Girlfriends, Mum and I

I added an old girlfriend to my Facebook after she sent me a friend’s request a while ago  I thought why not. We didn’t go out together for too long, I remember going on a football away day and plan to see her when I came back to Cardiff. Instead of meeting up I had a drink with the lads in town.

That was what I was like with any girlfriend. I would drift away or jump in and out of a relationship never throw the word love around until I met the one and we have been married for over 30 years. I sometimes feel I should have open up to my mum in particular but never did, except for once.

I was and still am in a way a very private person I do not like sharing too much. When it came to mum, I did not want to disappoint her when it comes girlfriends especially. Mum never asked about girlfriends not once that I can remember nor dad except for my uncle Johnny who would tease me mercilessly any time he called down thankfully he was not a regular visitor.

Only once did I talk girlfriend with her and that was when I was told I was going to be a daddy. Having been told at work like most men not expecting that kind of news I panicked and rush to mummy for reassurance. I sat there in the living room, looked her straight in the eyes, and said, “I think I got my girlfriend pregnant”. I was expecting some kind of response, some shouting and finger pointing but all I got was “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend” and she walked out of the room and the subject was never talked about by either of us again until many years later jokingly. I was not the father.

Talk of a girlfriend or girlfriends didn’t happen because as a teenager I made a pact with myself I would only share information with my parents about girlfriends if the word love was involved. It is easy to throw the word love around but I have always been looking for lasting love like my parents. I just didn’t feel the need to have one girl after another being introduced to my parents unless it felt right and for me that meant leading to marriage.

When the wife and I got together I knew she was the one and marriage was our goal I even introduced her to the family before we were a couple. Later mum said she knew she was special. I found it easier to talk to be nan about girls who may have been more than friends she was my touchstone growing up.

When I took my wife home before we were even going out mum knew she was special to me it was just for me to tie down the deal.