Spaced Out (1979) - Film Review

Spend the afternoon watching a 1979 British Sci-fi sex comedy “Spaced Out” after a search for something to watch along that line. It’s a simple premise a broken spaceship lands on Clapham Common in South London with an interesting crew of three sexy female aliens all humanoid it wouldn’t work otherwise. With sex involved, the aliens have to look good it’s monster aliens that come to kill.

Being a comedy/borderline soft-core porn the aliens come from a world where there are no men and find themselves totally fascinated by the strange anatomy, whom are none too reluctant to demonstrate to them what it’s all about.

Meanwhile our star of the film Barry Stokes, Oliver as parked up at the edge of the said park chancing his luck with his uninterested girlfriend who has curtains on her mind. The spaceship lands in the park very Doctor Who and very British at the spaceship the earthlings gather, Oliver and his girlfriend, a dog walker who every time he looks at the girlfriend sees her in stockings and suspenders you get the picture and some young guy a possible virgin and like you do they just walk into the spaceship.

These aliens are hot, seventies hot and who wouldn’t love to find a UFO with a crew of dolly birds. I think I may have had that dream a few times.

The young guy was the first to make contact with the large breasted alien all on show and after she frisks him she notices something rising … get the idea, where this film is going. The stud of the three is soon warn out and begging for a rest and Oliver finally gets his girlfriend between the sheets.

The aliens are young, gorgeous, sexually curious, and not afraid to experiment with human reproductive techniques (all in the name of scientific discovery, of course!). It's actually done tastefully making a joke of the fact that the man they become crazy about is young Willy. The self-confessed virgin with mild acne whose only sexual experience is masturbating while reading porno magazines.

Only in British sex comedies do you have young spotty boys like Willy managing to seduce voluptuous females who wouldn't be caught dead with them in reality! Of course, this is all part of the appeal of these movies, isn't it?

Ava Cadell, who plays the ship's engineer Partha, was one of the reasons I was keen to watch the film and deserves the most praise of all the women in the film... she manages to be kooky and sexy at the same time and even helps drive the plot every so often.

Yes, it's cheap, juvenile, and crude, but I liked it has sort of an oddball charm and good nature making it enjoyable, well at least to undemanding numbskulls like myself. There was a lot of lost potential for big laughs but it’s not without its share of moments, in particular a scene where the aliens are arguing over exactly what the humans in the porn magazine are doing.

Sexploitation sci-fi epic!

My Rating

Dinner Date with a Curry

I called yesterday our Valentine Date so I slipped the wife some underwear and we when for a meal. With the wife in a wheelchair, you just can’t front up at a restaurant you have to do some research, no steps that kind of thing and not many places have a disability toilet but we struck lucky at this venue.

We took a punt on the Red Chili for a curry as it’s not too far from where we live, a short bus ride away and I had previously checked it was wheelchair friendly, no steps and more importantly space. Doing my homework the Red Chili has great reviews so I couldn’t understand why it was so empty in fact we were the only customer’s maybe just after 6pm was too early.

The very helpful staff settled us in and we had the appetisers, a couple of Papadum’s with three dips and an Onion Salad my favourite but wifey didn’t fancy a starter with a main meal she just didn’t feel she could eat so much. So no Chicken Tikka starter for me. For just us the service seemed slow I didn’t mind it gave us time to chat I would probably demand a faster service if the place was full just to get out as fast as we could.

The whole ambience was pleasant the background Indian music was not too loud but for a couple of takeaway orders it was as if I’d hire the restaurant just for the two of us. In fact, just before we left there was another customer looking for a table there was plenty to choose from.

When the trolley pulled up at our table, the smells were divine and I could not wait to tuck in. I am not adventurous when it comes to what is on my place unlike the wife – I like what I like. Chicken Curry, Pilau rice and a side of chips while the wife when for Chicken Biriyani and here is a first I shared, yes shared a Keema Nan unheard of before.

The main debate of the evening was the chips frozen or real … I thought definitely real they were just too tasty and not crispy like frozen chips. My curry was beautiful in fact; everything in front of us was great topping of a great night. The bill was very reasonable for the food and drink we ordered allow wifey was doing most of the drinking, I was on the pop. Has General McCarthy once said … I shall return? After our meal, I took a walk a few doors away to check out the Star of Wales another Indian restaurant but it looked unsuitable for the wife’s wheelchair.

This Time - TV Review

Steve Coogan was back on our screens last night playing his most famous creation Alan Partridge who finds himself co-hosting a BBC magazine show. Due to the sudden illness of its regular host, he joins regular Jennie Gresham (Susannah Fielding) on the sofa.

Partridge’s presenting style is has brash as ever and still annoying – he’s still as tactless, incompetent and ego-driven as ever and a pleasure to see him back. His co-star soon gets her taste of his wacky personality when welcoming him as a safe pair of hands for the show then Partridge bangs on about his hands and changing of hand cream.

Over the course of this half-hour “live” programme, which reminds me of the One Show the BBC’s real early evening show he soon finds himself in trouble when he talks about oil disasters caused by Shell after his co-star remarks with a guest about Shell. He just can’t stop waffling nonsensically much to the dismay of his co-presenter.

There was also appearances from some of Partridge’s old regulars from his old show such as his PA Lynn (Felicity Montagu), who becomes concerned that Jennie is stealing Alan’s jokes, and Alan’s radio sidekick Simon (Tim Key), with whom they try to present a feature on a touch-screen computer which is a fail.

Alan will always be the star of the show, perhaps best evidenced by the fact that we don’t see most of the filmed features. When the show cuts to them, we stick to the studio cameras and see our hosts trying to relax as best they can. Although, when talking about Alan Partridge, “best” is probably not the word to use.

For me, his unexpected turns of phrase are some of the big highlights. These include comparing the country’s lush countryside to a buxom woman, although as he himself states, it might not be a woman, but instead, “a smooth, fat teenage boy”. Then there is complicated demonstration of how he uses a train toilet without using his hands.

Even after all these years, Coogan is able to get some top quality comic moments from his creation, one that has been developing for nearly 30 years. Given all that experience, perhaps it shouldn’t be that surprising. As long as there is something still being broadcast, his creation will still be there trying to make himself the big star he thinks he deserves to be.

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It was a good start and looking forward to more.

Over Watford all about Everton now

Over Watford, you just have to after a 5-1 defeat is not easy to take but there is always another game until the last game of the season when the reckoning is tallied up. Fingers crossed our season doesn’t end in relegation but if the team continue to play like Friday night it will, come on boys.

When I saw the team for the Watford game on social media I posted a simple message “Interesting”, I just felt uneasy with the line-up and it turned out I was right to be apprehensive. But it’s now Everton today and hopefully a better score line basically a win.

Everton have had a calamitous run and their manager is under a lot of pressure with only one win in the last five games where Cardiff have won two games. In November, they were 1-0 winners (Everton) at Goodison Park but have not won in Cardiff in the league since 1930/31 may it continue tomorrow night.

At his pre-match conference Cardiff boss, Neil Warnock expressed his frustration over Victor Camarasa situation. The Cardiff City medical team passed him fit 10 days ago according to Warnock while his own medical team disagree and the on-loan midfielder could still miss the Everton clash. Aron Gunnarsson is expected to return, while Lee Peltier and Bobby Reid will be checked after illness. On loan striker, Oumar Niasse is ineligible to face his parent club Everton leaving the possibility of Kenneth Zohore making his first start in five months.

Our mini league at the wrong end of the Premier League has seen changes … Palace, Burnley and Newcastle all won at the weekend and have extended their points lead over Cardiff making it more important to get something out of today's game. Cardiff, Southampton, and Huddersfield all lost while Brighton didn’t play and have themselves a game in hand.

The mid-week games that matter to us as a club

Tues … Huddersfield v Wolves (Huddersfield are technically relegated no one believes they will get out of the bottom three but still a Wolves win would be good.)

Tues … Leicester v Brighton (We need a Leicester win with Brighton having a game in hand and two points ahead of us.)

Tues … Newcastle v Burnley (Must be a draw just to keep in touch was them.)

Wed … Southampton v Fulham (Fulham win would be helpful just to keep us out of the bottom three.)

Wed … Palace v Man Utd (I expect a United win.)

Sunday Crush – Skinhead Girls

I did have a big crush on Skinhead girls as a teenager, which I still have today. It is not about a particular girl but the style. Styles back then were so strong from Skinhead, Rudies and Mod girls youth tribes today are non-existent. I can pin point the exact moment in time my fascination begun.

It was in the indoor market in town around 1974. I was upstairs in the market having a drink and something to eat (ham sandwich I always had the same) with the family in the café next to a clothing shop called Gwyns very popular with the youth of the time. These two girls just floated pass catching my eye both featuring feather cut haircut and set off this hormonal teenage all a flutter to my heart. I have already mentioned my thing about hair, women’s haircuts in previous blogs.

One of the girls, both older than me, wore some loafers, fishnets stockings or tights with white ankle socks which really caught my eye and wore a short skirt, jacket, a shirt and top it off with braces while her friend was wearing DM boots a denim skirt, Harrington jacket and a polo shirt the skinhead girl look, strong and intimidating. It strange I can remember them so clearly that was the kind of impression they made on me.

Like the dog walk from the same time who I can still picture like yesterday and who I fancied the pants off her. But that was a long time ago and since become a happily married man.

Thinking back, I had no skinhead friends just a few pretenders who had a skinhead haircut because of nasty infestation of head lice and called themselves temporary skinheads. I liked my hair just too much to have it shaved off I was intent on keeping it as long and scruffy as I could. I was constantly told in school to get my hair cut. I owned some loafers, later some DM boots and I wore braces but never was inspired to become a skinhead my braces were just to hold my trousers up.

Intimidating yes, but the whole look was damn sexy, wait a minutes I am talking skinhead girls. There was always more male skinheads than female if you saw a group out and about. Soon skinheads were a sign of right-wing Nazis but not all. Others stuck to the roots of skinhead culture where reggae/ska was king and black and white were welcome my kind of skinheads.

Banned Film Posters

I watched an old interview of one of my favourite actresses Eva Green about the film Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, the sequel of Sin City. I have not watched Sin City 2 in a while so I tracked down a copy on the internet for later viewing and I will review it.

Why I’m posting this piece was because one of the promotional posters for the film was banned featuring Eva Green the reason the image was deemed too risky by bosses of the Motion Picture Association for America. It was because of inappropriate and rejected it for nudity or, more specifically, “curve of under breast and dark nipple/areola circle visible through sheer gown”.

To be honest I seen the both pictures (see accompanying photo) there is really little difference between the two. They are still both incredibly and sexy the banned one may have the edge but still I have both saved. Still, it's always nice to see Eva Green naked or semi-naked. That's something that never gets old.

It led me to look into other film/movie posters that have run into trouble with the censors … While most of the posters on this list fall into two categories — too much sex or too much violence — the banning of these posters was more political than anything.

Silent Night, Deadly Night

Silent Night, Deadly Night was a 1984 horror movie that featured psychotic, axe-wielding Santa Clause terrorizing innocent victims. The film was scheduled to be released right before Christmas and parents were outraged. After mass protests outside of theatres, all the ads were pulled six days after the movie was released. Shortly after, the movie itself was yanked. It survived the years, though, gaining a cult following and spawning four sequels. I can see why it was banned in the end if you believe Santa comes down your chimney why not with a bloodied axe.

I Spit On Your Grave

This 2010 film is already disturbing enough. It is about a woman who brutally seeks revenge on a group of men who rape her and leave her for dead. You can see why she was out for revenge. The poster combines a half-naked butt with a bloody knife, a losing combination for the censor. They considered it a sexualisation of rape victims and banned the poster.

A new poster was made, and the artwork for the sequel in 2013 was much tamer.

The Rules of Attraction

Stuffed animals having sex... now that’s how you totally ruin someone’s childhood and scar him or her emotionally in the process. I can only imagine parents having to explain this poster to their kids at the Cineplex. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if hordes of parents were the ones who got this banned for putting them in such a ridiculously awkward situation.

This poster for the use of children’s toys – to put it mildly – in a poster that wasn’t meant for children. Surprisingly, the poster for Rules of Attraction was not banned in the UK or Canada. I guess having a poster that looks like a Toy Story spin-off with the exception of toys trying out the Kama Sutra isn't really an "across the board" problem.

The Outlaw 

The 1943 Howard Hughes film, The Outlaw, was blocked from being released because censors thought it featured too many shots of actress Jane Russell‘s cleavage. So what did Hughes do? He released this very controversial poster to help create audience interest and demand. Guess what? It worked! The poster is barely PG rated by today’s standards, but in the conservative 1940’s it was very risky. The poster was banned, but the film was released.

A miff surrounding the film was that Hughes employed his engineering skills to design a new-cantilevered underwire bra to emphasize her figure. True he did but Russell later revealed she used her own bra stuffing it with tissues.

Salvage Hunters – TV Review

On Wednesday, we were treated to the return of Salvage Hunters on Quest. The new series opened with star Drew Pritchard and sidekick Tee on an antique buying expedition in Barcelona and the surrounding area.

Beautiful opening the background was stunning and felt like you were watching a travel show but they were there to work from there little car like Drew said to Tee “You won’t get much stock in there” and set about finding items for his shop back in Conway, Wales. He was hoping to buy truly eclectic and colourful Spanish items, and local Catalonian furniture for the shop and his website.

They dropped into a massive and famous flea market and in his element jumping from stall-to-stall digging out what he calls treasures in his search for the quirky. Finding a Spanish desk light, if there is one thing Drew can’t pass by is good lighting, and while doing the deal he was tapped on the shoulder and invited to a shop upstairs full of the said desk lights. Deal done and he walked out with five or six and a lighter wallet.

After Barcelona he and Tee headed into the surrounding area towards the Pyrenees to visit some antique dealers. His first call was to a wily old bloke who was given little away on his prices so Drew paid a bit more than he wanted but there was a profit to be made. His second visit was much more to his liking being ‘trade only’. He managed to fill his boot before returning to the UK happy.

We did not see the Conway home base it was the Drew and Tee show. Does Tee own a pair of long trousers? I am looking forward to seeing the demographics back in Conway after his divorce from wife Rebecca who was a big part of the operation.

Walford travel to the Cardiff City Stadium tonight

Nice to see the football back tonight and we face a home game against Watford on a high on the pitch with our first back-to-back wins and our first double in the Premier League this season beating Southampton home and away. The 13-day break has been a bit of a nightmare I just hope the players remember where they left off. Cardiff would move up to 13th depending on other results by claiming a third successive victory.

Emiliano Sala story is still on going with the talk of court action on the cards. Nantes has agreed an extension for the first transfer fee instalment as Cardiff lawyers look into the deal.

With 12 games left until the end of the season points are desperately needed. The last time we were in the Premier league, we were relegated on 30 points with 36 the safety mark and since then over the last five seasons, the average is 37/38 points. That could mean winning four or five would be better of the 12 games to dodge relegation.

We lost 3-2 in the home fixture at Watford in December the stats over the last five games are pretty much equal. Watford were in action last weekend in the FA Cup and beat Championship club QPR 1-0. Cardiff boss Neil Warnock rates this Watford squad and is predicting the game will be tough.

Cardiff are hoping midfielder Victor Camarasa will be fit to start against Watford following a calf injury. He came off the bench at Southampton and defender Sean Morrison could join the squad after his five weeks out after he had an appendix operation.

Games that matter in our private little league table,

Fri … West Ham v Fulham

Sat … Burnley v Tottenham

Sat … Newcastle v Huddersfield

Sat … Leicester v Palace

Sun … Arsenal v Southampton

So a defeat for Fulham tonight would be helpful and on the weekend I expect both Tottenham and Arsenal to win. Come on Leicester win. It would be great for a Huddersfield win at Newcastle but a draw could still be helpful and Brighton has no game this weekend.

More Sevenites Nostalgia - Dalek, Butlin's and Flares

Was it possible you could buy a life size model of a Dalek and why did I not know this at one point we had the Marshall Ward catalogue but mum did not like using it preferring to deal with Granada TV rental and later Telebank who would sell toys and other items from a van. I do not remember seeing a Dalek in the back of the van.

I would have loved one better still if you could clamber into one and roll down the street shouting Exterminate! Exterminate! It would have been such fun. I was never afraid of the Daleks once I realised all I needed to do was run upstairs to escape them.

A local advertisement for Barry Butlin’s when they threw the doors open on a day pass for the non-resident holidaymakers. As a family, we never took up the offer there was more than enough on Barry Island to keep us happy. Locals were invited in because the people staying there wanted to get out.

Back then, the Island was a great place to spend a day. On a summer day, the beach would be packed out and if you fancied a day on the beach, the best spot was along the seawall hopefully out of the reach of the coming tide. When I was older I got to see what Butlin’s was about and it felt like a prison, Colditz and I was glad to have been one of the riff-raff down below.

A blast from my past I remember flared trousers not too fondly. There were good if you were strutting down the street with your platform shoes another one of these not the best idea, try running in them.

Flares were a bit of a nightmare really I was a climber but they would get caught up. A memory flooding back is getting my flares caught in the bike chain of my bike if you forgot to tuck them into your sock.

Then there were the popular patch pockets flared of course with two large side pocket useless for money and just about anything. The teenagers of today should be grateful this fad was consigned to history.

A Day of Nostalgia For Me

On a nostalgia trip today with the seventies in mind, I took to e-bay looking to buy some comics/magazines of the time to read but mainly for the covers. I plan to frame them and display them.

I found the Victor Comic, issue 684 - 30 March 1974 the subject matter sold it to me and only cost me £2.99 with free postage.

Then I came across some covers of old Titbits magazines and straight away I knew there was one I had to have and hopefully at the right price, cheap. It was published weekly and likened to the modern day magazines like the now defunct Nuts or Zoo magazine. Titbits was the first magazine to feature a glamour girl on the front cover, albeit in clothes but that did not last long before it was boobs and lingerie on the covers.

I can remember the magazine being around since I noticed it when I was young but seem to remember a jump to more glamour covers toward the end of the sixties but with my early teens, and my new found interest in the body of the female of the species sparked a greater interest in my fledgling mind.

My search for the Dana Gillespie, Titbits magazine cover (19 September 1974) was not proving successful but I continued until I finally found one but the cost put me off. Still it has now become a project, I will succeed, and she will grace my bedroom wall one day. Towards the end of the seventies the magazine turned away from the more glamour, front-page covers to TV/film related as times changed.

My other target was a cover featuring the Beano’s General Jumbo my comic book hero and someone this then child would have loved to be. However, I found a picture and now am looking to up size it to at least A4. I should be able to sort it. Still I hope to find him on a cover of a Beano. I have enjoy myself today delving into the seventies I feel comfortable in that decade … well not the final few years. a post for another day.

Political Suicide For The Gang Seven

So the long-time expected break from the Labour party has happen with seven making a stand and I reckon they have committed political suicide. They are not a party at the moment but some think-tank/movement but they are going to form them having been fears critics of Labour and Jeremy Corbyn. It has happened before look back to the ‘Gang of Four’ becoming the Social Democratic party and after some success. They come out of the gate as a party with a name the lot before eventually finding a home within the Liberals.

They are saying the reasons for breaking with the party is that they are 'embarrassed' by 'bullying, anti-Semitism and the move to the hard left' – and plan to form a new group to 'change politics'. Is that a party … Will we see New Labour because we have New Labour before? The politicians are calling themselves The Independent Group at this moment.

Now people no my feelings about Jeremy Corbyn and his cohorts I do not like the guy and will not support him so at the next general election plan to spoil my vote. I have never taken to left or right factions within the party I have always been a centrist with in the Labour party, which is difficult. Because I do not support Corbyn, I am immediately label Blairite.

There are calls for the seven to put themselves to the vote with By-Elections with calls already as the Streatham Constituency Labour Party confirmed they are writing to Chuka Umunna asking him to call a by-election.

How hurtful will this be to the Labour party? I feel depending on if more politicians join the group of seven and attract support willing to fund a new party it could split the Labour vote. If you remember, the gang of four they crippled the Labour party for a while and over the months after the launched near 30 MPs joined them. With a group like Momentum, threatening to deselect critics of Corbyn within the Parliamentary Labour Party there could be a few more recruits in the woodwork probably sitting back watching what happens with the seven.

Momentum and their army of cyber warriors pray on non-supporters of Jeremy Corbyn and target their constituency taking them over where they can and the biggest threat to the Labour Party as a whole since Militant tendency.

In the 1983 general election, I was so close to making my mark and vote Social Democratic I changed my mind and stayed loyal to Labour and Michael Foot.

FA Cup ... I can't do it, not Swansea

My Road to Wembley continued at the weekend the team, I should have been supporting (Swansea City) won the game and are in the hat for the next round, but I was shouting for their opponents Brentford. I have explained in my previous post there was no way under the sun I would hitch up to their wagon train, Swansea that is as they are our f***ing rivals my team being Cardiff City.

Yes, this is a virtual road to the FA Cup final but I have some principles and only two teams I will not follow in the competition, any. The team mentioned and Manchester United for historic reason Swansea just out of football hate and United from when I was a kid. I have transferred my support a few times from United but never for Swansea and yes, am I that petty.

I watched the game live on BBC Wales and it was depressing and was asked what it Swansea and United were drawn together in tonight’s Quarter Final draw? Well I would wait for the winners to be decided, and follow whomever they play next what if both were to reach the final! Well game over and the only time my route would end prematurely in over 40 years of playing this game.

There were some good games this weekend I am mainly thinking about the Newport v Man City game. It is what the FA Cup is about in my book with passionate fans supporting their club and making their bank manager happy.

Route to Wembley (Bold my Team)

Fifth Round Swansea 4-1 Brentford Att 11,261

Has explained above I should by following Swansea

Fourth Round Swansea 4-1 Gillingham Att 15080

Third Round Gillingham 1-0 Cardiff City Att 7090

Second Round Proper Slough Town 0-1 Gillingham Att 2084

First Round Proper, (replay) Slough Town 1-1 Sutton United Att 426 (Slough won 8-7 on penalties)

First Round Proper Sutton United 0-0 Slough Town Att 1830

Fourth Round Qualifying Eastbourne 1-2 Slough Town Att 802

Third Round Qualifying (Replay) Bristol Manor Farm 0–4 Slough Town Att 541

Third Round Qualifying Slough Town 2–2 Bristol Manor Farm Att 486

Second Round Qualifying (Replay) – Sholing 0-3 Slough Town Att 327

Second Round Qualifying - Slough Town 2–2 Sholing Att 465

First Round Qualifying (Replay) - Hamworthy United 0-1 Sholing Att 149

First Round Qualifying – Sholing 0-0 Hamworthy United Att 230

Preliminary Round - United Services Portsmouth 1-3 Sholing Att 131

The Extra Preliminary Round - United Services Portsmouth 5–2 Andover Town Att -

Sunday Crush - Charlize Theron

Just watched Atomic Blonde again just to watch Charlize Theron glide across my TV screen and immerse myself in her beauty. Her stunning good looks have always threatened to overshadow her acting but it hasn’t she is an award winning actress. The first film I remember noticing her was the “The Devil's Advocate” starring Al Pacino one of her first major film roles.

There was something about her that made me switch on to her the role she was playing was sexual and you see her going nude she had the body and there were raunchy sex scenes in the film it was her style that was a hit with me. Truth is she was just so stylish and still is. I was reminded of that this morning while searching through photos to accompany this post I was once again struck by her divine beauty and elegance.

After an hour or so looking through stunning images of her my only disappointment was the large number of photos of her smoking. I hate smoking I always have and it never fails to amaze me why such a beautiful woman with such a body, will watch what they eat but will suck smoke into her lungs. She has struggled for years to quit smoking and confessed to being "highly addicted".

The curse of many a young actress/model when nude photos taken earlier in her career were splashed in Playboy and the cover in the May 1999 issue of the magazine. She unsuccessfully sued the magazine for publishing them without her consent.

As well as the acting, she has been on numerous magazine covers and photo shoots as an icon of style. She as it all and her beauty as stayed the test of time I thing she as grown better with age and not just a pretty face but award winning actress winning a legion of awards and nominations.

Her lead in the film Monster (2003) earned her an Academy Award for Best Actress, Golden Globe Award for Best Actress in a Drama and the SAG Award for her performance.

The Commandments of I

I have to admit I loved The Specials new album ‘Encore’ and one track in particular – “10 Commandments “a rehash of Prince Buster’s release of 1965 “The Ten Commandments of Man”. I loved the video, the sound, and the brashness of the whole mix of the song, which led me to compile my own 10 Commandments in the style of Saffiyan Kahn. You can see the video down below.

The Commandments of I … Peter Ugarte

[Thou] … shall eat one Pie a week even vegans who can pretend to eat a pie. A pie without meat is not a pie according to the word of I.

[Thou] … will be fat shamed by everyone even the righteous who say they support your right to say you are happy … Fat Bastard.

[Thou] … should listen to your music daily and share it with the unbelievers to turn them into the path of the righteous light.

[Thou] … shall battle your depressions but they are not easily slain, as some people will tell you. Listen to I, depression is not a life style it’s a disease.

[Thou] … shall tell people who belittle you to piss off

[Thou] … shall take politics with a pinch of salt ALL politicians lie

[Thou] … shall not live to excess it’s not required. There are those who are lacking.

[Thou] … remember not everything is black and white. Don't treat it as such.

[Thou] … shall always understand that my opinion is just a fucking opinion we can agree to differ and stay friends … or enemies your choice

[Thou] … should do what you need to survive but not kill the earth for the future humans.

Robinson Crusoe on Mars - Film Review - Afternoon Film

The movie ‘Robinson Crusoe on Mars’ fall into my lap this afternoon a bit of a classic and was on Film 4 so I had my afternoon sorted. As a bit of fantasist/daydreamer and I often fantasised about being marooned, be it a shipwreck or lost on a planet in space.

This film is based of course on Daniel Defoe's classic novel.

In this film two astronauts are surveying the surface of Mars (played by Paul Mantee and TV Batman's Adam West, respectively) and are forced to abandon ship along with a monkey to avoid a collision with an asteroid heading directly for them. Kit Draper (Mantee) lands successfully and begins to explore the barren landscape, only to eventually discover that McReady (West) didn't make it but the monkey did and joins our hero in his bid to survive.

The majority of the film is a one-man show, (with monkey) with Mantee carrying it admirably. Luckily, for Draper, he finds a cave and discovers Martian rock gives off oxygen as a by-product. Short on food and water his future looked bleak. His monkey friend would lap up Draper’s meagre supplies of toothpaste food but suddenly lost interest. The monkey was holding out on Draper and after following him found he had is own food source in the shape of a half-plant, half-sausage thingy and a water supply.

With no aliens on Mars, the film needed a baddie so they imported some who were busy mining the planet with human aliens slaves and up steps man Friday (Victor Lundin) who Draper rescues after he escapes. We never see the aliens but for their spaceships darting around the sky. Friday shares his "air pills", which provide oxygen; they gradually grow to trust and then like each other. Although freed Friday was still connected to the aliens via bracelets on his wrists. The aliens eventually locate Draper and Friday and attack them and force them to flee north through the underground Martian canals.

They eventually surface near the polar icecap. Exhausted, freezing, and nearly out of the air pills, they quickly build a shelter. The alien spacecraft returns, tracking Friday by his bracelets. Draper succeeds in cutting off Friday's bracelets shortly before an orbiting meteor crashes into the ice cap; the resulting explosion and firestorm melts the ice and snow.

Later, Draper detects an approaching spaceship. He fears it is the returning aliens, but is relieved when his portable radio picks up an English-speaking voice. Draper and Friday watch a descending rescue capsule. Of course, the 'science' behind it all is a load of bollocks, but it is refreshing to see it being taken seriously, and not ignoring it for the benefit of telling an easy story.

My Rating

Must see TV - Week beginning Saturday 16 February 2019

A lot of new TV next week to keep me busy and I am looking forward to the return of “Top Gear” and “Salvage Hunters”. I still love Top Gear, I have not seen any of Grand Tour, and I recently have got into Salvage Hunters in a big way and at the moment playing catch up on back episodes. It was great to have the Walking Dead back in the schedule and still excited on the return of Games of Thrones a few months away from broadcasting.

Saturday - BBC 4 – Trapped 9pm (New Series)

A shocking attack on a politician in Reykjavik means detective Andri Olaffson has to return to his hometown in the north of Iceland. He works with former colleagues Hinrika and Asgeir to investigate a suspected link between the case and far-right nationalists. Return of the thriller, starring Olafur Darri Olafsson.

Sunday – BBC 2 – Top Gear 8pm (New Series)

Matt LeBlanc, Rory Reid, and Chris Harris return for their final run of the motoring show, before Paddy McGuinness and Andrew Flintoff take over as hosts later this year. In the first episode, Matt and Chris go to Norway to test drive the latest estate cars from Porsche and Ferrari, while Rory is joined by racing driver Sabine Schmitz for an unusual motoring challenge - to create Britain's newest mountain with the help of a tiny Suzuki. The team is joined in the studio by Westworld star James Marsden.

Sunday – Channel 4 – Traitors 9pm (New Series)

A spy thriller set in 1945, about a London woman drawn into spying on her own government by her lover, an American agent, who needs her help in rooting out Soviet operatives at the heart of the British establishment. However, she does not realise he has a hidden agenda - keeping his own government in fear of a hidden enemy. Starring Emma Appleton and Keeley Hawes.

Monday – Channel 4 - A New Life in the Sun 4pm (New Series)

I am a sucker for this kind of programming because they are doing something I would never do. Move abroad for a new life. The return of the programme following British expats as they set up new businesses abroad, beginning with a couple attempt to make British beer for the wine-loving French

Monday – Channel 4 - Escape to the Chateau: DIY 5pm (New Series)

Dick Strawbridge and Angel Adoree return to offer advice to more Brits buying chateaux in France, as well as helping new and established expat owners. In the opening episode, Dick joins Elaine and David as they look around a 1850s chateau with 25 rooms, telling them what to look out for when buying such a vast property. The programme also catches up with Tim and Krys from the first series, who renovated rooms for a boutique in the Dordogne, but have been struggling to juggle parenthood with running the business.

Monday – Quest – Outback Opal Hunters 9pm (New Series)

This is a change from watching Aussies search for gold as Opals are the new target. With partner Dan stuck at home, Justin starts the new mining season alone. He is dealt a huge blow as he discovers his rich ground as been pegged by another miner. The search for opals this not easy but it can be profitable. Not the best start to the new mining season.

Wednesday – ITV – The Brit Awards 8pm (New)

I don’t know why I bother watching the Brits other than I like award shows because the music means nothing to me. The comedian and actor Jack Whitehall hosts the star-studded award ceremony live from London's O2, featuring live performances from some of the biggest names in the music industry, including acts such as Little Mix, Calvin Harris with Rag n Bone Man, Sam Smith, Dua Lipa and George Ezra.

Wednesday – Quest – Salvage Hunters 9pm (New Series)

Drew is back and on the road in the search for stock for his shop. In the opening episode we see him in Spain hoping to find an untapped source of rare items, Drew Pritchard tours Catalonia looking for some chic Spanish antiques. In Peralada, he is blown away by a 17th-century house full of treasures. A few weeks ago a new series about his love of cars was aired on the same channel. 

Thursday – Channel 4 – Sleeping With The Far Right 9pm (New Series)

Jack Sen is a self-styled spin-doctor for the nationalist movement and manages websites and social media groups to promote his own beliefs and those of prominent figures in the far right. Alice Levine sets out to discover why he holds the beliefs he does by spending a week in Jack's home, hoping to find out how his worldview shapes his family's everyday life. She also follows Jack as he attends events and activities connected to his beliefs, and speaks to a number of his associates, who are prominent nationalist figures. But having spent seven days in his company, how will Alice feel about her new acquaintance?

Thursday – W – Flack 10pm (New Series)

Drama about an American PR executive living in London, who must figure out how to make the best of bad situations and somehow manage to escape unscathed herself. Robyn dashes to a hotel to clean up a horrendous mess created by a prominent footballer on a sex-and-drug-fuelled bender. Fearsome boss Caroline (Sophie Okonedo) then sends her to kill off the latest of many one-night-stand stories circulating about another client, the `housewives' favourite' celebrity chef Anthony Henderson (guest star Max Beesley).

Thursday - BBC 1 – Bats, Balls And Bradford Girls 11.45pm (New)

This is one of those excellent BBC3 view the iPlayer that’s worth catching up with when broadcast BBC1 main channel. It tells the story of Britain’s first all-Asian girls’ cricket team, which was formed at a Bradford secondary school and narrowly missed out on becoming national champions. Documentary following an all-Asian girls' cricket team over the summer holidays as they train for their last tournament together before going their separate ways.

Friday – Channel 4 – Gogglebox 9pm (New Series)

The fly-on-the-wall series turning the cameras on TV's most vocal armchair critics returns, as the show's regular gaggle of families, friends and viewing party acquaintances settle down to share their insightful, passionate and sometimes emotional critiques on what they have been watching during the week from the comfort of their own sofas.

Friday – BBC 4 – Score: Cinema’s Greatest Soundtracks 9pm (New) 

Elite Hollywood composers including Hans Zimmer, James Cameron, Danny Elfman, John Williams, Quincy Jones and Trent Reznor combine to give a privileged look inside the musical challenges and creative secrecy of the world's most international music genre - the film score.

Friday – Channel 4 - The Big Narstie Show 11:10pm (New Series)

The grime MC and co-host Mo Gilligan return with their late-night anarchic chat, comedy, and music show. Featuring huge celebrity guests, live music performances, and unlikely collaborations, the award-winning show continues to break every chat show rule in the book, so expect the unexpected.