Must see TV - Week beginning 01/04/2017 - My Choice

It has been a while since I through my hat into the ring and compiled a weekly look at my viewing for next week. I have been spending time chewing through box sets and using YouTube to check out older stuff like ‘Space Above and Beyond’ which I had not seen in years.

TV pickings for next week were pretty thin on the ground but still enough to keep me happy. I have decided not to pick the must see TV event on Friday 9pm on Sky Living. The last every ‘Bones’ which I will be reviewing next week.

Saturday - Sky Cinema Premiere – Don’t Breathe 10pm

Hopefully an interesting horror film it has been a while since I felt the need to jump behind the settee and hide. In this film, we find three friends plotting to end their money problems by committing a burglary at the home of a blind recluse.

However, the heist quickly goes awry when they discover that their target is concealing a horrifying secret -- and that he is not as harmless as they had thought and fight to survive.

Sunday – YouTube – Colditz: Tweedledum

If there is one standout episode of the BBC 1970s drama Colditz, it was “Tweedledum”. Wing Commander Marsh (Michael Bryant) helps in the hospital and before the war worked in a mental institute. He comes up with an idea to escape Colditz by pretending he is mentally ill so to be repatriated home. I have not seen this for a while I have been saving it and tonight is the night for a viewing

Marsh does a very thorough job with his bizarre, disruptive behaviour and continually annoys everyone, who are unaware of the scheme. Hauptmann Ulmann the Security Officer at Colditz is not convinced and asks a Corporal whose brother suffered with mental illness to observe Marsh closely. The Swiss authority examine him and even the camp Doctor is uncertain whether Marsh is simply pretending to be insane. Marsh has done such a convincing job that he is successfully repatriated to the UK, but when a letter from his wife arrives at the camp, we find Marsh has been committed to a mental hospital for long-term care. Colonel Preston immediately forbids any further escape attempts along the same lines. Michael Bryant was nominated for a Bafta for his performance.

Monday – BBC1 - The Sheriffs Are Coming 11am

This is not some new western far from it we are looking at the work of high court enforcement officers, also known as sheriffs, as they strive to retrieve cash for members of the public that are owed money.

The programme explores a number of cases where individuals and business owners have won judgments against third parties but have been unable to retrieve any of the money awarded to them. After transferring their judgments to the High Court for enforcement, they Sheriffs try to get them their money back and take property in lieu of payment.

Tuesday – Discovery Channel – Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail 9pm

I am a big fan of the TV show Gold Rush and have always enjoyed the fortunes of Parker Schnabel. At the age of 22, Parker has already struck it rich in the Klondike by mining over $13 million worth of gold. But despite his financial success, he has always wondered – is he tough as the original gold mining stampeders?

In the 3-part docu-series he will be joined by Cameramen James Levelle (who has known Schnabel for years), foreman Rick Ness and wilderness guide Karla Ann, who once worked with Schnabel as a rock truck driver on a adventure of a life time.

Wednesday – BBC1 – MasterChef 8pm

It is back, I have been enjoying the action in the kitchen, and there will be eight new competitors for this outing tonight. I think the ‘MasterChef Market’ has been a great new idea with the competitors shopping to make their first plate of food to impress judges John and Gregg hoping not to be one of the three sent home after this initial round.

The remaining five then have to create a two-course to impress the judges and a panel of form winners and finalists from previous years.

Thursday - Sky Atlantic – The Trip To Spain 10pm

Comics Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon are back on the road and are taking a trip around Spain this time. The big change after two highly successful series of The Trip on BBC2, the third series will be broadcast on Sky Atlantic on a channel swap. The previous series saw Coogan and Brydon travel on restaurant tours of northern England and Italy.

The series, created and directed by Michael Winterbottom, has seen Coogan and Brydon travel on restaurant tours of northern England and Italy. They will be visiting to top restaurants in Cantabria, the Basque region, Aragon, Rioja, Castile-La Mancha and Andalusia and you can expect plenty of comic swordplay between the two.

Friday – BBC1 – The Graham Norton Show 10:35pm

Thank god he is back Graham Norton with is Friday night talk show after a short break. The thing with the Norton show will pull in the top A-listers. This show does not disappoint with Michael Caine and Samuel L Jackson with promoting their film ‘Going in Style’. Also o on the settee plugging their current BBC show ‘Decline and Fall’ are Jack Whitehall and Gemma Whelan with music from Take That.

Loading the Jukebox – 5. Just A Feeling - (Bad Manners)

At the time of the Two Tone explosion into the charts in the late seventies early eighties Bad Manners were seen as the comical side of the scene. Their over the top videos and the massive presents of lead singer Buster Bloodvessel in his boiler suit or dressed as a Can, Can girl was the mainstay of the band.

“Just A Feeling” was there fourth single released, reaching 13 in the UK charts, which was a surprised to me with the quality of the single. It reminds me of great moments in time I do not think the charts ever meant more to me than this time. I love the horns and the bounce along music it is infectious.

Brexit begins official once the letter is delivered

Nice to see someone writing a letter

So Brexit begins now Theresa May as triggered Article 50 with two years of political chatter even longer if you listen to some, which is not going to be pretty. All I am reading and listening to is news about the massive divorce bill we are told we will have to pay. If you believe what is reported, the European Union plan to make our leaving as tough as possible.

After years of calling to leave when the time came to make my mark on the voting slip in my words I chickened out voting to stay. Where I am different from most stayers I am not crying foul and looking to overturn the vote, have a re-vote or anything else I just want them to get on with it. The amount demanded is only £50billion with Germany, who are the European Union along with France their poogle leading the way with demands for the money. Germany has warned it will take Britain to the International Court of Justice if it refuses to pay its £50bn Brexit ‘divorce bill’.

“The UK government will refuse to hand Brussels £50 billion to pay for its divorce from the European Union”, MP David Davis Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union insisted.

However, I reckon Germany owes a shed load of money and with interest; it could be more than £50billion. The UK are reported to have cancelled huge sums of reparations after the Second World War from the Germans maybe the British Government should make the journey to the International Court of Justice.

If it was not for this tiny island taking a stand against Germany after turning down an offer of peace after Dunkirk and the fall of France the whole of Western Europe would be speaking German and eating sausages today. This country stood to fight another day and later freeing many from under the German boot. Maybe a bill of freedom should be written up, a thank you payment.

Before we had what we have now I remember the simple days of the Common Market, a trading club before politicians smelt the mother of all gravy trains with endless cash. I find it difficult to see the remaining 27 members agreeing on anything, it is going to be hell in the negotiation room where we could offer them Scotland for freedom.

I am sure the Prime Minister will want to settle the rights of Europeans living and working in the UK but it does swing both ways with a deal for UK residents working and living in Europe.

Space Station 76 - Film Review

Probably one of the strangest movies I have seen in a while but still I liked it. It is not, however, in any way a comedy as advised I could barely find a laugh myself.

The film was full on retro 70's sci-fi and looked its age it could have been Space 1999 or UFO two early 70s TV shows fairly popular. From a dumpy looking shuttle to a space station looked like something made on ‘Blue Peter’. It was like being transported back to the seventies.

With all of the characters struggling with their own problems none of which are resolve it felt like the first episode of a TV series.

Led by moustached, boozy captain Glenn (Patrick Wilson), an alcoholic sexist. He is deep in the closet, which explains why he grimaces all the time and snaps at people. He promoted his last second-in-command to a plum job so suddenly that the whole station speculated on his motives.

The rest of the station’s inhabitants are a dysfunctional bunch. The strained marriage of mechanic Ted (Matt Bomer) and nutritionist Misty (Marisa Coughlan) is compounded by the latter’s horrid parenting skills with their daughter Sunshine (Kylie Rogers), and by her not-so-clandestine affair with Steve (Jerry O’Connell), a new father who has married to the materialistic Donna (Kali Rocha).

The close-quarters conflict is exacerbated by the arrival of Jessica (Liv Tyler), whose position as co-pilot threatens the chauvinistic Glenn, and who soon finds herself drawn to—and subtly wooed by—the unhappy Ted.

Be it Ted and Jessica bonding over his secret stash of marijuana (which he grows in the greenhouse quarters), or Misty venting her frustrations and unhappiness to a therapist robot that dispenses nothing but stock clichés based on keywords she speaks. Ted may not be getting any bedroom action but she is getting her fair share from Steve, a horny man-boy poor, while Ted is left to knock one out in frustration.

Yes, the movie is on a very tight budget and the sets are cheesy at best, but hey, it is portrayed in the 70s and it supposed to look that way. The script is pretty good and well written.

Sunday Crush – Ann Aston – The Golden Shot

She bounced into my life in the early seventies although she was on the screen in the show before I developed my crush due to the lack of the emerging hormones. She was a Sunday early evening lovely and girl Friday of one of my all-time entertainment shows “The Golden Shot”.

In the late 1960s and early 1970s, “The Golden Shot” was a popular game show on ITV and while hosts changed, the one constant was Ann Aston. I am not going to bore you with full details of the show, because it is irrelevant but there is a short description below just to give you an idea.

The show was first aired when I was 6/7 and girls meant nothing to me other than a playmate I was totally innocent and about 2 or 3 years away from my first kiss. However, it came to an end in the mid-seventies I was fully aware why Miss Aston set my heart a flutter. From her blonde hair, fulsome bosom her smiley personality all lead to her becoming a crush. I cannot remember why one became the other but girls and woman were just different, I notice more about them.

That the time she was all over the press but the delectable and ditzy Miss Aston will be remember on “The Golden Shot” has the less than brainy assistant. Her job was to check out where the bolts had hit the targets and total up the scores looking gorgeous.

This show would see contestants mostly be telephone callers on the show, (phones in your home were rare in my street), and they would play the game by instructing a blindfolded cameraman to adjust their aim in order to fire a 'telebow' (a crossbow tied to the camera) at targets.

The TV That Made Me

Can say why I ended up watching the above TV show this afternoon and I had no idea what it was about but hey it was something to watch. It turned out to be some afternoon television show, presented by Brian Conley.

Brian Conley journeys through the fantastic world of television with celebrities as they choose the TV moments that have shaped their lives. Pam Ayres the funny poet was on I found her funny anyway during the 70’s early 80s she was on the tele a lot with her earthy poems. I decide I would also look back at my TV life, moments in time that meant something to me.

My first TV memory

That is easy “Watch with Mother” morning TV and it was about the only thing on the tele for young children who were not in school. In the afternoon after the news the next instalment of “Watch with Mother”.

In the morning, you got the Flowerpot Men and Andy Pandy then later Tales of the Riverbank with Hammy Hamster and his best mate Roderick the Water Rat they were real animals given human voices.

Family Favourite

The Generation Game with Bruce Forsyth was a highlight of early Saturday night, mum loved it, and the more the contestant squirmed the more she liked it. Four couples would fight it out with the goal of sitting in front of the conveyor belt and memorising toys and appliances and those they remember they take home.

They wickle down the four couples with games and tasks with Bruce bouncing around. The games/tasks like keeping plates turning or making sometime after watching the professional do it and they would vote on them. The last two couples do a sketch/play with Forsyth and TV stars of the day throwing in a helping hand and one couple winning.

Must see TV

Being a bit older and political there were two TV shows I would class as must see TV. They are GBH and Boys of the Black Stuff and in the end choosing the latter.

Boys from the Black Stuff is more than just a story. It is a snapshot of a special time in a special place. Liverpool in the 1980's could be a bleak and despairing place, with only the common threads of unemployment and humour keeping spirits alive. There were many other Cities around the country like Liverpool.

The story centres on the struggle of a ragged band of workers trying to make ends meet. On the way, we see scams, subterfuge, corruption and the ongoing battle between the workers and the 'sniffers' (welfare benefit fraud investigators). It also manages to focus on characters, with all the cast giving magnificent performances, especially Bernard Hill as the deeply troubled Yosser Hughes.

Telly Obsession

Not an easy one I have many options as I have been around a good few years but it must be “When the Boat Comes In” a BBC drama. I have seen it umpteen times too many to count made easier with the birth and the growth of the internet.

This gritty Northern drama set in Newcastle just after the end of the Great War. It follows the trials of Ex-Sergeant Jack Ford and the Seaton family as they struggle with the problems of that time: The aftermath of the war, the great depression of the 1920's, trade union activists and an uncaring society. We see Jack go from soldier to a wealthy businessman who dines with a Duke but always remembers his roots and is friends. James Bolam as Jack Ford is outstanding, as is the whole cast throughout.

TV Crush

I loved the American TV show Rhoda and my TV Crush was the star of the show Valerie Harper. To me she was the all-American cougar and at the time, mature woman interested me. She was very easy on the eye and at the time became a fashion icon.

The show was a spin-off of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” which featured her Rhoda character as Mary's best friend and upstairs neighbour who worked as a window dresser, which she continued in Rhoda before setting up a window dressing business.

Just Because

The most embarrassing TV moment involved the first showing of “The History Man” I cannot remember why it was on but it was. Sitting there with mum there must have been something I wanted to watch. One thing mum was very uncomfortable about was lovey-dovey scenes on TV with her children in the room.

Her tolerance levels were low so when the opening scene was full on TV sex with all the noises, I was going red, and mum without a word got up and left the room.

Favourite comedy

This is so hard! Where do I start! Luck had it I was watching something, the other day. I happen to be watching a “Ripping Yarns” written by Michael Palin and Terry Jones of Monty Python fame so here is a massive tick for a favourite.

I was watching “The Testing of Eric Olthwaite” where (Palin) played the hero who was interested in rain fall, shovels and black pudding (his mother makes pudding so black, that even the white bits are black). His mother, father and sister try their best to avoid him with his father pretending to be French to stop is son talking about shovels. He just bores everyone to death so much so he wakes up one morning to find himself alone with is family gone.

Eric tries for a job in the local bank but is told he was to boring as he is about to leave a man robs the bank called Arthur, who takes Eric with him. They run for it and manage to escape. Arthur is about to shoot Eric, when the two of them discover how much they have in common: they are both interested in rain, shovels, and black pudding. They decide to form a gang together and gain fame and notoriety.

Nipple pasties wonder what they taste like

Not that I like coffee actually I am angry that companies like “Starbucks” and others are filling our City Centres with endless shops and the rubbish that comes with them. I don’t see any need to come up with gimmicks to get customers through the door they always seem to be doing good business when I walk by but even I can see the benefits of a new kind of coffee outlet opening around the States.

A coffee shop in Washington and there sister shop in Arizona has been luring customers with a very controversial unique selling point - a bikini dress code for staff. You might say the girls in ‘Hooters’ wear just a little bit more than a bikini and there are plenty of topless bars around the world it is obvious coffee would be next. Like with ‘Hooters’ there are always students looking for a job.

I can remember writing about topless barbers a while ago where the female of the species would cut your hair.

For the owner and entrepreneur Carlie Jo it has been a success, earning a five-star rating and is not unwilling to do a shift herself in the above business (see photo). On its website, the coffee chain proudly proclaims: 'As the first bikini barista shop in Arizona, we want to empower women to be, and feel good about, themselves. However, not everyone is happy in Arizona a local city councillor Mike Fagan who unsuccessfully tried to impose limitations on bikini barista stands, (this is a drive-thru). According to Fagan, the stand promotes the exploitation of women.

I am surprised ‘The Donald’ is not their best customer so he could letch at the girls now he lives in Washington while his wife lives in New York.

Some UK pasties

The bikini code only stretches to the bottoms for some of the staff who have taken to wearing nipple pasties. First, I have to say pasties in the UK are a totally different thing it is a savoury product we eat like a Cornbeef and Potato pastie. Now a waitress walking around with a couple of pasties on each nipples could get me excited, ok drooling, for the pasties.

I am not sure if they employ males some do but imagine your disappointment pulling up to the window and some bloke is standing there. The fact when girls are serving the takings are up but we are unlikely to see it happen in the UK as it would be to cold.

The Devil's Rock - Film Review

While wifey Glenys was watching Ant n Dec last night I took myself on to YouTube to see if I could find a film and I only did and something I had never seen before “The Devil's Rock” (2011).

Wow! Was I ever wrong about this movie? The idea works! Keeping me on the edge of my seat, suitably entertained, creeped-out, and wondering what would come next from start to finish. A WWII backdrop for this horrifying adventure/thriller in which two Kiwi (i.e. New Zealand) commandos, Grogan and Tane infiltrate a Nazi-occupied Channel Islands fortress to sabotage its artillery emplacements on the eve of D-Day.

From the start though, something is clearly amiss. Shrieks fill the air when they enter the bunker which was eerily deserted but for freshly mutilated bodies of German soldiers -lots of them. It turns out the Nazis were conducting research into the occult in an attempt to find a strategic military advantage over the Allies.

The Nazi colonel in charge, Meyer is a very nasty Nazi who kills Tane but for a brief appearance in the film later. Meyer is used a book of black magic to raise a demon, who can shapeshift and spends most of the film looking like Grogan’s dead wife for obvious reasons. The demon is a crafty and a devious piece of work with a taste for human flesh but is held captured by Meyer.

Meyer needs to convince Grogan to help him send the demon back to hell only if they can trust one another. Grogan and Meyer agree to cooperate to send the demon back to hell it means delving into some black magic.

But the demon has other designs, which include eating human entrails and achieving spontaneous climaxes from any bloodletting she can provoke between Grogan and Meyer while subverting their agreement. Terrifying, but hellishly beautiful and nude, she alternately assumes the form of Grogan's dead wife Helena, as she attempts to seduce him and derail any attempt to vanquish her.

Like all films, there is an ending but you will have to watch it for that. There is a full copy on YouTube.

The Devil's Rock holds its own with three effective plot twists, competent acting, and convincing dialogue, and most of all, with memorably creative makeup effects and lots of gore.

My Film Rating

My Saturday Afternoon

BBC had a bloody afternoon of rugby on the TV but thank god, for Sky Sports offering West Brom v Arsenal for this neutral lover of football, soccer for my American readers but you must know what I am talking about when I say football. After Football Focus, which was on 30 minutes early and cut from an hour to half an hour just because of the eggchaser it was straight over to the build up to the football.

So I sat back with a plate of spam sandwiches and watched the game. It was not a good game for Arsenal and under pressure boss Arsène Wenger. Even from the air Arsenal boss Wenger was under fire with a plane flying over the ground with a banner reading: 'No contract. #WengerOut'. There was also a banner supporting Wenger 'In Arsène We Trust' #Respect’ but I did not see it so it was unclear if it was the clubs plane. The radio talk-in show 606 on BBC radio 5 is going to be lively later.

After the game, it was time for Soccer Saturday to watch the results come in with an eye on my bets and of course the progress of my team Cardiff City. Sometimes if I am lucky, there may be an iffy internet stream of the game if not it is the radio. If you have not seen the programme before Jeff Stelling is the host, a proud Hartlepool United fan who likes to celebrate their goals when they score if they do.

Today the in-studio pundits were Paul Merson, Matt Le Tissier, Phil Thompson, and Charlie Nicholas previewing today’s games reviewing recent results and debating current issues in football mostly Premier League talk before kick-off around the country. They each watch a game on a monitor in front of them. Has the games get started reports come into the studio from around the country.

I was sitting there listening to the game on the radio and watching the vidiprinter throwing out goals from around the leagues in England, Wales, Scotland Northern Ireland and some games from around Europe. From kick-off, we were taken on a trip around the grounds as goals and incidents were reported to the studio and then a report from the Cardiff City Stadium. A goal those of us interested but I already knew because of the radio, visitors Ipswich had scored but for a moment, I thought I had missed something with the Sky vidiprinter saying 1-1. It was a harsh mistake but not for long.

Kenneth Zohore turns away after scoring the second goal 

Cardiff scored I was happy confirm rightly by the vidiprinter this time so half time it was 1-1. During half time they showed some of the after match interview from Wenger, the only question was about his futures or lack of it at Arsenal.

Goal! Cardiff took the lead 2-1 and another goal from Kenneth Zohore making it his second in this game. Could it be game over it is now 3-1? Bennett was the goal scorer as City push forward to safety from the threat of any chance of being dragged in relegation in the bottom three.

At 4:30pm, it was time to turn the TV over for final score on the BBC, which is a tradition for me. Ever since I can remember, I have watched Grandstand in the old days and final score. I would sit there in front of the TV writing down the scores. When I turned over a rugby was still going it was a double header but no need to throw a wobbly as final score was on BBC2.

Nice to see a woman pundit in the studio Sue Smith, English international footballer, that would never happen on Sky. No more goals for the Cardiff City Stadium so a good three points in the bag. Now everyone knows my feeling of the subject of rugby but a sneaky look to see if Wales had won and it was so exciting I found an interest in watching. The French need to score a try and convert a kick and they would win the game and with no idea of the rules but knowing if Wales won the ball the game would be over. There was a lot of overtime as French won penalty after another, shit I have no idea what was going on but it was entertaining for someone with no interest in the outcome.

There ends another Saturday afternoon

I don't like Green and hate Paddy Day

Here I go again I am ready to drop some hate on Mother’s Day but before that it is time to give Saint Paddy Day a kicking. I am a Welshmen and a Catholic, my granny was a card carrying full blown Paddy from the South of Ireland. I can truly say I hate this over commercialized celebration, yes I do, vigorously.

Maybe years ago it was a nice tradition before it became an excuse for one giant green clad piss-up. Saint David’s Day can pass by with a whimper, a few flags, and other low-key celebrations but today pubs will be as if they were in Dublin not in the capital of Wales.

You can stuff your shamrocks, green beer, and Guinness where the sun don’t shine, and you can also stick “Oh Danny Boy” which will probably be playing on a loop on a jukebox somewhere (written by a Englishman) in the same place. I am sure Saint Patrick would turn in his grave to see what has become of his day.

There will be many fake Irish exaggerating their heritage, ‘like my great, great granny once kissed a Irishman’ or my granddad ate a potato and it was from Ireland so meaning I am 100% Irish. You could turn up in some paddy pub dressed as the hated Oliver Cromwell, offer to buy around and become life and soul of the party.

This years Paddy Day falls on a Friday so the celebrations could turn into a long weekend.

Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies - Film Review

I never thought I would be saying this: Zombie deer’s – why not it sounds wacky, which coincidentally is how I would describe Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies. This film continues the tradition of movies such as Shaun of the Dead and Cabin Fever, which show the humorous escapades of a group struggling to survive the zombie apocalypse but maybe not as good.

Set in the Austrian Alps, three youths are left to fend for themselves after a falling out with their snowboarding sponsors over a prank gone wrong. On the mountain some kind of science experiment is being undertaken which fails but turns one of the men slowly into a zombie. Soon the ski resort is full of zombies and the three and a few others fight them off and need to find a way down the mountain to safety.

One of the youths ends up has a zombie leaving the other two and the old bar maid to fight the zombie horde. The films emphasis on the origin of the outbreak really stood out to me as most zombie thrillers ignore or breeze over this crucial event.

Where Lederhosen Zombies really shined was through its creative use of special effects and gore. Whether it was disembowelment by wood chipper or decapitation by snowboard, I was constantly on the edge of my seat, wide-eyed, and thirsty for the next unexpected kill.

In a nutshell, Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies is a film that excels in the entertainment factor and shouldn't be taken too seriously. Filled to the brim with comedic one-liners and eyebrow raising violence, this movie branches out into its own genre. I really enjoyed the unique spin on one of my favourite genres as well as the colourful cast.

Football Hate

An interesting game in Division 1 last night a game full of hate as AFC Wimbledon played MK Dons who nine or ten years ago were one team. I think everyone in football knows the story about Wimbledon from having their ground sold from under them, ground sharing until the move to Milton Keynes that lead to the split.

Most Wimbledon fans at the time backed a new start with a fan owned club, which has seen them go from non-league to a league football in nine years with AFC Wimbledon. Every fan I talk to regards AFC as the real club to carry on the history of the old Wimbledon. MK Dons are the villain of the piece the Dick Dastardly of football, unloved but for a few.

This was the first time MK Dons had visited Wimbledon’s Cherry Red Records Stadium the two teams had faced each other at MK Dons ground before.

That bitterness reflects in Wimbledon failing to acknowledge MK Dons on the cover of the match day programme and no sight of their badge last night, while inside their opponents were referred to as "Milton Keynes”, with no mention of "Dons”. On the scoreboard, just MK was displayed.

Security had been heightened ahead of the clash, which led to the Dons reducing the allocation of the away club to just 650. Specially designated coaches were laid on for MK fans so that stewards and police could manage their entry. The Dons chairman Pete Winkelman was advised not to attend the game for the normal boardroom pleasantries if there were any on safety reasons but was at the game with the away fans.

I did notice on social media that some fans are starting to tire of this childish behaviour mainly coming from AFC Wimbledon. When visiting MK Dons they (AFC Wimbledon) are shown the upmost respect like all other visiting teams. Their board refuses the normal match entertainment afforded to visiting board members and sit with the visiting fans. I remember AFC Wimbledon fans calling for a ban on spending any money within the ground on food and drink.

Maybe it is easy for me to say. My team has not been ripped apart like that but I saw what a rebrand did to it and that was vicious with fan against fan could the answer be football.

It is just a game at the end of the day a game we love and rivalries are good as long as they are healthy.

UK break-up on the cards

Wee Nicola Sturgeon is demanding another independence vote north of the wall, not ‘The Wall’ aka Game of Thrones but the less formidable Hadrian’s Wall. The last time there was a Scottish independence Scots were told this was a chance in a live time to win freedom but they voted to stay in the union.

Three years later the plan is to get to the polls again with the catalyst being Brexit and the fact Scotland voted overwhelmingly to remain part of the European Union. Along with Northern Ireland who also voted to stay in the EU and after the Sinn Fein victory in the recent poll are beginning to talk independence. Wales voted to leave with England.

But Scotland have line themselves to go into battle first. A battle they may win but they will have a long cold wait to join the EU if they ever do because two members of the club will vote against them joining, the Spanish and the Dutch. Both have trouble with separatists in there countries who are looking for independence.

First Minister Nicola Sturgeon is using Brexit to justify this new vote, which must be given the go ahead by the UK government with no guarantee it would happen before Brexit is finalised. Sturgeon and the SNP are looking to hold the vote between autumn 2018 and spring 2019.

So what do we have? Scotland with no guarantee about their future if they do vote for independence and since the last time the oil and gas prices have fallen which was the backbone of the SNP economy. If they did win themselves independence at what price! Bye London, hello Brussels, hi to the euro, and plenty of EU interference. Things may have worsened north of the border but Sturgeon and the SNP are committed to pulling out of the union whatever the economic consequences if they can convince the voters.

British Prime Minister Theresa May will press the button on launching Article 50 at the end of the month with a two-year window for its completion or sooner if the negotiation go well, that is doubtful. By hoping to have the vote before the UK, leaves the SNP are looking to exploit the uncertainty of the Brexit negotiations. The SNP has warned Theresa May not to slam the brakes on a second independence referendum amid a growing belief the Prime Minister will try to delay it until after Brexit.

There will be no deals if Scotland if they did manage to join they would not get a rebate like the one the UK government received and with suggests of a two tire EU Scotland will fall in the bottom tire. Germany and France will be in charge over the other members. Also, Scotland does 64 percent of its business with the rest of the U.K. In other words, the U.K. single market is currently worth a lot more to the Scottish economy than the European one.

Interesting times ahead in UK politics.

Sunday Crush - Gwen Stefani - Don't Speak

I remember watching the video “Don’t Speak” on Top of the Pops and wow, unnamed lead singer soon known to me as Gwen Stefani, was she hot. They had been around for a while but it was the release of their third album “Tragic Kingdom” that they had a major breakthrough in the UK.

“Just a Girl” was the first single released of the album and just failed to break into the top 30s in the UK charts the next release favoured better. The single "Spiderwebs” reached 16 on the “Official Charts Company” while “Don’t Speak” cruised to the top of the charts on its release.

I have been obsessed since the day I laid my eyes on Gwen not stalker obsessed just her new music releases and photoshoots. In the “Don’t Speak”, video and song just pulled all the right strings in my musical tastes. From the opening cords of the song and her walking around with mic in her hand I feel a stirring. She was dressed simply not like her later videos and in general, as she belted out the tune she looked angelic, so beautiful.

I noted the drummer was wearing a ‘Madness t-shirt’, which was a brownie point for this band I have never heard of before. They could have musical taste.

Then the video burst into live footage of the band in concert, my god wow if there was any doubt about this band and Gwen, they were gone, washed away by the energy of Gwen. She was and still is staggeringly beautiful.

Saturday Night Live beamed into Dugdale Towns

Thanks to an iffy internet site this morning, I watched “Saturday Night Live” fresh from the United States of America I just had to wash the ITV Nighty Show out of my mind. Yes, it is an American show, the jokes are American, the sketches are American, but the host tonight was Scarlett Johansson I can live with that.

On the subject of the content if you are a news watcher like me most of it makes sense with President Trump, his family, his Cabinet members and even one of his canine supporters in this week’s politics-packed episode.

Alec Baldwin returned to Saturday Night Live as President Donald Trump in a cold opening designed to remark on his questionable sources. Set at a military base under alien attack, which is a spoof of the movie “Independence Day” with a less fortunate outcome than the film.

Alec Baldwin is very good being Donald Trump it must be said.

The aliens invaded from the planet "Zorblat-9" who are quickly taking control of the U.S. Trump does not give the kind of inspirational speech like President Thomas J. Whitmore (Independence Day) he uses his questionable sources again going off about coal at one point.

"Actually, I heard the aliens are already here”, Baldwin's Trump says. "They've been hiding in this country for hundreds of years. They are shape-shifters.”

He then points to a Black woman soldier and outs her as an alien and then her colleague next to her another Black woman soldier an easy joke but made me giddle. The aliens enter the tent looking for the President he quickly announces he is not the man they are looking for.

Recently Baldwin signalled that his time impersonating the president is numbered.

Host Scarlett Johansson joined in the fun portraying first daughter Ivanka Trump, spoofing a commercial for Ivanka's fictitious perfume, 'Complicit', in an attempt to question her values too. Later two scientists and Johansson, show a panel of judges that they had developed a technology that enabled Johannsson’s dog to talk. She is shock to find her dog was a Trump supporter.

Cardiff City oh yes and Lincoln in the FA Cup on the Road to Wembley

Cardiff need to get back on winning ways after the draw in mid-week at Blackburn. Today’s visitors to the Cardiff City Stadium are Birmingham and boss Gianfranco Zola admitted that he was considering his future after Tuesday's 1-0 home defeat by lowly Wigan Athletic. Defeat at Cardiff could well be his last game in charge.

Cardiff City boss Neil Warnock is starting to think about next season and has suggested when Cardiff reach 50 league points he would than chop and change his match day squad with an eye on who to retain for next season. Ahead of the Birmingham game the Cardiff City midfielder Aron Gunnarsson hopes to recover from a virus in time for the game.

Today adult tickets are only £5 for Cardiff City fans and the club are hoping for a crowd of 25,000, which would be the biggest of the season. With Cardiff boss Neil Warnock, agreeing a new contract and the positive message for next season there is a buzz beginning to surround the club.

Who would have thought back in early August when I picked non-league Maltby Main to start my traditional Road to Wembley route that in the Quarter Final I would be tied to Lincoln a non-league team.

Lincoln’s opponents Arsenal have been badly wounded suffering humiliation in the Champions League. In the Premier League, their form has nose-dive leading to demands for manager Arsène Wenger to step down. Leaving the FA Cup the only avenue for a little success but that could not save their season they need a top four finish and qualification for the Champions League next season.

The question is what kind of team will he put out against the visitors a full strength team or a mix of reserve and youth players. With some fans crying for Wenger blood, will he take the risk and underestimate Lincoln.

Could little Lincoln put of one of the greats giant killings in recent history since the 1939 Welsh Cup final were South Liverpool beat Cardiff City 2-1.

I do not thing there is a football fan, other than an Arsenal fan not siding with Lincoln.

Route to date

• Quarter Final - Arsenal - Lincoln City Att
• Fifth Round – Burnley 0-1 Lincoln City Att
• Fourth Round - Lincoln City 3-2 Brighton Att
• Third Round - Brighton 2-0 MK Dons Att 11091
• Second Round (replay) - MK Dons 3-1 Charlton Att
• Second Round - Charlton 0-0 MK Dons Att
• First Round (Proper) – MK Dons 3-2 Spennymoor Town Att 4099
• Fourth Round Qualifying - Lincoln United 0-3 Spennymoor Town Att 578
• Third Round Qualifying - Lincoln United 3-1 Handsworth Paramore Att 315
• Second Round Qualifying - Handsworth Paramore 2-0 Burs cough Att 98
• First Round Qualifying – Squires Gate 2-5 Handsworth Parramore
• Preliminary Round – Squires Gate 3-2 West Didsbury & Chorlton
• Extra Preliminary Round - Maltby Main 2-3 Squires Gate

A trip to Blackburn - Old Division Two - A Memory

End of the season table 1983/84

I see Cardiff City are on the road tonight to Blackburn in search of three points and it reminded me of an end of the season trip with Cardiff City Supporters Club in 1983/84 season. That was the season Ken Bates, paid £1 for Chelsea and they won the Second Division title.

It was a poor season for us finally finishing fifteenth in the league table and after the celebrations of the previous season and promotion it was hard to take. The only highlight of the season was the scumbag’s from the west Swansea City were relegated.

So on the last away game of the season the trip to Blackburn I was not expecting much of an away following, I was right, and by time we hit all the pickup points the coach was just over half full. To be honest I was expecting an uneventful trip until we joined the M5 toward Birmingham a coach pulled past us fall of Bristol City fans. Key a lot of posturing and flicking of the finger, all in banter.

We sat back having a laugh another and another coach load full of Bristol fans passed our very lonely coach. Checking the back of the paper there was the answer we were in the mists of a convoy of Bristol City coaches heading for Chester to celebrate promotion. This could be a nightmare and very messy with the Frankley service stop up ahead.

‘Common sense prevailed’ a decision was made to forgo our normal stop at Frankley, which was happily embraced on the coach and we would find somewhere else for an overdue pit stop. Lucky we did because from the road the car park did not look too friendly. Eventually we found somewhere.

We arrived in Blackburn early, were dropped outside the ground but there was a need to quench our thirst and we found a workingmen’s club a stone’s throw away from the ground. The guy was happy to let us in deeming us unlikely to kick-off and anyway the place was empty he needed the company. Now when you are an away fan sitting quietly having a drink the last things you do not want is the door to bust open, which could mean a bunch of naughty boys charging through the door looking for trouble.

Not this time some bloke alone came through the door pretending to be a chicken, full wing flapping and funny walk and he was surprised to see twenty or so Cardiff City fans sitting there. The bar keeper assured us it was not part of the entertainment with the guy embarrassingly telling us he expected is mates were in which was better than a kick-in.

The game was dire I remember with few in attendance we managed to eke out a 1-1 draw but win, lose, draw it was always a pleasure. The home trip was always quiet better with a win under ones belt but hey, it had so far been a great day out.

Remembering this morning and all the Bristol City coaches on the way to Chester, the roads were pretty much devoid of Bristol fans homeward bound. A decision was made to make a quick dart in and out of the Frankley service station. A mistake! Maybe has we parked up and below us there were a lot of coaches decked out in red and white, the colours of Bristol City and the decision of our driver to have something to eat all played along with what happen next.

Happy and merry on their promotion they seem happy to mingle not a hint of trouble then someone chants ‘Bluebirds’ then it turns into a nightmare and I run back to our coach. Soon our coach was the centre of attention with everyone, not quite but near enough and there was lots of banging of the side of the coach and the windows.

One angry man was knocking on the window jestering me to step off the coach I thought it would be better to stand my ground from the relatively safety of the coach. Things looked to be going tits up now the naughty people outside pull the escape door open and it was looking like we were going to have company. Then the seventh cavalry turn up in the shape of a copper on a motor bike and with our driver found, we were sent on our way after an interesting day.

It is Pie week - Do your duty and have a pie

They kept that quiet. It is only ‘Pie Week’ this week a celebration to be enjoyed by all pie lovers. I see many newspapers are opening the week with top 10 pies/best pies. Although I will enjoy this week, it will be touched with some sadness, with the continuing demise of the Clarks Pie more of which later.

I have a new pie lined up for this week maybe two for a testing but we will see in this magical week, which I will be reviewing later because I have not bought them yet. Yes, there really is a whole week dedicated to the humble pie. I am old school savoury pie with meat is my poison sweet/fruit filled pies dessert or pudding not a real pie.

Another thing a Shepherd’s pie or Cottage pie are not true pies. Last year’s pie awards the grand winner ‘Pie of the Year’ was a pastie, yes a pastie! Can a pastie be a pie! Not in my book. No way can you call a pastie a pie. Maybe the judges thought it was ‘Pastie of the Year’. As you can see after a year, I still cannot believe it.

That the time Matthew O’Callaghan, chairman of the British Pie Awards and Melton Mowbray Pork Pie Association, said: ‘I know many will be surprised to see a pasty winning the British Pie Awards, but the definition of a pie is a filling totally encased in pastry – pies come in all shapes including round pies, square pies and pasties.’

The demise of the once mighty Clarks pie as sadden me. When the two shops parted ways I expected the shops to go in different directions but was hoping the pies would stay the same. They soon differed but it is fair to say the Grangetown pie was the better it did not change. At Victoria Park, there was a change in the taste but still a top pie they also came up with a new range of pies. Then down in Grangetown the tray came … yes a tray. Any Clarks fan knows the pie was made to stand alone without a tray. Then the taste of the pie changed it was not right.

It is so bad now I have told my dad not to bring me my weekly pie. It is not just me many friends have said the same.

Research reveals that 75% of people enjoy a pie at least once a month, according to an independent survey.

Stonehearst Asylum (2014) - Film Review

Just before going to bed last night I spied a film due on and the title caught my eye ‘Stonehearst Asylum’ and a quick look at the film information, Kate Beckinsale starring so I had to set record on my virgin box.

Hands up I lust after Kate Beckinsale, she is beautiful and having a ‘Crush Sunday’ maybe I should have a ‘Lust Thursday’ but it sounds all wrong so I will stick with my crushes. I am sure she will be appearing in my blog somewhere in other posts.

So to the film, I watched it this morning and it was a splendid watch. Set at the turn of the 20th Century the focus is the Stonehearst Asylum; it seems on first glance an interesting social experiment is afoot.

The Doctors almost modern treatment seems to be working at first, its certainly more positive than the barbaric Victorian treatment of the insane and infirm that was obviously the norm. The film then turns on its head and it all starts unravelling – not to say too much more there are further twists, you want the hero to prevail, but you also feel for the patients. It all climaxes to an acceptable conclusion. All very Hollywood but still acceptable.

This movie made from a short story by Edgar Allan Poe a mysterious and a fascinating story about the secrets of the human mind but at the same time mixes a little spooky atmosphere and spooky stories of patients in the asylum.

I was fascinated with the film and it is always a pleasure to see Kate Beckinsale in a drama. Ben Kingsley is awesome as usual as like some of the others Michael Caine and David Thewlis.

It is a true call - the lunatics have taken over the asylum

After being told I give to many spoilers, I hope this is better.

Crush Sunday - Juliet Anderson - Porn star

Juliet Anderson, was the first pornstar I ever saw sitting in a darken living room with some friends after my friend found the video somewhere, hidden by is dad more than likely. The video called ‘Hot Lunch’ also starring Sharon Kane and Desiree Cousteau both of whom could be a ‘Crush Sunday’ but Anderson caught my eye.

She was affectionately known as Aunt Peg due to her roles in later films and begun a lifelong crush. The film left nothing to the imagination. Soon there were video shops popping up everywhere but not for these films, they were banned and only available from under the counter.

It was literally like, "Who is that?” She was so charismatic and magnetic, and yet it did not seem to make sense. The butch hair, I have a bit of a thing for short hair -- it all should not have existed according to the porn stereotype big boobs and big hair. Well, Anderson was not a stereotype, she was a trailblazer and an artist, and she lit up the screen.

She entered the adult movie business relatively late in life (at age 39), and in 1981 knock out 19 her first film was in 1975 ‘Teenage Playmates’ but it was 1978 before she really enter the industry. She retire once but was soon back. Has well as the acting she was an adult movie producer, relationship counsellor, and author. Gone from us now to the big porn set in the sky.

American Football/Soccer Crib Sheet

I have been frustrated more than once listening to Americans commentators try to commentate on football or what they call soccer and sometimes I feel like I am listening to a game from another planet.

So I had to have a giddle after reading about Atlanta United FC a new name on the Major League Soccer front who issued a crib sheet to help fans who could be a little confused by football terminology. Their communications chief also as concerns that the media covering their matches will not know much about the football lingo.

The MLS as become more and more popular but some of the written press and TV still have not caught up with the language of football. Our American friends struggle to cope with phases that have been natural to all of us who have followed the sport for years. Atlanta’s courteous officials to ease their guests into a new era for football/soccer in the state of Georgia will distribute the sheet below.

They are advising media that they should not refer to goalkeepers as goaltenders and advising that a drawn game should not be described as a tie. Fans need to be described as supporters and the advice that using the term ‘overtime’ to describe a match that cannot be decided inside 90 minutes and needs a period of extra-time was also noted.

All said and done I am a fan although I have not tied myself to any one team but am looking forward to the four new teams gearing up to join the MLS. The aforementioned Atlanta United will join along with Minnesota United at the start of the new 2017 season. In 2018 Los Angeles FC will be the new boys and as a Cardiff City fan I have a bit of an interest in their fortunes as the owner of Cardiff as a bit of the club as an investor.

But I think most fans of the MLS and around the world are waiting for 2019 when the club with David Beckham one of the major investors rises to life. The team has yet to be named. But have a working name of Miami or Beckham United a nickname, given to the team by fans and media alike. Fans still waiting on the name and a home ground hopeful of no more delays.