.

Tonight Charlie Brooker’s Election Wipe 9pm on BBC 2 a lighter, funny look at the election. That will create a minor problem it clashes with Channel Fours ‘The Last Leg Alternative Election night’ at 9:30pm another favourite. I could watch the ‘Last Leg’ on C4 +1 but again that messes with Newsnight on BBC, decisions.

Tomorrow night is just as bad with lots of stuff clashing. On Dave, there is a mockumentary about the Pub Landlord Al Murray. The well-known British comedian is standing in the general election for the hotly contested Kent constituency of South Thanet. Where he will be taking on the leader of UKIP, Nigel Farage, and the programme will be screened 10pm.

Alternative Election Night, Thursday, 9pm, C4 Jeremy Paxman and David Mitchell will take a different slant on events, including special themed episodes of The Last Leg and Gogglebox. After mid-night Paxman will then take the Channel 4 election programme through the night.

I really fancy watching ‘The Vote’ on More 4, which is broadcast live 90 minutes before the polls close. Set in a polling station and starring Catherine Tate among others, it sounds very interesting. It is live from London’s Donmar theatre at 8.25pm.

Come 9:55pm the only place I want to be is watching BBC 1 for the build up to the exit poll and then settle back and watch the election unfolded.

Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads - No Hiding Place

Terry and Bob

I been digging around on YouTube all afternoon on a memory road trip sparked off by a post by a friend Jo on Facebook. She dodged a result, be it a game of rugby to watch the game later, just like in ‘No Hiding Place’ one of my all-time favourite episode of ‘Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads’ first broadcast back in 1973.

A short lesson on who are the Likely Lads. It is about two main characters James Bolam as Terry and Rodney Bewes as Bob. They are life-long friends from Newcastle who had been separated for five years. This was comically due to Terry (mistakenly) joining the Army. Bob had joined before Terry but he was kicked out for bad feet leaving Terry who joined to be with his mate left in. They meet again on the train to Newcastle after Terry returns after he is demobbed but that is a whole other episode.

The lads (Terry and Bob) try to avoid learning the result of an England v Bulgaria football match before the TV highlights are shown that evening. Bob takes Terry to the hairdressers where he feels uncomfortable in the surrounding of a unisex hairdressers where the blokes who work there must be gay according to Terry. Enter Flint (Brian Glover) who asks if they had heard what happened in Bulgaria. Upon which Terry and Bob bolt out of the shop with Flint following them out shouting 2-0.

They take refuge in the pub where they quickly figure out the game was about to kick-off meaning Flint was winding them up. He (Flint) then turns up at the pub with the lads begging him not to spoil their day. He tells them they would not be able to go the rest of the day would out finding out about the result. Where upon a bet is made £10, a fiver each. Flint then switches on the radio and Terry and Bob run for the door.

There next stop was Terry’s sisters but a phone call soon had them out the door as they guess it was Flint. There next hiding place was a church but again they are tracked down by Flint. Has he is about to tell the lads a priest walks in giving Bob and Terry the opportunity to make a quick exit leaving Flint to explain what they were doing.

After a day of near misses including a run in with one legged news vender, they reach Bob’s empty new house about 20 minutes before the game. We find out Terry had seen a newspaper headline that says "England F...". When Flint tracks them down to Bob's new house, an angry Terry agrees to pays him off it they don’t tell them the score.

Duly they stump up the £10, Terry borrowing £5 his part of the bet from Bob. Has they sit back to watch the game the announcer says we are off the international ice-skating championship after the England v Bulgaria game was postponed due to a waterlogged pitch: "England – flooded out..."

A classic and has they say ‘they don’t make them like that these days’ which is so true indeed.

See - No Hiding Place