Having mentioned it the other day while chatting to a friend I thought to myself that I had not seen it in years so decided to seek it out for a viewing. Oh, sorry I am talking about Flesh Gordon, yes Flesh.
Flesh Gordon (1974) is a spoof of "Flash Gordon" which set the standard for the porn industry to spoof just about everything under the sun.
This is a truly a camp classic. It still managed to give me a laugh and a chuckle watching hysterical over-acting, horrid sex-jokes, and flagrant sexual innuendo.
The plot is, well, quite basic beginning with a sex-ray from the planet Porno hitting Earth and threatens to turn the earth into one worldwide orgy of sex destroying the morals of humankind. Flesh Gordon first meets up with Dale Ardor on a plane when hit with the sex ray she goes sexually crazy along with Flesh but he snaps out of the madness trying to save the plane but parachutes out of the plane with Ardor who on the way down gives him a BJ.
They land close to Dr. Flexi Jerkoff’s laboratory and soon the three are planning a trip to planet Porno to destroy the sex-ray in a penile spaceship. The ray hits them in space, it is a lot stronger, and they indulge in a threesome.
With their ship shot down Flesh and his companions run into the Penisauruses, before being captured by men of Emperor Wang the Perverted they are taken to his throne room were a full on orgy is taking place and his interest soon shifts towards Ardor with a wedding night on this mind. Wang himself seems somewhat miffed when Flesh complains about the sex-rays destroying morality on earth and cannot understand why he and the rest of earth are not thanking him.
Flesh ends up having some naughty after being saved from a sentenced to death by Queen Amora who takes him to be her sex slave. Ardor kidnapped by Amazonian lesbian’s later Flesh meets the gay (in every sense) men of Sherwood Forest, a surly monster (close cousin to King Kong) and an army of perverts.
The pantomime plot has side splitting moments and good fun, but at the end of the day, it all bubbles down to one word: Sex. This is, effectively, a porn movie, with most of the porn removed (at least in the version I watched), and a mixture of ludicrously funny sight gags and some elaborate special effects thrown into the mix.
I enjoyed "Flesh Gordon", because it never stops moving and is always funny. In fact, it is a real treat, spot-on. (Including the priceless sight gag of Dr Jerkoff starting his rocket engine with a car-ignition key!). Flesh fighting for his life against three woman-wearing dildos. Dustbin like robots with cone sphere-shaped willies all good fun it this crazy world.
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