The Sunday Sport is still at it - Sex with a Pumpkin!!!!

Oh, The Sunday Sport what a shit Sunday newspaper but if you like unblieveable stories and pages of smut this is the Sunday read for you. It hit the newsstand in the mid-eighties and out of curiosity I bought a few copies when it was first published but the last time I parted with cash to buy a copy must be over 20 years ago that was until this morning.

Why call it Sport? Because its back pages are pretty poor and by time, you reach them, it is consigned to the bin. Sunday Sport Classifieds ads are full of escorts, phone lines who pays 35p a minute to chat to some bird who probably sitting there looking nothing like her advertised picture while Live Sex Cams cost more for the reason you see what you are paying for.

It was after the front page caught my eye triggered memories of others front page pictures of a World War II Bomber on the Moon, or a statue of Elvis Presley on Mars you had to take the paper with a pinch of salt, I have to stop calling it a newspaper. The papers has its defenders saying the Sunday Sport was never intended to be taken seriously like I didn’t know London Bus ran a service to the Antarctic until the paper discovered a bus at the Antarctic. Its content includes a high quota of softcore female nudity and the for mentioned advertising for sexual services.

As I said it has been a while but as I collected my morning paper I just had the urge to buy it maybe it is changed. I doubt it I earlier watched BBC Breakfast paper review and it was not mention. So I am reviewing some of its content today.

Its Defenders of the publication (there are some) have said the Sport was never intended to be taken seriously: it has featured such stories as a World War II Bomber on the Moon, or a statue of Elvis Presley on Mars. Its content also includes a high quota of softcore female nudity and advertising for sexual services.

I had to part with 99p to purchase this paper and I hoped it was worth the money. Not really, it is the same old paper I remembered why I just never liked it. With gagging orders all over the media of course, the Sunday Sport would find a story it you could believe it … the headline is “Dog Poo Parkie wins gag Order”. According to the paper, a grumpy park keeper accused of hurling poo at the public has gained a high court injunction against the paper from naming him. Does anyone care if the story is true or not. I did not even find it funny unlike the next piece of journalism gave me a chuckle.

What about a survey of pumpkins with Halloween days away a survey with a difference right in the fantasy world of the Sport and their screwed up journalists. The best pumpkin to have sex with from the major UK supermarket. Yes what a crazy story but we are talking about the Sport.

According to the Sunday sport consumer champion Rod Collins, of course I googled him and it turns out to be the invisible man. It is claimed that Roddy had sex with five pumpkins and rated them. The act of having sex with a fruit or vegetable even as a name, ‘Pricycle’ a slang term I found via the internet.

In the contest were Asda, Tesco, Sainsbury, Morrison, and Waitrose with the crown given to Morrisons as the best for sex. Roddy was more than happy with the pumpkin giving it a top rating of 5/5 but not all are so highly rated with Waitrose only scoring 1/5, and is the most expensive. Will Morrison’s be advertising them as the best for sex, try our pumpkins?

Roddy’s description of his encounter.

There are, as the jingle states, “more reasons to shop at Morrison”. And one of these has to be the high sexual quality of the store’s pumpkins.

The skin was soft and giving. The interior was wetly inviting and shy yielding like a Norwegian virgin. The phrases “superb” and “second to none” are well used in the field of pumpkin sex but they are apt. Completion come, perhaps too soon. This pumpkin was a delight.

Being slightly older we British before the pumpkin hit the scene it was a Turnip or a Swede we carved an evil face and light it up ward off evil spirits. I would like to see Roddy try and shag these come to think about it, he probably has.