I f***ing hate Halloween I always have and even more so these days. I didn’t mind part-taking of a bit of egg and flour throwing in my younger years but that was the extent of my enjoyment. I am and always have been a Bonfire Night person.
It has become to Americanised now, kids looking for handouts as if you are some kind of sweet shop. After having a look about the internet, I found I had to blame the Scots for this yearly blot on my life. Typical of the Scots it was not about knocking happily on the door looking for a treat but it was called ‘Guising’, making demands with menaces.
One year I decided to join in the ‘so called fun’ and it just proved why I hate the bloody night with a vengeance. First, you are a marked target, every trick a treater you supply with treats tells their ruddy mates so you have a constant knocking on your door. They have a nerve to hit your house twice and as their parents are standing at your gate, you feel the need to hand out more stuff. Then you have the older teenagers who knock your door mob handed with more than sweets in mind.
Even when you plan not to partake of the unwanted excuse of a celebration, you are not safe. I was once trick or treated in my local shop has I was in the queue. What can you do? I was standing next to the penny sweets so I had nowhere to hide so I stumped up like a good sucker.
If the law allowed me, I would mine the pathway to my front door and throw in some barbwire just in case they get through. I will have my fingers crossed for heavy rain with strong winds to put off the trick or treaters and keep them tucked up indoors. However, the weather for today suggests there is no expected rain but cold really cold … Bugger.
We will be running silent and in the dark tonight, hoping it will be enough to keep them off our door and any shopping needed will be completed before nightfall.
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