Three hours of Christmas Day soaps I had to sit through due to my wife’s’ love affair with the crap. Although I was on my laptop, watching a documentary and series about the ‘War of the Roses’ I still couldn’t help watching the crap unfolding.
To make sure fans don’t miss a thing BBC and ITV shake hands on a deal to make sure they don’t cross over each other. First up was Emmerdale, they dropped the Farm a long time ago has its more about shagging than animals now.
Last night in the one hour allocated Emmerdale there was a wedding, again it is a staple of Christmas soaps, a wedding just like in reality the churches are packed with weddings on Christmas Day. On mentioning shagging there was a teacher/student thing ongoing and just for some more titillation, the teacher is dating his step-dad someone’s in for a spanking. The big ending sees the bride’s son released from prison (on Christmas Day? Does that happen) and it turns out, he bullied one of the main cast members when he spent time behind bars, fight - fight.
Coronation Street had a prison storyline as well. In prison she receives, a Christmas Day visit from her husband who has only been shagging her sister and wants to beat is stepdaughter who will tell her mum if he won’t. Somehow, gets a prison visitors order for Christmas Day again can that happen. Things are stirring at the Rover Return, jealousy, and intrigue are running riot leading to a hit and run. Meanwhile the Barlow’s are having the saddest of all Christmas Dinners.
It can’t be Christmas without a singsong in the Queen Vic in EastEnders but most of the action centres on the dysfunctional Slater family. First a point, the Slaters house must be the sister ship of the Tardis (Doctor Who reference) so many people live in there I am surprised the council housing haven’t come a calling about overcrowding.
One of the Slaters as a secret, being Christmas it has to leak out and soon ensuing madness sees someone take a tumble down the stairs, is he dead! I hope so there would be a bit more room for the rest of them and with the possibility of a prison term pressure on the living accommodation could be reduce.
It looks like all my hate for the soap could be a lie but I put it down to Christmas Day I can promise I will not be watching tonight conclusions to yesterday happening’s. On the subject on Christmas Day TV, it was pretty poor even the films across our virgin package I ended up watching repeats of old TV classics.
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